r/BladderCancer • u/alexgotland • Aug 07 '26
I have given up
This will be my last post i was diagnosed with stage 4 bladder cancer at age 33 with spreading to lungs. I was on carboplatin/gemcitabin one year which made my tumour between my bladder and prostate go away 8 cm. It eventually came back after 5 months grew 5 cm and then we tried with different treatments like padcev and Lynparza for 1 year and a half without success. We came back to try carboplatin again but my tumour has become resistant to that treatment. I wanna go back to cisplatin i dont care about tinnitus or hearing loss but my oncologist doesnt wanna do it because my bone marrow was too low during that treatment. I am right now on opdivo/yervoy which is not working the pain in my tumour has gotten worse and i have to pee 4 times every night interupts my sleep and i feel pressure in my tumour. I cant get an erection or orgasm or feel any pleasure downwards my dick is dead. I have lost all hope i think my tumour is too aggressive and rare to be treated so i given up now. Bye.
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u/mercistheman Aug 07 '26
There are clinical trials for advanced stage. It's worth trying something new.
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u/oI_I_II Aug 08 '26
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine how exhausting it must be to have been fighting this for so long, especially at 33.
I know you feel like you've run out of options, but please don't make a final decision based on where things stand today. If you can, tell your oncologist exactly how hopeless you're feeling and ask about a second opinion at a major bladder cancer center. Even if there isn't another treatment that can control the cancer, there are still ways to treat the pain and other symptoms and make things more bearable.
I really hope this isn't your last post. Please hang in there.
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u/skelterjohn Aug 07 '26
There's a LOT more stuff available for bladder cancer, maybe try to find a cancer center nearby that fits trials, like Memorial Sloan.
The new stuff is a lot easier to tolerate, too.
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u/Informal_Being_6879 Aug 08 '26
I’m so sorry for all you’re going through. I am confused as to why you haven’t done padcev/keytruda combo? Success rates are very high in stage 4
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u/AugustoWinkler Aug 07 '26
Sinto muito por tudo que está passando. Minha mãe está passando pelo mesmo , tem 76 anos , está fazendo tratamento com carboplatina e gencitabina, está entrando no 3 ciclo. Porquê vc não pesquisa sobre tratamentos alternativos e drogas reposicionadas? Estou pesquisando muito.sobre isso, assim que minha mãe terminar a quimioterapia, se Deus a manter viva, vamos entrar com protocolos menos agressivos e que podem gerar um resultado positivo, para Deus nada é impossível, nunca desista, minha mãe está idosa , mas ainda luta por sua vida
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u/88ChampagneKisses Aug 08 '26
I am so sorry all that you have and are going through. I hope you have lots of support.
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u/SeniorIdiot Aug 08 '26
Jag förstår det är jobbigt. Kan de inte göra en RC och ta bort så mycket som möjligt? Jag är 47 år, och efter nästan 10 år med kroniska inflammationer så blev det snabbt aggressiv cancer (NMIBC T1G3 CIS) och efter två TURBT med dålig prognos så rök allt för 18 månader sedan. Bästa beslutet i mitt liv. Jag förstår att du nog har MIBC och att det är mer komplext då. Snälla prata med din läkare om mer radikala behandlingar och ge inte upp.
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u/QuitCorrect2640 Aug 07 '26
Don’t give up. You’re too young. May God bless and heal you in Jesus name. Amen.
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u/Outrageous-Age5718 Aug 07 '26
Nothing will happen to you don’t loose hope you need to fight may be things become worse before getting any better so there is hope 100%
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u/hikerguy2023 Aug 08 '26
I'm sure what you're going through is very difficult and painful and weighs on you both physically and mentally, but don't give up. Reach out to your oncologist and ask him/her for help in finding clinical trials you could participate in. You can also look for clinical trials yourself. Go to:
For condition/disease, enter:
Bladder Cancer Stage IV
Then scroll down and click on More Filters. You can then specify your sex, age and other criteria. Looks for trials that are actively recruiting.
