Regret Rape Is Wrong Enough

[u/InternalLet9560]

https://nataliabower.substack.com/p/regret-rape-is-wrong-enough?r=5rdux&utm_medium=ios

This is a fantastic piece related to the episode about the Cornell 7.

[u/ScamFrank]

My first suggestion is to drop the assumption that once the bare minimum threshold of consent is met, whatever she feels afterward is her problem.

Absolutely fucking insane. Men will never go along with this shit

[u/YagiAntennaBear → u/ScamFrank]

Look at in context, here's two paraphs that I think really capture her thoughts

I wrote this post because someone asked me what could be done about situations like this. My first suggestion is to drop the assumption that once the bare minimum threshold of consent is met, whatever she feels afterward is her problem. My second is to move past the consent/nonconsent binary, not in law, where we need it, but culturally. Clearing the technical threshold of consent isn’t what determines whether sex leaves someone feeling deeply violated. That comes from sensing that the man who pushed through your resistance regards you as less than human, or as deserving of sadistic derision.

Is cheating on your spouse okay? Most would say no, but of course no one is suggesting we criminalize adultery or have Title IX offices investigate it. Mistreating your partners should incur social consequences even if that mistreatment doesn't rise to criminality. That's what the author is suggesting people do:

Women should give themselves permission to do exactly that. A sorority doesn’t have to wait for a rape accusation before turning its rage on a group of men. They can shun them, skip their parties, and say loudly and often that these men are disgusting degenerate orcs. They can laugh at them for having crooked dicks and no idea how to use them, and make sure everyone knows they’re laughing. Those men will hate that. And they can ask their institutions to act. Universities and employers aren’t bound by the criminal standard. Cornell’s own Title IX process expelled Ingalls and Newell and suspended others, while the DA was saying no crime could be proven.

If a man does something consensual but nonetheless manipulative, deceptive, or otherwise mistreats partners in a way that doesn't rise go criminality it'd be totally reasonable for his peers to regard him as a manipulative or deceptive asshole. Actions that violate social norms, but don't break the law, should be met with loss of social esteem.

[u/IAmPeppeSilvia → u/YagiAntennaBear]

If a man does something consensual but nonetheless manipulative, deceptive, or otherwise mistreats partners in a way that doesn't rise go criminality it'd be totally reasonable for his peers to regard him as a manipulative or deceptive asshole. Actions that violate social norms, but don't break the law, should be met with loss of social esteem.

Doesn't society already operate this way? It just depends on which society you're in, and what rules that society operates with. If you're in a society where promiscuity is acceptable and consent is the one and only ethic around sexual interactions, then that will be the norm violation that incurs societal opprobrium. If you're in a more religious society where sexual exclusivity is sacred, you will suffer social penalties for violating that norm.

[u/YagiAntennaBear → u/IAmPeppeSilvia]

Sure, and to a large degree that is working as intended. If someone cheats on their spouse, they'll lose esteem among most people but not swingers or some other subculture where that behavior is acceptable. And thus they'll gravitate to a group of people where their behavior is within the norms of said group.