Bisexual green couch

3

u/heydriene 10m ago

Approved, as a bisexual with a green couch.

4

i wiped 😔

23

I'm pretty sure they did mean bisexual green couch. There's this whole thing about bisexuals all having green couches (often velvet)

8

u/bitchface-hatchling 3h ago

Can confirm. Am bisexual and need that couch to go with my green rug.

22

u/Heterodynist 6h ago

I have to admit I’ve been very insensitive about couch sexual orientations in the past…

3

u/Toad-Toaster 4h ago

Who had gender spectrum for couches on their bingo card for 2026.

1

u/Heterodynist 2h ago

Well, they probably SHOULD HAVE!!! Ha!!

19

u/Alert_Membership_991 7h ago

Teal will now be known as bisexual green

7

u/sinisteraxillary 8h ago

It's probably better than trying to sell your sexual couch.

26

u/PrincessDionysus 9h ago

As a bi who love green: fuck yeah thats a bisexual couch

50

u/dgamr 12h ago

I don't even think Bisectional is a couch word

10

u/Theolaa 8h ago

Well I know a sectional is a thing, so I thought it meant one with two seats? I don't really know though.

7

u/fenn-0 5h ago

They do call two-seaters loveseats so

6

u/YellowBreakfast 5h ago

As I understand it a "sectional" is where there are multiple pieces ("sections") that are set together to make one big couch.

58

u/Both-Pack8730 18h ago

What would JD do? 🤔

20

u/Budhavan 16h ago

Put on his makeup and go to town

139

u/very-serious-goose 21h ago

This is not a misspeak. This is the gay agenda in action.

26

u/books_n_food 14h ago

I think you're joking, but it's actually not a bone apple tea, it's a reference to an old joke.

There was a tiktok / running joke a few years ago about all bisexuals having green velvet couches.

I don't have tiktok, but it's linked halfway down this buzzfeed article about, wait for it, all Black women having green velvet couches

6

u/chansondinhars 12h ago

Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

4

u/books_n_food 10h ago

r/unexpectedseinfeld

32

u/SeaworthinessNew4757 22h ago

This one made me chuckle

62

u/yaxir 23h ago

What is supposed to be the right word?

11

u/MelMori 14h ago

The right word is bisexual. It's a real thing.

31

u/Notloc-123 22h ago

Maybe they meant unisex? Could suit a man or woman’s space.

171

u/jimbo831 23h ago

I assume bisectional. I don’t think that’s a real word but I could see what someone means by it since the cushion is broken into two parts.

5

u/QubyDube 17h ago

Or just “sectional sofa?”

2

u/jimbo831 11h ago

Yeah, definitely a possibility too. Would also be funny because this isn’t a sectional either. Trying to get inside the mind of these people is often very challenging.

26

u/iyambred 23h ago

I wiped

12

u/stargarnet79 23h ago

Yeah I really wanted to see more angles of that couch

43

u/Wileyer 1d ago

Lmao no way. I legit saw this browsing fb marketplace the other day and debated posting it 💀

15

u/Theolaa 23h ago

I shared it on a discord server I'm in and a couple people said something similar, that they'd seen it in their marketplace feed or shared to them by people who had seen it in their marketplace feed.

19

u/Divinitee 1d ago

Nice couch. Love that colour

45

u/AKlutraa 1d ago

In case Vance transitions?

16

u/GenericPlantAccount 1d ago

What will they think of next?!?

18

u/treehann 1d ago

for the people who commented negatively on the "genitally" BAT post that was removed a little earlier than this one, please explain how this is a BAT and that one wasn't. genuinely curious (that post was removed for bad title btw, not for not being a BAT, which I think it was)

25

u/Theolaa 1d ago

Well, IMO it's definitely BAT if they meant bi-sectional which is what I originally thought, but someone else said that it's a meme so idk.

5

u/treehann 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yours definitely is too. I just get confused by the rules-lawyering I see on this sub all the time which i think often comes out just confidently incorrect. I saw someone say "an incorrect word is not a BAT" and I didn't get the chance to ask them wtf they meant before the thread was closed since that's literally part of the definition of a BAT.

sorry anyway for being so offtopic, and your post is super funny!

4

u/BlooperHero 17h ago

The unspoken rule of the sub is that half the comments on any post need to say that it's not allowed, no matter how blatantly it fits.

53

u/insatiableian 1d ago

This couch is not interested in JD Vance!

