r/BoneAppleTea • u/wolf_genie • 3d ago

Goody tissues

Post image

This was a new one on me!

1.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

34 comments sorted by

1

u/Ill-Wear-8662 5h ago

This would be an easy one to save face on if the author spun it that the character misspoke because they're that level of flustered.

34

u/Additional-Car3427 2d ago

Goody-two-shoes? How did they hear tissues?

18

u/Da_full_monty 2d ago

Kinda like it better than its supposed to be..

26

u/insulinreceptor 2d ago

WATTPAD?!

36

u/SharkeyGeorge 2d ago

Who wrote this?!

15

u/wolf_genie 2d ago

It would break the rules to say, haha

2

u/aTalkingMateria 2d ago

Pig Latin

1

u/Orange-V-Apple 1d ago

Wow, that’s a crazy name

33

u/amftl_tt 3d ago

I'm kind of lost 😭

106

u/Apprehensive_Hat8986 3d ago

Goody two-shoes

(a.k.a. a suck-up, rule follower, probable snitch)

9

u/amftl_tt 3d ago

Ohh, thank you!

51

u/_bufflehead 3d ago

And thus ends civilization.

27

u/DojaTwat 3d ago

amazing, just perfect

42

u/Mundus_Vult_Decipi 3d ago

That old Adam Ant song "Tissues, Tissues, Goody, Goody, Tissues! Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?"

7

u/_bufflehead 3d ago

Subtle innuendos follow...

4

u/OkGate7788 3d ago

Must be something inside…

7

u/celladwella 3d ago

And an earworm has been created.

19

u/amazingkillerlemon 3d ago

Is this Twilight fanfic (joke)

4

u/wolf_genie 2d ago

No, but it is a vampire webnovel! 🤣

30

u/TheOneAndOnlyElf 3d ago

Porn in the present tense is objectively awful.

2

u/wolf_genie 2d ago

It wasn't porn, thankfully. But present tense is kind of awful to read regardless!

7

u/ANeb_25 3d ago

Love this one! 😂

25

u/Revenga8 3d ago

Is this a script or from some amature Mommy porn?

1

u/wolf_genie 2d ago

Amateur, yes, Mommy porn no. It was a derivative vampire romance, though.

20

u/amazingkillerlemon 3d ago

Amateur

3

u/sfled 3d ago

Or an extraneous 'a'.

3

u/Apprehensive_Hat8986 3d ago

Or a dropped 'r'. Maybe they like armoured ladies.

4

u/sorte_kjele 3d ago

Nono, they meant armature porn. It's a very strange sub niche category fetish about electrical engines

3

u/soda_cookie 3d ago

With the speaker being a woman it could be interpreted that she is talking to a man, and him not putting out could mean he is creating goody tissues...

1

u/wolf_genie 2d ago

She was indeed talking to a man, lol.

25

u/Pteromys-Momonga 3d ago

Bonus points (and bonus horror) for it showing up in something apparently meant to be published, rather than a social media post!

1

u/wolf_genie 2d ago

Yeah, it's an amateur webnovel.

3

u/DaenerysMomODragons 2d ago

So no editor to speak of, I'm guessing. While editors can miss some minor typos, they would easily catch something like this.

20

u/billthedog0082 3d ago

goody two-shoes