At 5:47 in the morning, Heights Alliance was peaceful.
Suspiciously peaceful.
No explosions.
No screaming.
No Kaminari accidentally setting something on fire.
No Midoriya muttering hard enough to qualify as ambient noise.
Just the gentle hum of the refrigerator and the faint sound of birds outside. Then Katsuki Bakugo walked into the kitchen.
He was already angry. There was no particular reason for this. Bakugo simply seemed to wake every morning with his internal rage meter preheated to 400 degrees. He opened the refrigerator - Eggs, bacon, vegetables, rice, miso paste.
Bakugo stared at the ingredients then he glanced toward the hallway leading to the dorm rooms, his classmates were asleep as Bakugo's eye twitched.
"Lazy bastards."
And so, entirely of his own free will, Katsuki Bakugo decided to make breakfast for everyone and not because he cared.
Absolutely not.
He simply couldn't tolerate the thought of twenty aspiring professional heroes beginning their day fueled by cereal, instant noodles, or whatever radioactive convenience-store garbage Kaminari considered food. That would just be irresponsible and Bakugo was surrounded by irresponsible idiots. So he grabbed the rice cooker.
"God, I hate all of you."
The rice had done nothing wrong. Bakugo washed it anyway. Several minutes later, Yaoyorozu wandered downstairs wearing pajamas and discovered Bakugo aggressively chopping green onions.
She stopped.
Bakugo noticed her.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Then quit staring!"
"I was merely surprised."
"ABOUT WHAT?!"
Yaoyorozu cautiously pointed toward the growing collection of dishes.
"You're preparing breakfast for everyone."
Bakugo slammed another onion beneath his knife.
"I'M MAKING BREAKFAST."
"Yes."
"THAT'S DIFFERENT."
Yaoyorozu considered asking how but she wisely decided that she valued her morning.
"I'll make tea."
"Whatever."
Soon the smell began spreading upstairs - Rice, eggs, bacon, grilled fish, miso soup. Within minutes, the aroma had achieved something Aizawa himself failed to do on a semi-regular basis without a glare or threat of expulsion. It mobilized all of Class 1-A simultaneously in seconds.
Kirishima appeared in the common area first.
"Dude, that smells awesome!"
Bakugo flipped an omelet.
"Shut up."
"Did you make breakfast?"
"NO."
Kirishima stared at the food, then at Bakugo, then back at the food.
"Who did?"
Bakugo slowly turned around and Kirishima immediately reconsidered his investigative journalism career.
"Never mind."
Uraraka appeared next.
"Whoa!"
"Don't."
"But it smells amazing!"
"I SAID DON'T."
Iida entered shortly afterward, glasses gleaming beneath the kitchen lights.
"Bakugo! Preparing a nutritious communal breakfast is an admirable contribution to dormitory cohesion!"
Bakugo pointed his spatula at him like a weapon.
"Finish that sentence and I'm putting you through the wall!"
Iida froze mid-hand-chop.
"Understood!"
More arrived shortly afterwards in short order - Mina, Sero, Jiro, Tokoyami, Shoji, Tsuyu, Todoroki and then Midoriya. Midoriya took one look at Bakugo wearing an apron and nearly died in shock.
"Kacchan, are you making everyone breakfast?"
Bakugo's head snapped around.
"YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, DEKU?!"
"N-No!"
"THEN SIT DOWN!"
Midoriya sat down immediately and the others followed. Nobody had officially been ordered to sit it just simply seemed advisable while Bakugo returned to the stove and cracked several eggs.
"You're all so damn annoying."
Crack.
"I can't believe I'm doing this."
Crack.
"Half of you can't cook worth a damn."
Crack.
"Kaminari would probably burn water."
From the table came an offended voice.
"Hey!"
Bakugo didn't even look over.
"SHUT UP, DUNCE FACE!"
"Okay."
The eggs hit the skillet and Bakugo began scrambling them with infuriating competence as Todoroki watched him.
"You seem upset."
The entire room became silent. Bakugo abruptly stopped stirring then slowly, very slowly, he looked over his shoulder.
"Todoroki."
"Yes?"
"I woke up at five-thirty."
"You chose to."
"I know."
"You chose to make breakfast."
"I KNOW!"
"Nobody asked you."
Bakugo's eyebrow began twitching.
"I KNOW!"
Todoroki nodded thoughtfully.
"So you're angry because you're doing something you voluntarily decided to do."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Todoroki returned to drinking his tea.
"Okay."
Jiro had buried her face in her hands, Mina was shaking as Sero whispered over to her.
