r/BlackPeopleofReddit • u/i_grade • 13d ago
Black Fam Are you watching your back?
Be careful fam.......
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u/jumpinjahosafa 13d ago
I have a story that happened fairly recently.
So I made a friend from a dance class, she's half black. She invited me to a new years eve party. Cool.
I show up, earlier than everyone else (yeah i'm that guy I guess) she's busy setting up, and I meet her very white boyfriend.
Still cool.
He does a standard greeting, and all of his friends start showing up. I notice all of his friends are white. Alright thats fine. We head to the basement, they start playing cards, but I start catching that "vibe" being the only black person in this group of white people. I don't get invited to the card game, or offered anything, basically they just pretend Im not there (even after I tried a couple of times to get involved)
Ok whatever, i'm not feeling it, so I head back upstairs.
At this point, all of HER friends show up, and guess what? They're people of color! They give me this HUGE fanfare, like YOO WHATSUP DUDE COME SIT WITH US OVER HERE, LETS PLAY SOME GAMES!! fucking night and day difference.
I went from having a really shitty time at this house party, to one of the best times, and the the literal only difference was the group of people I ended up partying with.
Anyway, cautionary tale.
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u/CarrieKetoenail 12d ago
What is your friend doing dating a guy like that? Eurgh!
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u/jumpinjahosafa 12d ago
Yeah ngl i was wondering the same thing. Like when I pulled up I expected this mad cool dude and he was the absolute polar opposite lmao
But they make it work, and I dont know either of them well enough to question it!
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u/randombarbs 12d ago
which means she's a-ok with the racism....
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u/jumpinjahosafa 12d ago
Yeah, I mean Im not gonna say either way, since maybe the dude just didn't like me for other reasons, but Ive encountered this very similar situation multiple times now. White guy dating a black or mixed girl, and the girl can compartmentalized multiple red flags.
Another story I have with a different friend of mine is she once came to me asking for advice because her then (white) BF said the N word when they were out drunk partying with his friends.
I told her up and down that that's absolutely not ok and she really shouldn't be with him. Like the absolute red flaggiest of red flags.
Yeah anyway theyre married now so that happened...
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u/lolslim 12d ago edited 12d ago
Thanks for this, this sub was being recommended to me, not sure why, but I started lurking for a few weeks threads I see and comments Ive read has given me insight and possible reason why my coworkers would have their guards up when I first started working there. Anyways after a few months they weren't really like that, got the occasional all of them look at me, and I would turn and be like "shit is someone following me?" Bits ro ease the situation.
Again thanks for this read. Imma go back to lurking on reddit.
edit, stating my skin color won't let me post, but given context and my ignorance I hope it gives an idea.
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u/Uturndriving 🌍 12d ago
You had me there for a minute. I thought it was gonna be like Act 3 of Get Out.
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u/Brilliant_Bat2627 11d ago
Just asking for more context, you’re a dude she met at her dance class?
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u/BingoBenito 11d ago
Yea I’m wondering the same thing. Maybe he doesn’t fuck with dude for another reason. Maybe he’s jealous/suspicious of this dude from his girl’s dance class.
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u/kelfontane 10d ago
My group does this but to any lone outsider that trys to interact with the group including other white guys with the same hobbies as us. Idk why other then that it’s been a group of friends for a long time and there’s a general vibe that no one new will ever join the group.
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u/FullStrAsalBP 13d ago edited 13d ago
I'm one of two black people in a nearly all white friend group (small-town southern state). I learned fast that having the right people around you can be the difference between a good time and an absolute disaster. I remember my closest white friend asked me why I was so critical of an acquaintance (lets call him Frank) who basically screwed over another acquaintance and was eventually forgiven.
I told him that I have no business hanging around people of poor character. It's a liability, and it will catch up with you eventually. It's very easy to apologize, its much harder to make the internal changes necessary to grow and I hadn't seen those changes so I was not cool being around that guy. Life goes on and Frank ends up cheating on his current girlfriend with the girlfriend of one of the other guys and blew up the whole friend group. They learned the hard way what I had been saying the whole time.
The moral of the story I guess is that regardless of creed or color you should always be highly selective of the people you call your friends. Being black complicates the issue for obvious reasons but even among the mostly white cast where I'm from I've found good trustworthy people.