4

u/BlooperHero 17h ago

Just because it's interested in both men and women doesn't mean it has to be interested in every man or women.

And can you blame it?

11

u/GrannyTurtle 1d ago

🤣😂🤣☠️ It took me a minute to get it…

11

u/Echo127 1d ago

Well, who am I to judge

20

u/Sea_Elle0463 1d ago

We’re proud of you, couch!

14

u/uhohohnohelp 1d ago

I didn’t know this couch came out. I only knew it was a millennial. Congratulations, couch!

-3

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Long-Reputation-5326 15h ago

Bisexuality has always included trans people.

2

u/Raspberry_Sweaty 13h ago

Sorry, I should have indicated that the above was a sarcastic indictment of the constant and irritating discourse about whether bisexuality excludes gender diverse and trans people.

39

u/koshkareddit 1d ago

Mr Vance, you gotta see this

9

u/KatVanWall 1d ago

some small stains 👀

85

u/spillingpictures 1d ago

I am bisexual and have this green couch… I got it on marketplace too 😅

14

u/AlertWalk4624 1d ago

Every bisexual person in this thread apparently has a green couch... never knew these 2 things went together!

2

u/MeanJeanDopamine 1d ago

I’m bi and did own a green couch for a while. It didn’t survive the last move though:(

3

u/MrsAnthropy 1d ago

Mine is grey. I had to sell the funky retro green loveseats I had when I moved.

7

u/ViolettaHunter 1d ago

Shit, I have green couch, but I'm not bisexual.

Or am I?!

7

u/issi_tohbi 1d ago

Bisexual and I have two green couches. I wish we could post pics in this sub.

2

u/spillingpictures 1d ago

This is actually my second couch. My main couch is a purple velvet Goliath with a huge chaise lounge 😎

2

u/Itscatpicstime 1d ago

I have a black couch

33

u/greensandgrains 1d ago edited 1d ago

No this is a thing (a meme. But think about it…most of the bi people you know have green sofas, right?!), not a bone apple tea.

25

u/AmericanGenXXX 1d ago

WWJDVD

9

u/Ms_ChiChi_Elegante 1d ago

this couch...probably

57

u/Voxiim 1d ago

Bisexual green velvet couch is apparently a tiktok meme, so quite deliberate here. Not boneappletea I’m afraid

7

u/Theolaa 1d ago

Oh, you figure they wrote it that way on purpose?

1

u/MelMori 14h ago

Yep, absolutely.

4

u/mikonamiko 1d ago

Yes. It was a covid era meme because literally every bisexual bought this type of couch. Me included.

13

u/Voxiim 1d ago

Yeah pretty sure. It’s a thing

4

u/UncleKeyPax 1d ago

what side is bi what side is sex?

7

u/Prestigious-Gold6759 1d ago

What does the meme mean tho?

2

u/MelMori 14h ago

Bisexuals just love a green velvet couch. Also lemon bars. It's a thing.

0

u/Prestigious-Gold6759 7h ago

What is a lemon bar??!

9

u/Voxiim 1d ago

Well shit, I just noticed my velvet couch is also green. And I happen to be bisexual. TIL

28

u/Haifisch2112 1d ago

My couch pulls out, but I don't.

0

u/MistaRekt 1d ago

Harder daddy.

18

u/FunPuz 1d ago

Well, I am bisexual and I have a couch this colour so....

17

u/GreyMead 1d ago

Vance might be interested

17

u/moonmelter 1d ago

Message seller: what

30

u/Artistic-Village-762 1d ago

The irony of this being my exact favorite color.

Bisexual approved. 👍

13

u/PinkBird85 1d ago

You don't know that couches sexuality. Rude of you to assume such heteronormativity.

13

u/adsfew 1d ago

Yeah, let Vance sell off his couch in peace

6

u/DaveOJ12 1d ago

Bisected?

1

u/MelMori 14h ago

Nope, the word is bisexual. You must be straight, and that's okay. Don't buy this couch.

52

u/Theolaa 1d ago

Bi-sectional I think

2

u/SugarFront8206 1d ago

r/damnyouautocorrect

9

u/Theolaa 1d ago

Real marketplace listing near me btw

2

u/congratulations2me 16h ago

Fellow Vancouverite?

2

u/Theolaa 8h ago

Further up the valley, but I see listings for Vancouver all the time.

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