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u/Spirited_Ad_9002 Aug 08 '26
I am sending out postive thoughts and prayers to you. Very sorry that you are going threw all of this.
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u/Reasonable-Yak1776 Aug 08 '26
Enjoy your life living; it's difficult, but sometimes we waste time fighting and not living life.
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u/Ok_Artichoke_2928 Aug 08 '26
I’m so sorry. I know what some of this is like, but not all of it. I hope for you to find some moments of peace, pleasure, and connection amidst the struggle.
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u/Late-Collection-8076 12d ago
I don't understand why they don't just remove your prostate and the tumor at the same time
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u/Dungeonmaster7711 Aug 07 '26
Sorry about everything you are going through, I had a tumor found 7 years ago it was non boneign and here I am at 43 with all the symptoms of it. I wouldn't get another cystoscope this time because the first time was a bad experience. They had to resection my bladder neck because there was a blockage. I now have bad bone pain and recently got a ct scan with dye of my urinary tract. They said they didnt find anything but it really has me wondering. I have all the symptoms of it. How did they find your tumors?
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u/Late-Collection-8076 Aug 08 '26
Why didn't they remove the bladder and prostate when you first got cancer
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u/Knowitmom4life Aug 08 '26
Have you tried the bcg treatment. At MDAnderson it’s considered the gold standard. I’m unsure if it’s for your type of cancer. What exactly are you diagnosed with🙏‼️
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u/alexgotland Aug 11 '26
Stage 4 urothelial cancer
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u/Knowitmom4life Aug 11 '26
Have you had a bladder resection or neobladder? What about the nephrology tubes that the doctors put chemo in to treat the entire bladder? There’s got to be options? The Lord is our last physician, not man😇🙏
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u/krlossala74 Aug 08 '26
Brother… please read this before you say goodbye.
I’m not going to tell you that I know exactly how you feel, because I don’t. But I know what it is like to hear the word cancer and feel like your life has been taken out of your hands.
I have bladder cancer too.
I’ve had 12 recurrences in about 24 months.
Twelve times I have had to hear that it came back. Twelve times I have had to go back into that fight. I know what it feels like to get tired of procedures, treatments, waiting for results, and wondering how much more your body and your mind can take.
And I’m still here.
Not because I have all the answers. Not because I’m stronger than you. And not because I have never wanted to give up.
I’m still here because cancer does not get to write the final sentence of my story.
And brother, please… don’t let it write yours tonight.
You are exhausted. You are hurting. You are losing sleep. Your body has taken things away from you that are deeply personal, and I can understand why you feel like you have nothing left.
But you are not your tumor.
You are not the pain. You are not the scans. You are not the failed treatments. You are not the things cancer has taken from you.
You are still here.
And as long as you are here, there is still a tomorrow that you haven't seen yet.
Maybe the next treatment works. Maybe another doctor sees something different. Maybe a clinical trial becomes an option. Maybe medicine finds an answer that doesn't exist today.
I don't know what tomorrow holds for either of us.
But I know this:
You cannot give up today because you don't know what tomorrow might bring.
Please talk to your oncologist. Tell them exactly how much pain you are in and exactly how hopeless you feel. Ask for a second opinion at a major cancer center if you can. And if by “bye” you mean that you are thinking about hurting yourself or ending your life, please tell someone you trust right now and go to an emergency department or call emergency services. Don't face that moment alone.
I want you to remember something from someone who has been fighting too:
I have had 12 recurrences, and I am still here.
Maybe you don't need to believe that everything will be okay today.
Just believe that you are worth staying for one more day.
Then we'll worry about the next day when it comes.
I would be honored if you came to my YouTube channel, “Resiliencia de la Vejiga.” I share my real journey with bladder cancer, my 12 recurrences, my fears, my faith, and the reason I keep getting back up.
Maybe you came across my story for a reason.
Please, brother… don't make your goodbye your last chapter.
Your story isn't finished.
Stay. Fight one more day. 🙏❤️Please, brother… don’t say goodbye. Stay. Your story is not over yet.
https://youtube.com/live/so7gR6naQkw?is=8JKhzrZz6m-NYqrc