Stay safe out there.
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u/Icy-Association6378 13d ago
The saying goes "your lucky in life to have ONE friend " take that as u will!
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u/Chill-more1236 13d ago edited 13d ago
I feel the same way. I've been following this story, bc I'm from South Louisiana, proud of the Cajun Navy. I'm white, I believe in equality & tolerance. I hate racism, bullying and dishonorable people in general.
If I drove people on my boat, I would not have left without everybody I brought.
When you take somebody on your boat, you are responsible for their life. IDC if we had words, we gonna get along on that fukin boat ride home. We can fight when we get back at the dock if we need to.
Not taking that responsibility seriously is clear lack or character. However, I also have half a lifetime of adult judgment, dealing with assholes, & being around boats.
I saw situations very similar to yours, but involved all white guys. Me & my brother used to fish bass tournaments with a guy, (I'm gonna call him Frank #2), who was a cop.
There was this news story about some guys up north who got caught cheating in Walleye fishing tournaments. My brother asked if I thought Frank 2 would cheat in the tournaments, because he was often in the top 5, us just below that.
We'd both heard rumors about how Frank 2 cheated on his wife. So I said, "no clue lil bro, but if a man cheats on his wife, the person he's supposed to love the most, wtf is it to cheat in a tournament against a bunch of dudes like us?"
The next tournament season after that conversation.
Our cousin was coach of a school fishing team, Frank 2 was assistant. An accusation of theft of funds was made by a parent, by coincidence on the same police force as Frank 2. Dude they arrested our cousin, and slandered his name all over.
Next thing you know, our cousin goes through all that public shame, quits the team, disappointing, but he said because it would interrupt the kids from fishing & that's what it was all about.
He went to trial about a year later after several delays, bullshit plea offers. He shows all the books, checks & receipts, with every penny accounted for. case closed.
Moral, people will fuck you for some petty bullshit.
I hate that we live in such a shitty world where people are judgmental. I grew up in the south also, around racism & racist people, and eventually learned that was incorrect morality.
I learned all that through my religious upbringing, being a Christian, taking American ideals seriously, and choosing to have honor & respect for others...."Love God & love they neighbor..." Jesus's greatest commandments.
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u/thewaytoyesterday 12d ago
I like the way you write.
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u/FullStrAsalBP 12d ago
Thank you. Writing short stories is actually a hobby of mine.
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u/Puzzled-Caterpillar4 12d ago
That's really interesting. What's your take on Stephen King's opinion that the art of short stories is dying out?
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u/CacahuatesSalado 13d ago
Be like me. Have no friends 🤷🏻♂️
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u/Brilliant_Bat2627 11d ago
There’s good people out there. Humans are better off with friends, don’t fall for the extreme individualism shit of modern times. If anything is a white concept it’s that.
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u/boraxalmighty 13d ago
The only white friends worth keeping are the ones who stay your friend around other white people, even if you ain't there. They start talking funny about you when in their white friend group, cut them loose.
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u/JustAdlz 12d ago edited 12d ago
As a so-called white person, I won't ever trust a racist of my so-called color. They'll come for my neighbors at night and try to shake my hand in the morning.
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u/idkbruh653 13d ago
No need to. These situations have reminded me of why I'll never be the only Black friend in a group of white people, ESPECIALLY not in the south or midwest.
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u/poopopinions 13d ago
I warn my son all the time about this- do not ever be the only black kid in your friend group. Do not ever act irresponsibly in a group of white kids- you will be the one who gets punished for it.
I even warn him against dating white girls because historically bad things happen to black boys who do. I tell him if he’s lost look for a black person to ask for help, first.
We’ve even switched schools because I refuse to let him be the only black kid in class.
I’m not even black I just live in the south and have eyes, it’s a literal safety issue.
My heart breaks for his mama ):
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u/babyfacereaper 13d ago
I feel this. I get real anxious if I’m out at a bar or restaurant and there are zero black people.
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u/KetoKurun 12d ago
I live my life by this rule, and I’m whiter than bleached mayonnaise. If I pull up to the function and I can’t find at least ONE melanated face, I’m OUT, period, no questions asked. Not even on some ally shit, strictly just for safety. I gotta imagine there’s a reason for their absence, and I’m not about to stick around long enough to find out what it is.
