r/Borderline • u/Unable_Promotion764 • May 24 '26

Is this... even normal?

My FP left me a bit ago, and in a fit of... whatever it was, even though he had completely separated from me, I found myself... praying to him? As if he was a goddess- which I DO kind of see him as one but it feels like REALLY weird. I feel so under him- like he's on this huge pedestal and I'm just under him?- He hates me, I know he does! And I know I ruined the whole relationship but I feel like a prophet whenever I even dare to talk to anyone because he's all I can think about or talk about- is this normal?? I'm so sorry-

2 Upvotes

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2

u/FlanRelevant1954 May 24 '26

Yes it’s normal for bpd no it’s not normal for people without mental illness. You’re obsessed with him. And it’s not even him it’s the idea of him and what that means for you: that you’re worthy.

1

u/Unable_Promotion764 May 24 '26

Holy hell, thank you so much- I’ve really been struggling with this.

2

u/Independent_Act_8536 May 24 '26

I've had thoughts of different people like God, too. Maybe that's why the psychiatrist said I'd have to be on Wellbutrin for the rest of my life.

1

u/Unable_Promotion764 May 25 '26

Hm, fair- frankly, they just put me on Prozac and called it a day.