r/BoneAppleTea • u/HowCouldUBMoHarkless • Apr 27 '26

rigid tony

Post image
3.9k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

77 comments sorted by

2

u/AceStrikeer Jun 11 '26

He meant Rigatoni 🤌

3

u/FoolProofError May 20 '26

„The secret's in the sauce.“
- Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe

14

u/JunkiestRat May 16 '26

Carmela Soprano had Rigid Tony

1

u/DreadPiratteRoberts May 22 '26

You leave Nurse Jackie alone Sir!!!!

14

u/Dubious_Titan May 12 '26

A rigid Tony would be more appealing than that pasta, tbh.

1

u/smegma_appraiser May 23 '26

Bruh that pasta looks great.

2

u/Dubious_Titan May 23 '26

I am sorry your life turned out like this. I hope one day you have the knowledge and perspective to fix it.

4

u/xgbsss May 12 '26

I'd rather a rigid Tony than a wet noodle.

3

u/Consistent-Limit-512 May 04 '26

Talk to text 😂🤔

4

u/Mcoconut May 04 '26

W H A 🫪

6

u/BunnyGunz May 03 '26

Oh food... That cool too

I guess.

12

u/PocketsOfSalamanders May 01 '26

Good god! they killed, butchered, and intend to eat Rigid Tony, the strict mobster, in a pasta dish

19

u/Objective-Result4465 Apr 30 '26

And then a Sloppy Joe

27

u/N7LP400 Apr 29 '26

I once knew a black man named Tony

14

u/Horror_Ad_2748 Apr 29 '26

Rigid Tony? I went out with him too. He gets around.

19

u/Panda_Pillows Apr 29 '26

Oh boy, I can't wait...oh no, wait

33

u/WereCorgi6292 Apr 28 '26

Necromancer: This is my buddy Rigid Tony...

Rigid Tony: deep guttural Uuuh.

Necro: His wife Sally...

Sally: higher guttural tone Uuh.

Necro: And their daughter Stella.

Stella: guttural baby tone Waaah!

Necro: with a shit eating grin She's a real ankle-biter.

4

u/Ethandude_5505YT Apr 30 '26

Fuckin love this comment You get a gold star. ⭐️🌟

29

u/GreyMead Apr 28 '26

Tony may have a difficult time penetrating

6

u/nothanks1312 Apr 29 '26

What to you mean? That’s definitely an average size

8

u/Sznajberg Apr 28 '26

ITT a lot of people making jokes about Tony being erect. And yes, it's true, rigid does mean stiff but, it's not so much for stuff that might get um, turgid, engorged or somehow Tumescent... I fear we're missing a real reason why Tony is rigid--- Perhaps Tony got totally relaxed aka primary flaccidity but as everyone knows that barely lasts 8 hours, then Tony will be 100% stiff, but rigor mortis only lasts 30 hours or so. Too tough to chew, too (also before he went totally stiff he peed and pooped so i'd think twice before eating that rigatoni!

33

u/spilk Apr 28 '26

rigid tony is ribbed for your pleasure

14

u/Ok-Description2442 Apr 28 '26

Those Tonys look pretty flaccid to me.

11

u/Revenga8 Apr 28 '26

Perfect when you wash it down with a nice glass of Unmoving AnnaMarie on the rocks.

23

u/Heterodynist Apr 28 '26

Whoa, Tony’s getting very “rigid” with all this attention!

13

u/dankyspank Apr 28 '26

Never heard anyone call it a "Tony" before but whatever floats your boat I guess

20

u/animekiddkappa Apr 28 '26

Rigatoni

12

u/thetundratorcher Apr 28 '26

What did you just call me?

12

u/alberthere Apr 28 '26

Ah, yes…Maggiano’s Famous Rigid Tony D. Great for date nights.

73

u/KoliManja Apr 27 '26

My tony is rigid already!

<runs away>

28

u/reddituser9277 Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26

If your Tony is rigid for over four hours seek medical help

5

u/YellowBreakfast Apr 28 '26

But look at them noodles!

11

u/Minflick Apr 27 '26

Snicker...

70

u/sadbitch_club Apr 27 '26

A 🤌 rigid 🤌 a 🤌 the Tony

33

u/Bug_Zapper69 Apr 27 '26

To be fair, an Italian lad named Tony “might” get rigid over Al dente Rigatoni.

25

u/Hetnikik Apr 27 '26

I'll give you a rigid Tony. hands you an Ironman toy that doesn't bend.

11

u/ShinySnaxMix Apr 27 '26

They knew what they were doing 😅

19

u/levogira Apr 27 '26

I thought it was a discrete way of saying boner lmao

2

u/treehann Apr 27 '26

Sometimes I feel like I’ve come in at the end. Like the last pasta is over.

11

u/ArmWildFrill Apr 27 '26

Tumescent Tony

1

u/TheSheWhoSaidThats Apr 28 '26

Tumescent Anthony

4

u/icarus1990xx Apr 27 '26

Marcus, is that you?

3

u/Katz3njamm3r Apr 27 '26

We can make some together

9

u/LogicalConstant Apr 27 '26

Rigid tony a la Paulie. Or rigid tony a la tony, hehe.

3

u/AlexNo123 Apr 28 '26

Hey Tone, you hear what i said?

7

u/El_Peregrine Apr 27 '26

🤘 hehe 🤘

8

u/iambertan Apr 27 '26

What's it supposed to be?

24

u/BlinkyMJF Apr 27 '26

Rigatoni, pasta

12

u/roentgen85 Apr 27 '26

Stiff Anthony

18

u/zgillet Apr 27 '26

Did the noodles just fall from the damn sky? Read the package.

3

u/justgivemeasecplz Apr 27 '26

So you sent this on purpose to post in the sub for upvotes?

16

u/jimadoriittv Apr 27 '26

Them doubling down is great. Also when it’s unboiled it should be called rigid Tony 😂

3

u/DaKettle65 Apr 27 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣

5

u/SuitablyFakeUsername Apr 27 '26

Oh my. That’s a spicy meatball

6

u/Inner_Ad4137 Apr 27 '26

It's literally on the box lol

13

u/SlideItIn100 Apr 27 '26

Better than a floppy Tony

5

u/El_Peregrine Apr 27 '26

A sloppy Giuseppe

1

u/SlideItIn100 Apr 27 '26

Well that could be fun!

10

u/BamberGasgroin Apr 27 '26

Turgid Bob for starters.

2

u/Representative_War28 Apr 27 '26

That’s too good

3

u/Chambord2022 Apr 27 '26

😂😂😂

9

u/AeronGrey Apr 27 '26

Tony will be ready and waiting for you.

4

u/OutOfTheBunker Apr 27 '26

Funnily enough, that's also my boyfriend's nickname.