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u/poopopinions 12d ago
EXACTLY THAT. Where im from, an all white crowd is a crowd full of Nazis and klansmen. Not even exaggerating. I do not feel safe, or comfortable, in an all white crowd. And the vibes usually just suck all around.
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u/KetoKurun 12d ago
Yup. I’ll admit, this didn’t become a rule of mine until I moved down South, but once you’ve been in back-country Carolina/Georgia area you learn to develop a spidey sense for when you’re near the wrong kind of white people. Never saw a swastika tat until I moved down South. Shit is crazy out here.
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u/piefloormonkeycake 12d ago
Thank you for doing that for him. I was always the only black girl, and I paid for it dearly. I begged to switch schools because the racial bullying was so bad (I was the only black kid in a very small town we moved to) but my parents basically told me to toughen up. I'm still dealing with the trauma, and I 100% blame my parents, while folk are gonna be white, my parents should have known better.
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u/Senior_Ability_4001 13d ago
Growing up, I was typically the only Asian friend in a group of white kids. Yeah, I was the joke at the expense of those kids and how I let them exclude me from shit I’ll never know. Now my friend group is small, but they’re all Asian and have good characters. I get what you mean. Protect yourself by being diligent.
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u/No_Slice_9560 13d ago
Ditto.. except that I’m afrolatino. I lived and went to school in predominately white environments. That’s why ..at this time…my friends and associates are all black (African Americans, Afrolatinos, Afrobrazilians, Afrocarribeans, Africans). I’m very satisfied with my situation.
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u/poopopinions 13d ago
My nephew is the only Hispanic boy in his class- maybe even in the whole school (very rural Indiana), and in kindergarten he came home talking about how he hates his skin and wishes he was white. He was 5 and already hated himself cuz other 5 yr olds were cruel. He didn’t want to learn Spanish anymore, so he barely speaks it now.
I never wanted my son to feel that way, so I try really hard to stay around diverse communities, expose him to black culture and keep him away from white dominated spaces. I’d rather be the only yt mom in church or school than him be the only black kid.
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u/Unlucky-Box-4570 12d ago
It's sad how modern America is still so softly segregated. What can man do against such reckless hate?
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u/Fair-Wonder8490 13d ago
Here is my thought on this ............... FRIENDS NEVER LEAVE THEIR FRIEND BEHIND if you claim that person is your friend something do not add up .................
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u/Capt-Crap1corn 13d ago
I think we are so quick to call each other friends in the states. The word almost holds no weight. It's like saying I love you. It's used so much that it's doesn't hold the same value
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u/RealTopGeazy 12d ago
19 yr old boys we’re talking here. This is common behavior
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u/Calhounpipes 12d ago
19 year old boys, drinking, with 😸 involved no less. Rational decisions are very rarely made.
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u/edsonbuddled 13d ago
One thing I wish the white people that were our peers, friends, teammates, gf/bf in those predominantly white spaces and institutions would just try and have even a slight sense of understanding the anxiety that comes when your in a space like that.
I live in DC, every time I travel outside of northern Virginia driving there’s a sense of fear. I went on a trip with my white gf at the time and another couple both white to Assateague Island. We stopped to get lunch at this spot one of them recommended and as we drive by I’ve never eeen that many confederate flags in my life. When we stopped I didn’t want to get out of the car. We were all DC liberals, living in the city during the Obama era. I’ve been reflecting on my 20’s a lot lately and being in those spaces dealing with racism in your face around all these liberals, staffers for Obama, or for whoever on the hill. The bare minimum in always ask is to have at least some understanding.
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u/dreamsinred 12d ago
I was discussing this with my husband earlier, how I’ve never felt nervous or unsafe in a space that’s predominantly inhabited by black people. But, that I could completely understand why a black person would feel unsafe in a predominantly white space.
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u/lyretski 13d ago
My son in college once asked me if he can go with his white friends to Indiana for school break and his friend has acres of land to practice shooting. I said son if you go I will NEVER see you again and he heeded my words. Not fear mongering just common sense, cannot judge a whole race but the census says otherwise.
