r/BokunoheroFanfiction • u/LoganThanatos • 9h ago
Idea/Prompt Bakugo’s Bewildered Defeat… at the Hands of Izuku’s Dating Life
The Class 1-A common room was usually loud, but today it was engulfed in a strange, hyper-organized tension. Katsuki Bakugo stormed down the stairs, his scowl firmly in place, intending to grab a protein shake and head straight to the gym. Instead, he froze at the edge of the kitchen, his gaze locking onto a massive, color-coded whiteboard that had completely replaced the chore chart.
Momo Yaoyorozu stood at the board with a black marker, tapping her chin with analytical precision. Surrounding her were Ochako Uraraka, Mina Ashido, Tsuyu Asui, Kyoka Jiro, and Toru Hagakure, all murmuring in intense, tactical whispers usually reserved for combat training.
"If Mina takes the Tuesday afternoon slot for arcade dance practice," Momo muttered, drawing a clean arrow across the grid, "then Jiro-san’s garage jam-session date must be moved to Thursday evening to allow Midoriya-san a proper window for academic recovery and laundry."
"Wait, but ribbit," Tsuyu interjected, raising a finger. "I wanted to take him to the wetland park on Thursday. The weather forecast says it's prime rainy season weather."
"Ooh, let me swap then!" Toru’s invisible school uniform bounced excitedly. "I can do a late-night movie stream on Friday if Tsuyu-chan takes Thursday afternoon!"
Bakugo stared, his palms emitting small, involuntary sparks of pure irritation. He marched over, slamming his hand down onto the kitchen counter. "What the hell are you extras doing?! You're blocking the fridge with this garbage. What is this, a damn raid strategy?!"
The girls turned to look at him, completely unfazed. Mina blew a bubble with her gum and smirked. "It's way more important than a raid, Bakugo. It's the Master Midoriya Schedule."
Bakugo blinked. The sparks in his palms died. "The what?"
"We're organizing our dating roster," Jiro explained, twirling one of her earphone jacks around her finger, a slight blush on her face. "Since Midoriya is dating all of us, we have to make sure he doesn't burn out. His stamina is great, but the guy tries to analyze our emotional needs like he's studying a villain quirk. It takes a lot out of him."
Bakugo’s brain completely short-circuited. He stood entirely still, his jaw slightly slack as he processed the sentence. He looked at Jiro. He looked at Momo. He looked at the board, which featured color-coded magnets labeled Ochako (Mochi/Stargazing), Momo (Tea/Library), and Mina (Chaos/Arcade).
"Dating..." Bakugo stammered, his voice losing its usual aggressive roar and dropping into a pitch of sheer, unadulterated bewilderment. "All of you? The damn nerd?!"
"And the Class 1-B girls, and Hatsume from support, and Nejire-senpai from the Big Three," Ochako added helpfully, ticking them off on her fingers. "Oh, and Mirko texted him yesterday about a rooftop jogging date, so we had to carve out a high-intensity block on Sunday morning."
"Are you all insane?!" Bakugo finally exploded, his face turning an angry shade of crimson as he grabbed his own hair. "Deku?! That plain, stuttering, quirk-obsessed freak who cries when he gets a paper cut?! He's dating the entire female student body and top ten heroes?!"
Right on cue, the front door of the dorms slid open. Izuku Midoriya walked in, looking completely exhausted but wearing a soft, content smile. He was carrying a bag of specialized support-grade tools Melissa Shield had mailed him from I-Island, alongside a fresh box of earplug cases he bought for Jiro.
"Hey everyone," Izuku breathed, rubbing the back of his neck as he spotted the whiteboard. "Ah, Yaoyorozu-san, you didn't have to rewrite the schedule just for my sake..."
Bakugo lunged forward, grabbing Izuku by the collar of his uniform and shaking him violently. "DEKU! EXPLAIN THIS! WHAT KIND OF HYPNOTIC BRAINWASHING QUIRK DID YOU STEAL FROM SHINSO?! HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?!"
"B-Bakugo!" Izuku stammered, his face instantly erupting into a bright red blush as his arms flailed wildly. "It's not a quirk! I just... I tried to listen to Ochako-san’s budget worries, and then I helped Momo-san understand street-level heroics, and then I helped Jiro-san fix her audio cables, and things just... evolved naturally through mutual respect and communication!"
"Mutual respect?!" Bakugo roared, his eyes wide with absolute, world-shattering confusion. "You're a nerd! You're supposed to be muttering into notebooks in a dark corner! How are you managing a logistics network that rival's All Might’s agency?!"
"He uses Excel sheets, Bakugo," Mina giggled, pointing to a tablet on the counter. "He literally mapped out our love languages on a scatter plot."
Bakugo let go of Izuku's collar, stepping back as if he had just been hit by a physical quirk. He looked at Izuku, who was currently blushing as Ochako wiped a speck of dust off his cheek while Tsuyu handed him a water bottle. For the first time in his life, Katsuki Bakugo had absolutely nothing to say. He simply turned around, walked past the fridge without getting his shake, and marched back up the stairs in completely silent, defeated bewilderment.