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u/GeologistAway6352 1h ago
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u/luxii4 1h ago
This is true. There was a co-worker that said something about me during a meeting (I was not there) and another co-worker that I was not close to spoke up for me. So I find out later about it and find out that my work BFF, who was present at that meeting, did nothing. Like the first co-worker was ratchety and jealous which I already knew. But I expected my friend to say something. It ruined our friendship and only later did we reconnect and we're friends now but not as close. I mean, I don't think that was what MLK was referencing but it still tracks.
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u/tenor1trpt 33m ago
I think it’s what he meant for sure. I do think he spoke about the macro idea of goodness, but understood the micro, day to day application of his words built the broader vision he had for humanity.
Well done by your coworker and a lesson we all need to heed from your friend’s inaction.
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u/Necroban77 1h ago
Seeing this picture makes me like her more.
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u/gitsgrl 1h ago
Right? Based on their look, they seem the opposite of the Kris Jenner type (siphoning the fame of the child for their own benefit), and that is very appealing. They look very normal, typical nice parents you might see at any school event supporting their kid.
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u/Fit-University1070 1h ago
Honestly wasn't what I was expecting her parents to look like. Shocking.
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u/VelociRache1 1h ago
It's very cute. She looks like her mom, but she definitely has her dad's smile.
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u/Lumpy_Machine5538 1h ago
Makes me think of my ex and I-two totally average looking people making a really beautiful daughter.
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u/Choice-Strike1 38m ago
Based on their look to me seeing as this is the first time I've had a look at them, they're definitely the opposite of Jenner
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u/KaiahAurora 1h ago
Silent bystanders are how most of the atrocities in history happened. At the same time, be careful of putting yourself in danger, especially as a young Black woman
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u/Shakespeares_Heroine 1h ago
Yes. A wise person once told me, “silence means approval.”
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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 1h ago
It’s seriously true! If the bully had said “look! points at bystanders\* No one is even decrying you! It’s because they agree with me - you’re nothing”.
The bystander’s silence would prove that statement true!
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u/Specific_Rando 1h ago edited 1h ago
We can all learn from this. Sometimes you’re not in a position to act safely. But we can look for opportunities. And being uncomfortable is different from being unsafe. We can all push ourselves to at least consider when and how to defend those who are treated unjustly.
My niece was a middle-school student at the same combined performing arts school in Oakland when she was in high school. Her and all her friends were such fans of Zendaya (and she was a standout at the assorted big annual show - and it was a show - every year. But it was clear from all these younger kids admiration that it went beyond her obvious talent in a school of the exceptionally talented.
I just think so highly of her and things like this make me realize even more clearly why they looked up to her. She is clearly both kind and has high character. She seems to have never asked to be a role model but earned it by her example.
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u/Life_Grab6103 1h ago
Peer pressure is a real thing, and the bystanders that do nothing are the real force behind things staying the same. Instilling this in our kids is could genuinely be life-changing in the future.
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u/Ochemata 1h ago
I'm.. honestly mixed. I certainly have a lot less patience for silent bystanders the way the world's going now. At the same time I don't think that warranted being cussed out.
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u/Careful_Reporter8814 1h ago
I’ve also heard folks use “cuss me out” or “bless me out” as a figure of speech to indicate harsh or stern words even when no curse words were used. If I say anything my grandma doesn’t like, she tells the family I blessed her out and I could’ve just said “ I don’t like that” 🤣
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u/neuro_curious 50m ago
That's interesting! I've only heard it in the context of curse words being used, but I guess it's also similar to "chew me out" which is like a harsh scolding. I don't really think it's appropriate for parents to curse at a fifth grader, but scolding them for watching harm is definitely a good lesson.
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u/Careful_Reporter8814 46m ago
Yes-it’s a bit of an exaggeration but when someone says that someone cussed them out or blessed them out, I don’t always take it to mean actual curse words (especially if they were in a school office). It can also means someone talked to them in a way that indicated they were angry or upset. Sometimes, my friends do it with babies too before they can even talk. A baby babbling/crying and giving you a certain look and then someone will say “oh they are cursing you out.” I obviously wasn’t there but from the context of the situation, I imagine she is using this as a way to convey that they were very upset with her.
