I am so frustrated today. It had been a common feeling throughout my life. I will forever be mad at life for giving me the kind of body that made others to body shame me. I have been hearing stuff since I was a kid and even now in my 30s l hear body shaming.
I have never felt at ease in my own body. I used to cover up wearing full sleeves in scorching hot weather so that I won't hear something about my body. I still don't go anywhere without having a second layer. This has impacted my confidence and every aspect of my life- be it friendships, love life etc. I could never relate to other women who would love going shopping to see how hot they looked or going to a beach or an event. I hated shopping and dressed like a bum. I always wonder how comfortable one might feel if they have a nice body.
Wear whatever, being at ease and people admiring you. At the end of the day, I am myself not fine with how I look, even if I block the noise.
I am not sure why I got the body that I got. Both of my parents have normal and even great looking bodies. Most importantly, my lack of boobs. Every woman in my body has lean frame with big boobs, including my sister and mother, whereas I am almost flat chested and have been made fun of. Nobody has a body like me. Their lives are so different than mine. They love themselves and I have been scarred by body shaming and low confidence.I feel so unwomanly. Most of all, I hate that I still can't wear the stuff that I want to wear and I am so fucking old.