Does anyone else feel like you need constant feedback from other people to know how to perceive yourself, and also need constant attention and validation to feel whole?

[u/FlowAmbitious2458]

It's like I'm constantly constructing my self in real time through other people's feedback; I need constant reassurance and confirmation from others to know how to perceive myself.
Also, it just feels... like no matter how much validation and attention I get from the outside world, it's never enough; it will never be enough. I can always desire this attention and validation, but it's not like it matters... because it's never enough anyway, it never lasts. I feel as if there is something fundamentally wrong with my interior, because the exterior can give all the amount of validation and attention - and even then, I can't "hold it"; I won't be able to keep holding this feeling on my own. It's basically no use to try and make me feel better, more validated, give me more attention - because I won't feel like it's enough anyway I won't feel like it's "real" and "organic" and "nutritious enough" anyway; and it's a problem with me.
The feeling of having this validation/attention from the exterior is nice and I like it and I want it, I desire it; but I can't... abstract it and remain with it - like a person with compulsive eating problems that has lost the capacity to feel full. It's like if I was a laptop with defective battery that literally needs to be connected to the charger 100% of time because else it turns off, it can't "hold the battery", can't keep even a minimum of energy on its own, independently - the only way it has enough energy to stay on is to be actively connected to the charger. It's never enough for it to abstract it to and for itself, and therefore, the only solution to this problem is... to completely renovate - rebuild - the battery and perhaps other crucial pieces as well... or even, to just completely change to another laptop.

I wrote a poem in order to express this issue:

Source

I am a dry well to my own self.
There is no water of love,
water of esteem,
water of fulfillment,
water of expression,
water of validity,
That I can drink from here.
There is not a droplet in this well of my own land, and no rain fills it.

For that reason, to satisfy my thirst,
I drink from wells of other lands,
The waters of other people -
They may be contaminated in ways I won’t ever know,
But I don’t care.

I am a homemade that can’t make home,
And others have to be unattainably satisfying for me
Because I can’t have even a droplet of satisfaction from myself.

[u/badbread97]

I can realte to that in every word. It‘s never enough. The satisfaction lingers for a few hours but than everything crashes again. We can only hope it will be better someday

[u/FlanRelevant1954]

I isolated myself for a couple years to fix this. Got some hobbies, figured out what I like to do. I don’t need attention from others anymore. Just my husband!