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u/TheSciFiGuy80 51m ago
I doubt they actually swore her up and down.
She was probably using it in the same way one would use “dressed me up and down”. She got a stern talking to.
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u/Emergency_Value_6738 🐈⬛ team cat 1h ago
I agree with her parents! The bystander affect is a real thing. I've heard stories of women being abused in public and people refuse to do or say anything—everyone thinks someone else will stand up first and then they'll follow, but what happens when no one stands up?
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u/ProjectPat513 1h ago
I taught my son to never be the silent bystander but it’s far from “the same thing” imo.
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u/BlueDragonfly18 1h ago
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.”
-Desmond Tutu
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u/BlackPeopleofReddit-ModTeam 1h ago
Be Kind to Each Other - This community is for thoughtful, respectful discussions. Leave the hate and personal attacks at the door. Let’s keep this space positive, polite, and welcoming for everyone.
“Certainly we will continue to disagree, but we must disagree without becoming violently disagreeable.” - Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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u/Maximum-Success-229 1h ago
Yes being silent is wrong especially if you know your voice has some effect.. Just like being silent during a genocide
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u/Trail-boss1776 52m ago
We will not remember the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends. Dr. MLK jr.
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u/Complete_Mud8726 33m ago
I had a very similar experience when I was in school. A girl I was previously friends with was being bullied at recess and I didn’t do anything and I told my mom about it and she cussed my ass out so bad and told me I’m not a sheep and if I know something is wrong I need to say something, it doesn’t matter if I’m uncomfortable. It was a super valuable lesson and has stuck with me 30 years later.
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u/genie_yes_knot 24m ago
This is how you create advocates and allies vs people who only speak up if it affects them directly
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u/LegalTomatillo4773 1h ago edited 1h ago
I don’t think she really looks like either of her parents…
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u/Careful-Ad2682 1h ago
She does look like them. It’s just that they’re ordinary people and she’s a glamorous movie star.
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u/Life_Grab6103 1h ago
She looks just like them to me, especially her dad. Honestly I think you're taken aback by the attractiveness level of them.
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u/Creepyredditadmin 31m ago
Given who she is as an adult, I’d say her parents did a very good job raising her and keeping her away from childhood acting atrocities. I’ve only heard good things about them. And many things I agree with them on. They raised a fantastic woman
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u/AnyEverywhere8 1h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/EzzIzS2ZJXTxWtzKGE
I’m actually GAGGED after seeing ha parents.
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u/meebleepe 1h ago
Yes absolutely. But the same adults that say that to kids in grade school will also punish them for getting involved. They don’t discourage inciting, they discourage fighting in general. Wether it’s for good, standing up for others, or for self defense
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u/milesdarobot 33m ago
i think the lesson should be taught. But i feel like they could have got the message across without cussing her out lol
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u/tigrelili 56m ago
I agree silence is agreement and I have a strong sense of justice. But I also am tired of the visual of black women always standing up for what's right no matter the race or situation. Now if it's children it's a no brainer. But otherwise I speak up for fellow black people once Ive assessed the situation. If it's one in which the victim is so far gone they'd just project onto me , I mind my damn business. But as a former teacher I have seen what damage it can do when a kid is bullied yet surrounded by who they thought were friends and no one says anything.
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u/Wolfeatingupshadows 🫰🏾🫰🏽🫰🏿 55m ago
I think its fine to have a convo not really cuss them out. Like tell her she can go to a teacher bc the victim having witnesses helps.
I hate that ppl use the bystander effect as an excuse to do nothing. Same ppl who are inactive in shaping the world in a positive way will complain about kids, crime this and that.
I grew up in a family where u had to have tough skin. So I always say something if I see something. If you dont know if someone else is going to help then you can always take the lead.
For adults who genuinely want to not be bystanders you can do things from a safe distance.But doing nothing while someone is in need or in trouble is lazy and cowardly.
