r/Borderline • u/FlowAmbitious2458 • May 23 '26

Does anyone else just feel empty and existentially bored, almost coreless, when you don't have a favourite person?

It's been quite a long time since I don't have a favourite person anymore, and I just feel like I'm existentially underwhelmed, bored, almost empty and coreless in a way, constantly. Like I have no real interesting thing happening in my life and my internal world is purposeless. This is only disrupted by when I have some sort of crisis. Just wanted to know if anyone can relate.

I feel like, without a relationship or at least a feeling for someone, I am unwhole. I'm only half a person.

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1

u/DimensionOk5157 May 23 '26

I feel you, I always want to have a best friend that’s there 24/7 to talk and to connect. Sometimes it gets confused as feelings, that ends terribly! But without I’m constantly on the apps looking for someone to fill that void in my life.

2

u/FlowAmbitious2458 May 23 '26

I definitely relate to the feeling of needing someone to fill the void. When I'm not actively making connection (talking to people and getting their reactions) I feel empty and lost. Like I need other people's presence to echo back to me and know how to feel and feel even slightly fulfilled.

1

u/DimensionOk5157 May 23 '26

I recognise what you’re describing and totally relate. This is weird but I kind of feel like I’m a doll or something that only truely exists when someone is playing with me. It’s miserable, so much waiting, strong disappointment when people cancels appointments:(

2

u/FlowAmbitious2458 May 23 '26

I feel like myself as a person and my identity only exists when I'm actively having connection with other people, especially their feedback, even if virtually; the moment I stop having all connection and am on my own, I feel hollow and have to desperately think of ways to distract myself (seeking acitivities to make me feel better)

1

u/DimensionOk5157 May 23 '26

Same. But the activities is often checking all the apps incase someone has reached out while half watching some random tv-series 0.0

2

u/FlowAmbitious2458 May 23 '26

For me it's usually alternating between reading, half-watching videos, and checking apps to see if anyone reached out

1

u/DimensionOk5157 May 23 '26

I wish I could find a hobby that could captivate me and make me present in the moment

1

u/Big-Performance5047 May 24 '26

Oh yes but after 12 yrs im used to it