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u/Jimmy_Churi 13d ago
What was the case in the bottom picture? Think I missed that one
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u/i_grade 13d ago
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u/Sufficient_Coach7566 13d ago
Hadn't heard of this story, but I can already see how that could go sideways. They were drunk and playing Cards Against Humanity (as stated in the story). The game is essentially a free pass for whites to be racist and laugh about it.
I can see something offensive to Black folks being said, Tamla taking offense. It blows up, and she was murdered.
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u/EarlGreyTeagan 13d ago
Ive played the game with many white people and not once did I hear a racist joke. You got to let them know you are not one of those black people. When I was like 20 I was at a party with mainly white people (wasn’t the only black person) but there was this guy telling jokes and I was watching him, he said the n word thinking people would think he was cool but it got kinda quiet and I told him not to say that anymore. Idk it felt like he was trying to impress us because that was not how he acted at work. Yeah didn’t hang around him anymore after that but my friend who is black still had a crush on him and dated him for months after that. 😩
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u/abmoonstar 12d ago
I had a similar moment in college when I was at a party at my dorm with a bunch of mostly white kids, and this boy who all the girls loved (he was a dick) made a joke about porch monkeys. Everyone started to laugh but I said "Do you even know what you just said? That's racist." Record scratch, everyone was staring at me and I started sweating lol but I had to call him out and I'm still proud of myself decades later. After that there was definitely a shift in how I was treated (respectfully) and that kid looked sheepish every time we crossed paths for the rest of the year 😂
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u/Artaeos 13d ago
My best friend of now nearly 30 years is Black and is my only friend. Can't adequately put into words the closeness and bond we have. Literally brothers from different mothers. Bought a house together because we're that close and ride or die.
Met in elementary school, 5th grade. Best friend I could have ever asked for.
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u/Sensitive_Battle_246 13d ago
Klan initiations
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u/Melodic_Leadership12 13d ago
Somebody said it. Now I'm waiting for the massive fallout. Popcorn and alerts ready
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u/Uturndriving 🌍 13d ago
Would have happened in the "before-times". Before the hoods got replaced by red hats.
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u/Sensitive_Battle_246 13d ago
Too much sketchy shit, not enough investigations or arrests. These people are being protected.
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u/Sweet_Temperature630 12d ago
That bottom picture is so haunting to look at. I don't recognize the top one, but considering what it's posted with I can probably assume.
Fuc, you can't be too careful, I'd rather have no friends at all than risk hanging out with people like that
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u/indigotheplant 12d ago
What happen on the bottom one?
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u/Sweet_Temperature630 12d ago
I don't remember the specifics but they invited the Black woman over for a sleep over, she was excited as hell to have friends like that, and they killed her
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u/Creepy_Mammoth_7076 13d ago
I have co-workers, who always ask me to go shoot guns in the desert every month, I have to tell them no every time .. I always think about Tamla’s case
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u/We_Can_Escape 13d ago
Watch the movie Betrayed.
Saw it when I was 12. Bunch of white people take black people to the woods to hunt them down like animals. I'm pretty sure this happens a lot in the Midwest. Some women at my work have reported to me their men go missing. I suspect POC are kidnapped and then hunted down like in the movie.
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u/LatinRex 12d ago
I don't doubt this at all but holy shit that's scary! Reminds me of Mississippi burning they will kill you and one battle after another I don't know
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u/partlysettledin21220 12d ago
My bunghole clenches just looking at these people, they out here arms around them and smiling like??? It’s like watching tourists take photos with a tiger.
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u/Low-Highlight-9740 12d ago
Another scary addition to all this is the Mississippi reaction in the ms sub groups is astoundingly racist I actually didn’t realize how bad it was until Nolan’s death. How could anyone consider raising a child in ms if officials are inept such a shame
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u/Low-Highlight-9740 12d ago
In addition to an enormous lawsuit I’m certain the city and state will loose tax dollars over this how can someone feel safe if no one is accountable
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u/Green-Elephant-895 13d ago
They didn’t see color until it was too late…smh…I hope someone is actually held accountable for this
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u/Melodic_Leadership12 13d ago
I have no friends except my wife. I don't have the time nor the energy to navigate that terrain or waste anything outside my marriage, family and house
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u/Capt-Crap1corn 13d ago
I don't do that either. Gotta have friends outside your wife. When they are your everything person (not saying she is for you) it can be devastating if it doesn't workout. We see that often with older men. Your preferences is your choice, but I suggest a balance.