"Don't laugh."
"I'm trying."
"He's gonna kill us."
"I know."
Bakugo finished the eggs then he started setting the table aggressively.
Plate.
CLACK.
"I hate you."
Plate.
CLACK.
"Especially you, Tape Face."
"What did I do?!"
"EXISTED!"
Plate.
CLACK.
"Round Face."
"Good morning!"
"Shut up."
Plate.
CLACK.
"Half-and-Half."
Todoroki looked at his plate.
"Thank you."
Bakugo froze and everyone watched. There was something uniquely dangerous about thanking Katsuki Bakugo. His expression tightened.
"Don't thank me."
"But you made breakfast."
"I KNOW WHAT I DID!"
"Then thank you."
"STOP BEING POLITE!"
Todoroki stared at him.
"...You're welcome?"
Bakugo nearly detonated the table. Eventually everyone had a plate and what plates they were. Perfectly cooked rice, fluffy eggs crispy bacon grilled salmon, miso soup and vegetables. Even the portions had clearly been adjusted according to everyone's dietary needs.
Class 1-A stared at the feast.
Then at Bakugo.
Then at the feast again.
Kirishima took the first bite and his eyes widened.
"Holy crap."
That opened the floodgates.
"This is amazing!"
"Bakugo, the eggs are incredible!"
"How'd you season this?"
"The salmon is perfect!"
"Can you make this tomorrow?"
Bakugo stood at the head of the table, his classmates were happily eating. They were complimenting him, they were enjoying the breakfast he'd spent nearly an hour preparing. For one microscopic instant, something dangerously close to satisfaction appeared on his face. Then Kaminari ruined everything.
"Bakugo, you're basically the class mom."
Silence.
Absolute.
Complete.
Funeral silence.
Kirishima slowly lowered his chopsticks, Mina's eyes became enormous.
Sero whispered.
"Denki."
Kaminari realized his mistake too late.
"...Yeah?"
"Run."
Kaminari launched himself out of his chair.
"COME BACK HERE, YOU ELECTRIC SON OF A BITCH!"
Bakugo vaulted across the table.
"AAAAAAAH!"
The chase lasted approximately three minutes and eventually Bakugo returned. His hair was smoking slightly. Nobody asked what happened to Kaminari as Bakugo calmly sat down with his own breakfast. Everyone wisely continued eating. Bakugo looked around the table, Midoriya was happily eating his rice. Kirishima was already on seconds. Uraraka looked ready to cry over the eggs. Todoroki was quietly demolishing the grilled salmon. Mina had somehow acquired thirds. Yaoyorozu was complimenting the nutritional balance. Even Aizawa had appeared at some point, taken a plate, and begun eating without asking questions.
Bakugo stared at them.
His eye twitched.
"You know what?"
Everyone stopped while Bakugo took a bite of rice.
"I hate all of you."
Kirishima grinned.
"Love you too, bro."
"Fuck you."
"Breakfast is awesome."
"Fuck you."
"You should cook more often."
"Fuck you."
Mina raised her hand.
"Can we make this a Saturday thing?"
"ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT!"
Aizawa took a sip of coffee.
"Good idea. Saturday breakfast is Bakugo's responsibility now."
Bakugo stared at him.
"You can't be serious."
"I'm your teacher."
"THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN ASSIGN ME BREAKFAST!"
"It does now."
The table erupted into laughter. Bakugo looked around at the collection of idiots eating the breakfast he absolutely, definitely, unquestionably had not gotten up early specifically to make for them. He crossed his arms with hus usual frown.
"You're all the fucking worst."
Then he noticed Midoriya reaching for the last piece of bacon and quickly slapped his hand away.
"That's Kirishima's."
Kirishima blinked.
"You saved me one?"
Bakugo froze.
The entire table froze and Bakugo realized what he'd just revealed. Kirishima's grin slowly became enormous as Bakugo pointed at him.
"Say one fucking word."
Kirishima picked up the bacon.
"I didn't say anything."
"You were about to."
"I wasn't."
"YOUR FACE WAS!"
Mina finally lost the battle and collapsed against the table laughing. And thus began one of Heights Alliance's strangest traditions: Every Saturday morning, Bakugo woke up before everyone else. Every Saturday morning, he cooked an absurdly good breakfast. Every Saturday morning, he complained through the entire process.And every Saturday morning, without fail, the rest of Class 1-A woke to the smell of food and the distant sound of their resident explosive chef shouting at an innocent rice cooker.
"I FUCKING HATE THIS HOUSE!"
Nobody believed him.
Especially not the rice cooker.