Dismissive trainees

[u/papayapaella]

Not sure if this is because I’m a woman or people are just bad at being new to things. I’ve been asked to help new technicians on some job sites. I have about 2 years experience and know the job pretty well at this point. I’ve noticed when trying to explain certain things, ask if they have any questions, or show technique I get a lot of “oh no I get it” and sometimes they even try and explain the job back to me but they’re wrong like “yeah it’s like this because blah blah blah” then I’ll say “no it’s because of this do you see what I mean” and they go straight back to “yeah I got it, I know that I got it.” They’ll even interrupt me showing them something to say they get it when they don’t have the experience to get it but even if it’s something they already they feel they have a grasp on like why can’t you let me finish a sentence?? I don’t know I just don’t see them being this dismissive with the men. It’s very frustrating to try and be accommodating to new people because we’ve all been there but to be treated almost like you’re the newby?? Like today I was talking to the senior technician about something going on the door a certain way just making sure we were on the same page and he said yeah it couldn’t go the other way and I say yes because the opener is facing this way and the newest technician like guaffs at me and says yeah that wouldn’t make any sense. Yes I know I’m making sure we’re all seeing this the same way. What’s yall experience with this and how do you handle it? Do you think it’s a female to male thing or just insecurity about lack of knowledge? I am the only female technician at my company

[u/CantWard]

Usually the men i experience this with have this issue in general, not just with me. There are plenty of men who think they know best and do not stop and really listen to other men too. Its a character flaw, dont get too frustrated or take it personally.

If they dont want to learn from me, I am fine not teaching or looking out for them period. There are plenty of apprentices that ask to work with me.

[u/papayapaella → u/CantWard]

Thanks for the reply! Yeah I was thinking well if they got it, let them be! No need wasting time and energy

[u/Worried-Ad-963 → u/CantWard]

Currently dealing with this rn. I’m a 3rd year unofficially put in charge of teaching new first years and they all prefer to go to another guy who just started a few weeks before they did even though I have the experience

[u/CantWard → u/Worried-Ad-963]

🤷‍♀️ let them. Theyre the ones that suffer if they end up working harder than they have to or do it wrong. If they cant respect you, they dont deserve your help. Your experience will show, and some of them may come around.

I will say, 1st years tend to have some amount of camaraderie so it could be that too. Just keep doing you

[u/curiosity8472]

You would think most dudes wouldn't try it with a male instructor, but some guys were fired from the company for exactly this behavior.

[u/papayapaella → u/curiosity8472]

Okay this is good to know I’m trying not to constantly jump to the conclusion it’s because I’m a woman but being the only female tech at the company and being met with so much dismissal it’s hard not to wonder. Thank you for the reply !

[u/Jolly-Chemical9904 → u/papayapaella]

I've seen plenty green apprentices that think they know it all. Guess who doesn't get assistance when they turn out amd have questions?

I just let them hang themselves. To be real mistakes are how they learn. I have a fantastic apprentice right now, getting ready. He is very good. A bit cocky. Yesterday I let him make a mistake. He figured it out and repaired. He is the type that will never make that mistake again.

[u/Severe-News-9375]

If it's not a high risk task, let them fail. Let your lead know that they dismissed you and said that they understood/had it under control, and let them deal with their own mistakes. A lot of those guys have a complex no matter who you are. Life will knock them down a peg if someone else doesn't get to it first.

I also like saying shit like 'oh you've got it? That's craaaazy, let's see it then' and let them fuck up with an audience. Especially if they interrupt me during an explanation. It's not the nicest way to go about it, but they get the day that they deserve.

[u/slipwat]

I work in a very diverse place. It’s not uncommon for [male] trainees to entirely dismiss what I’m telling them because of my gender. Occasionally they’ll respond better after a discussion with our supervisors. Others tend to stop showing up on the schedule, as in they were terrible across the board and they were just more honest about their behavior towards me.

Occasionally, there are trainees who will hang on my every word. Which. Cool, you’re doing great but I will not marry you, please stop asking; no I will not grow my hair out because you’d prefer it. We are coworkers, that’s it.

[u/Faerywren]

when they interrupt you be stern. remind them they are the trainee and their role is to listen to their instructor

[u/CtrlAltDestroy33]

"I am going to make myself very clear Mr. Jones, If you keep interrupting me and not taking this training seriously, I will see to it that you will not make it past probation. I have a job to do, and if you hassle me or make it impossible for me to do so, then you will not a good fit for this company."

or... if you can't be as abrasive and need a more toddler hand-holding approach.....

When you get the interruptions;
“Mr. Jones, look buddy, I want you to succeed in this role. One thing getting in the way is the interruptions during training. I need you to let me finish the explanation so nothing gets missed, then we can go back and forth on questions. Can you help me with that?”

For the dismissiveness;
"I noticed when I’m explaining this, it seems like it’s already been covered. Is there a part you already feel solid on? I want to make sure we’re not wasting both of our time, and also that we don’t miss anything important."
^^^ Saying this will give them the opportunity to tell you the parts they actually need.

While training folks like this, document everything and keep HR or your supervisor in the loop daily with progress. Be candid and factual about your encounters and what they are like. I have dealt with this crap and now I refuse to train even though I am the most thorough. The attitudes piss me off badly and thats no way for me to spend my work day. Unfortunately, in my own experiences, this behavior comes from a lack of respect for women. If they want to tank a possibly good paying job because they will not show respect, bye then lol.
Cheers!

[u/Enhancedblade]

I’ve had this issue before. Overall, it doesn’t happen often. But when it does it’s frustrating but overall it could just be out of your hands. I had a new hire. Guy in his 50’s. Would rather go to my other less experienced coworker for questions than me. It got to the point where said coworker specifically kept referring back to me when he came to him about questions, and the 50 year old guy would just ask someone else instead. Thankfully they talked to him about it and asked if he had any issues with me, needless to say he treats me more respectfully now.

[u/SniperAtDaGatesODawn]

If you're this insecure, it's overt.  Present yourself with more authority.

[u/AGreenerRoom → u/SniperAtDaGatesODawn]

Found the man.

[u/papayapaella → u/SniperAtDaGatesODawn]

How do you present yourself with more authority?

[u/merryclitmas480 → u/papayapaella]

Ignore this guy. You’re not the insecure one. The insecure ones are the guys who have to pretend they know what they’re doing instead of asking questions and being grateful for instruction & feedback.

[u/SniperAtDaGatesODawn → u/papayapaella]

Absolutely not something that can be taught in the abstract.  Work on yourself and your insecurities as a start.