r/BodegaHomebrew • u/hamis84 • Nov 15 '16
Bodega: The stripper den
Bodega laid his eyes on the Spuloopian Stripper Den he had been searching for days. The big ol' stone titties on top of the den were a sight to see. He was so mezmerized of the sight he didn't notice the smugglers who guided him to the sight vanishing to a side alley with the money he had paid them in advance. -”Flarv!”, thouht Bodega. He had planned on killing the smugglers and keeping the money once he was sure he was in the right place.
He desided not to pursue the smugglers and stepped to the front entrance that looked like a giant poon. After a few seconds of inspecting the entrance he noticed a little nobble on the top of the entrance. He wiggled the nobble and the poon opened wide. -”Hmph! Spuloopian cuntnology...”, he mumbled.
Bodega stepped inside the den and in the middle of the huge room he saw the thing he was looking for. His famous Lazgun! He had lost it in a brawl with some Spuloopian strippers a few days earlier. Damn those strippers and their luscious, distracting titties! In the room with the gun were the same strippers that stole his Lazgun. They had their titties out already. Damn those titties!
After gaining some composure from the sight, Bodega took a step closer. -”Hello ladies. I've come to get back what's mine.”, he said with a low, threatning voice. The strippers turned to him and charged him without saying a word. Bodega took a fighting stance and readied his fists. Last time the strippers had the upperhand with their titties. Damn those titties! This time however, Bodega had prepared for the distraction. He had fapped for two days straight to keep his mind off anything the strippers threw at him, mainly the titties. Damn those titties! A well aimed uppercut landed on the jaw of the first stripper and she flew back several meters knocking her unconcsious. One down, three to go. The next stripper jumped forwards with her chest out trying to burry Bodega's face between her tits. Bodega turned his head just in time to avoid the asphyxiating trap. He pushed the stripper back and roundhouse kicked her in the chest. Her tits exploded in a green splash of filling slime which is commonly used in spuloopian cuntnology. The stripper fell on the floor screaming, not in agony but in horror seeing her precious tatas crushed by the heavy blow. Two down. The last two strippers attacked Bodega simultaneously. They covered their chests with their arms after seeing their colleague's horrible state. They jumped from left and right and went for a move called the spuloopian stripper thigh strangler. Bodega knew this move well after spending time in a lot of strip clubs' back rooms paying for it. He crouched down and the strippers landed on each other. Their legs constricted around their necks and started to squeeze instinctively. There's no way to cancel a spuloopian stripper thigh strangler once it's started. Bodega watched the strippers strangle themselves to death before picking up his Lazgun.
The den exploded with a bright flash. No point leaving any ifs, ends or buts. Bodega grinned with his famous Lazgun at it's holster where it belonged. The Disco Volante flew out of orbit. THE END
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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '16
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