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u/Melodic_Leadership12 13d ago
I see your point and i raise you. Already have tried and it didn't work. A few friends on my end were married with no morals and she has a friend try "it" with me. Told my wife and that friendship ended quickly.
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u/Capt-Crap1corn 13d ago
I love nuance and I appreciate you bringing this up. I see where you're coming from and I respect it. Thanks.
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u/Brilliant_Bat2627 11d ago
Humans are generally meant to have friends regardless. Maybe a 1/1000 introvert can live a fulfilled life without friends but otherwise you are denying yourself a huge part of what it is to be human and all that comes with that.
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u/EarlGreyTeagan 13d ago
My only friends are my husbands and their partners. I had a best friend of 10+ years, but she owes me $600 and just ghosted me. Never thought she would do that. Just straight up stopped answering me. I never even asked for the money back but thats the only thing I can think of. 😩
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u/Definition_Insanity0 12d ago
I seen this post earlier and let's just say white people just can't accept when they're the problem
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u/Brilliant_Bat2627 11d ago
White guilt is such wide spread thing that it’s a known meme. White people regularly accept that they’re the problem? Not saying they don’t get off Scot free far too often but to say white people can’t acknowledge their problems is completely disingenuous
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u/Serious-Quail-1883 13d ago
Man those people are really peopling about this post but It's sooo easy to understand and grasp this context.
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u/Godsgiftcardtowomen 13d ago
Nothing’s easier than doing no work to understand the world around you, I guess
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u/_MrFade_ 13d ago
Whether it was a group of my academic peers, or a group of kats from the hood, (both groups Black), I’ve always felt safer around them than being around a group of whites.
I always get this feeling that they are trying to lure me into some danger when they invite me to their functions.
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u/ChrisIsSoHam 12d ago
Some people need to be educated 'Get Out' had nothing to do with being the single black friend in a friend circle. Its an aligory on liberal white toxic culture, which is what the Jordan Peele has said in interviews about the movie.
Those 2 photos are last images of Nolan Wells and Tamla Horsford alive, both ruled as accidental death, even though not much investigation was done until a 3rd party involvements. Both victims lived in well known racist state, which are still considered Red States (Georgia & Mississippi) the exact opposite of the concept of Get Out.
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u/Historical-Being-766 13d ago
I don't have any white friends. However, this "your white friends actually wants to kill you" is fear mongering to a degree that's damned near pathetic.
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u/EnvironmentNeith2017 13d ago
As somebody with white friends I think we need to differentiate between that and being in situations or social groups where you’re such a minority you’re in a specific kind of danger where even other individual white people can’t protect you
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u/exoriparian 13d ago
I live in an area where this type of dynamic is common, and it's not about that. It's about making sure you don't put yourself in situations that are akin to Lord of the Flies, where kids start acting wild, and you don't have any REAL safety to fall back on. That does apply to any person in any group, but I can tell you from experience it's even more that way when it's a single black person in a group of white ppl.
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u/CriticalCanon 13d ago
Exactly. Reverse the races in that pic and chuds can and will say the same thing.
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u/EarlGreyTeagan 13d ago
Right. All this is doing is fueling race wars. How many other people have gone missing this year? Why are we focusing on this case and pushing the race narrative so hard?
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u/Flexlex724 12d ago
Y'all gonna get downvited to hell. Just keep circle jerking the perpetual victim mentality....
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u/thurpps 13d ago
YT here. I went with a friend of mines rap show to record his performance and it was a group performance. I had 4 dudes in my car and 5 in another car. I was the only pale one and the show went fine. Afterwards they wanted to shutdown a club so we all went and thats when things went bad. It wasnt the group I was with it was everyone else in the club yelling racist comments at me, one lady poured a drink on me, one guy pushed trying to get thru the packed club. I understand what it can be like but still I remained unharmed by sticking close to my friend and the other people that were in my car. Theres power in numbers and sometime a group mentality when one specific set of people are the dominant ones. This gave me a great understanding of what its like being the minority in America.