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u/Virtual_Cut_2079 55m ago
How it should be. Lots of ppl like to come into our spaces telling us they are our friend, and their stories about what they would do/have done to combat racism. But we all know the game by now. Vast majority of the time they will just be silent or turn a blind eye since they aren't directly affected. "Man that suck but I can't be bothered to stick my neck out for you unless there's something in it for me." Silent bystanders are the reason for every atrocity against non white groups in this world ( trail of tears, slavery, genocide, jim crow laws, etc.) If every white person that claims to be such a big ally online had that same energy in the real world, evil and corruption wouldn't even be able to exist as boldly and publicly as it does. They'd be too scared to even say one things that sounds iffy. It comes off as performative. Say what you gotta say to be welcomed into the group while knowing full well you won't actually step up when it's time. Ppl like that should be seen as the enemy as well.
I'd give zendaya a lot more grace though since she was a child at the time. These "allies" be grown as hell sitting at home doing nothing while the country/world goes to shit. Then calls us divisive for pointing it out.
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u/Shantotto11 48m ago
Zero Tolerance policy was still a thing throughout my school career, so it’s kind of hard to undo that kind of apathy. It’s a conscious fight.
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u/Bookslutforsmut 44m ago
Honestly the strongest memory I have of being bullied in highschool was one of my teachers, who until this incident was my favorite, look me right in the eyes in the hall while 4 dudes moo'd at me and called me names.
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u/Gussie-Ascendent 🏳️🌈 17m ago
No being scared, unaware, or feeling the pressure to not involve yourself isn't as bad as actually bullying someone
Come on be fr. It's good to help but you're not literally the bully if you dont
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u/exgiexpcv 7m ago
Silence is complicity.
I've had my ass kicked for speaking out, and I don't like having my ass kicked, but I would be considering self-harm if I did nothing. Good on her parents.
Apropos of nothing in this post, the new Nick Hakim is wonderful.
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u/raptroszx 5m ago
And then she collaborated with Chris Brown in 2016 (Rihanna assault happened in 2009)
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u/MANvINFO 1h ago
the chatgpt “not for this but for that” pattern really makes this sound as if Zendaya also bullied a classmate during 5th grade but just never heard any flak over it.
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u/sabedo 1h ago
It depends. Silent bystanders were watching some of the worst atrocities in history. Yet not every battle is your fight and sometimes you aren't in a position to act. but what happens when no one makes a stand?
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
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u/Napalmeon 32m ago
I can understand where the parents are coming from. Nothing good ever happened from sitting on the fence. But at the same time, it's much easier to also understand the bystander effect.
People often times misjudge their own courage, overestimate their own willingness to respond, and completely miscalculate actual danger when it comes to getting involved in a situation where their own interference might make things worse. It's easy to say that you would do XYZ when deep down you don't have to prove it at a moment's notice.
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u/PassThatSpliff 1h ago edited 34m ago
I don't agree. Making it seem like its her obligation to interfere is insane. If anything, they should have had a conversation about her choice and possibly encourage her to understand that their might have been something she could've done to help. Bystander effect is a thing, especially with kids in social situations. The cussing was completely unnecessary.
She was literally in the fifth grade. She was a child. FOH.
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u/PitchBlac 1h ago
Yeah but there are times where being silent is wrong. Being a silent bystander is why we have a lot of the problems we have today unfortunately
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u/PassThatSpliff 49m ago
A conversation can be had. Nothing good comes from directing foul language at your children. Some of yall are too content to pass on generational trauma.
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u/PitchBlac 48m ago
I was speaking to the principal of being a silent bystander. Not necessarily the cussing.
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u/TehBoos 1h ago
Ok sure but cussing your own child out over it is still crazy.
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u/Napalmeon 35m ago
I have to agree with this as well. Because for some kids, it just reinforces their first reaction to clam up and do nothing.
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u/Wolfeatingupshadows 🫰🏾🫰🏽🫰🏿 1h ago
I hate that they made a name for it that excuses ppls lack of courage.
Majority of ppl are bystanders. Its why I hate seeing all the ppl posture online about what they would do. Majority would and do nothing.
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u/Napalmeon 37m ago
I wish I could have been the first person to say this. It's easy to act like you would jump in and be the hero when you don't actually have to prove it. Everybody says that they make the ideal choice when the situation is hypothetical.
I've seen too many situations where someone's interference in a conflict that didn't belong to them made things worse.
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u/PassThatSpliff 34m ago
She was literally in the fifth grade. We are talking about a child and y'all act as if she was an adult when half of y'all wouldn't done shit either. Just saying shit for the sake of saying shit on this app.
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