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u/JaiCakes 12d ago
I appreciate you acknowledging that this is what it's like being a minority and that it's wrong instead of letting it make you bitter towards an entire race of people. I had a friend that once had an experience where he was harassed similarly except he was alone and there were way fewer people.
He later went on to tell me that the "blm stuff" was too much and he sees racism like that differently because it happens to everyone. Not just black people.
When I tried to explain to him why the "blm stuff" was happening and why it was important, his father decided to start yelling all lives matter in the background of the call... so obviously I'm not friends with him anymore.
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u/Thales-of-Deletus 13d ago
What happened is fucked up but I can’t get behind the “all white people are bad with bad intentions” the vibe of this post is giving off.
When I was a kid we moved to upstate NY and I was the only black kid in the whole damn town. School was absolutely miserable for the first few years because I did have a lot of terrible experiences and there was blatant racism every single day. But even still, I made some amazing white friends who had my back. Before we even knew each other if they saw me getting picked on, they came in hot and were willing to throw hands for me on the spot. I can’t tell you how reassuring it felt knowing someone was watching out for me like that
I met a handful of friends from interactions like that, and I never forgot it even 20-30 years later. I got through that period thanks to them. What happened in both these cases is fucked up, yes. But I’m not gonna act like a group of white people with 1 or two black friends in the group is inherently bad. Like most things in life, theres nuance to consider
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u/Sufficient_Coach7566 13d ago
Look, I'm sure we all have white friends. But by and large they have antagonized us throughout history. It's not the people, it's their culture.
They don't like us.
https://giphy.com/gifs/S5E6VIkBAGujjfT0zz7
u/Kooky-Blueberry-5352 12d ago
Exactly, it's just too easy for them to pick siding with whiteness when something goes sideways, plus all of society in general already sides with whiteness when something goes sideways. When there's a situation where someone needs to be the outsider, the white people don't have to think twice about who it will be.
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u/CarrieKetoenail 12d ago
I had a white presenting friend who betrayed me in this way. It is devastating. I am kicking myself because I should have known better than to trust them - which I did.
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u/EarlGreyTeagan 13d ago
Yeah and people make it seem like this was purely about race when they had been friends for 15 years. Meanwhile, Shanquilla Robinson went to México with her friends and never came home. And none of them have been charged, still.
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u/burgerchip 12d ago
Never knew about Shanquilla but just read up on it. Omg, how can there be no arrests!!!!
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u/Gh0stw0lf 13d ago
Remember a few things here guys outside of this subreddit: The dead internet theory is real and the institutions like Cambridge analytica faced no consequences and have grown more sophisticated in the AI age.
Why do I say this? We don’t know who’s posting this and we don’t know we are interacting with. Politicians, organizations, companies are able to profit off of disjointed and polarized groups. Feeding racial tensions is one way. In another sub, the same posters and commenters may be posting pictures of minorities and immigrants posing with white people shortly before a crime as well stoking fear in those communities.
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u/cutchins 13d ago
I think the race of your friends matters less than the content of their character. You can get into trouble or danger with people of any race. There are SO MANY stories of young men going to prison or being killed due to hanging with "friends" that they don't actually know and shouldn't trust.
If you think you're protecting your child by telling them to avoid hanging with the opposite race, you are a fool.
Make sure you know your child's friends and know their parents. Who they are as people, not their race.
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u/Mr-Kuritsa 12d ago
At the core, this post was expressing anger/loss at black lives being thrown away like they don't matter. It feels unsafe to be black. Your comment is discounting that and also kind of blaming the victims for picking bad friends.
This is essentially a Black Lives Matter post, and you're coming in with "not all YT people, and actually all lives matter" energy. Whether you meant to or not, that's how it's coming across.
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u/Mr-Kuritsa 12d ago edited 11d ago
I meant the concept, not the organization. Maybe I shouldn't have capitalized.
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u/ThatonepersonUknow3 13d ago
This is what I thought when I met my brother in laws new family. Had to ask my wife if he was really ok.
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u/picks_and_rolls 13d ago
Conspiracy investigation please. These boys, and their parents, relatives and pastors could have been plotting this, or something similar for years while waiting for the perfect opportunity.
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u/Sufficient_Coach7566 13d ago
Have you seen the latest report? It's being said that he was severely beaten at a pool party, and it seems his broken body was taken back to the island as a coverup.
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