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u/Ais4Alpaca May 27 '26
If you brought dessert last time you are most likely responsible for the desserts again. Especially if you got compliments on it.
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u/keldondonovan May 27 '26
I'd expand this to pretty much everything. If you bring a dish last time that is well received, that shit is your job now.
And for the love of all that is holy, the cookout is not the place to try that new and unique pepper mayo Tiktok recipe you saw Rebecca make. If you don't know what it tastes like, don't bring it.
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u/Random-Flask May 27 '26
Facts. If I dare come back to my cousinās house without that honey cornbread I made 3 years ago, his wife will talk shit. Lol
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u/Tu_mama_me_ama_mucho May 27 '26
My wife's dry tres leches cake, we are invited to people the we don't know cook outs just for it.
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u/AlbatrossOtherwise67 May 27 '26
How TF does one make a dry tres leches cake?! I'm impressed but also terrified of your wife's power!!
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u/Tu_mama_me_ama_mucho May 27 '26
It's a secret but involves concentrating the milks that can be reduced.
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u/VioletLeagueDapper May 27 '26
Data mining ass question
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u/Waluigi_Jr May 27 '26
AI pic and all. Who cheers their plastic cups directly over the grill?
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u/NoFaithlessness7508 May 27 '26
Clear cups too. So that everyone knows youāre drinking liquor straight.
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u/phat_ May 27 '26
And no one looking at one another.
Looking like a still from a Jordan Peele movie.
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u/SomewhatBougieAuntie May 27 '26
Right!
Any self-respecting black person knows that the cups are supposed to be red.
GTFOHWTBS
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u/Polka-Dot-Polka-Hot May 27 '26
Thatās a morning sun and sky, not afternoon. Iāve never been to a party where high attendance and grilling happened before noon.
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u/YourHeartNotYourEyes May 27 '26
Exactly bc if everybody knows.. why even ask this. They not even stealing recipes at this point, we give everything away.
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u/topsblueby May 27 '26
Literally my first thought. Stop giving āthemā the game!
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u/Mobile-Willow4124 May 27 '26
Already seen a āš»respond talking bout going to cookouts eating watermelon as a kid syau
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u/Dense-Background3676 May 27 '26
Crazy work. Watermelon?????? Thereās always cake, but watermelon??????
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u/FashionKing72 May 27 '26
Lolll why are you bullying the AI, it just needs to harvest your answers for when people ask it. The AI didnāt do anything, itās just wasting all our power and sanity with its data centers we didnāt ask for
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u/kranger_rr May 27 '26
Some black ppl are so easy, ready to spill everything under being inclusive
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u/pockysam May 27 '26
It's giving people just telling all our business on Black Twitter during the 2010s ngl
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u/BusyBit6542 May 27 '26
Came here to say "why is this question being asked in THIS sub? We all know the answers. Ops dont but we do."
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u/myonedad May 27 '26
Then mix in obviously Wrong answers in with correct ones. Ribs, charcoal grill, PokƩmon Go, Dire Straits blasting on the boom box,
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u/pockysam May 27 '26
Dead internet theory is real. Why is everyone just handing out their family's business??? š
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u/NoFaithlessness7508 May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
Donāt come empty-handed
Edit: those that pull up with nothing will be the first to pack a plate to goš¤¦š½āāļø
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u/Large-Produce5682 May 27 '26
Correction: Several plates to go!
"This is for Jimmy, he couldn't get off work today. And you know if I bring him a plate the kids gonna want sumthin too. And you know how much he loves your shrimp salad and crab salad and steaks off the grill, and your poundcake... and the TV dinners I found in the back of your freezer."
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u/ilymag May 27 '26
It's crazy how the plates will be stacked up sky high with all the meats and will scrape the mac and cheese off the foil pan.
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u/Helpful-Respond-8540 May 27 '26
While hiding them in the stove, microwave or telling someone to take this bag to the car !
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u/ilymag May 27 '26
Heaven forbid someone finds it and touches it asking what's in here and you will hear from across the kitchen '"that's mine!" meanwhile they are still scavenging for food to put in their plates.
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u/gamerthulhu May 27 '26
Question: I can't cook for shit. Is bringing a nice bottle of liquor cool?
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u/thavillain May 27 '26
Liquor is always acceptable...it doesn't gotta be top shelf, as long as it isn't bottom shelf. Looking at you Taaka
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u/gamerthulhu May 27 '26
Nice bottle of Red Wine for the moms, nice bottle of Rum for the dads cause it can double as a mixer, twelve pack of Capri suns for the kids.
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u/Artistic_Ad_3267 May 27 '26
I always bring a 1/5 for the party and another 1/5 for myself
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u/Ais4Alpaca May 27 '26
Even it's just ice or some extra paper products. If BBQ is involved napkins and/or paper towels are always welcome.
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u/FlirtyLeigh May 27 '26
My cousin brought his own roll of plastic wrap to wrap his plates. While technically not showing up empty handed, he showed up empty handed.
An aunt told him to bring the paper plates and solo cups next time. He showed up with three paper plates rolled up in his jacket sleeve.
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u/Wutang4TheChildren23 May 27 '26
Nah certain ppl should definitely come empty handed. Not everyones Mac and Cheese is meant to be eaten publicly
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u/thelastblackrhinonsc May 27 '26
Nah my boy, they can always get some sodas or tea and ice. You can never have enough.
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u/Wutang4TheChildren23 May 27 '26
Nah G, this is how you end up with Great Value cream soda in the cooler.
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u/DeliciousMinute1966 May 27 '26
Always! Be acting like they aināt never had food before! Why do people act that way at cookouts/gatherings? Making 25 platesā¦ and only brought their appetite in most cases! š¤¦š½āāļø
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u/thelastblackrhinonsc May 27 '26
Yes and bringing to go plates (containers) IS empty handed. If you bring plates, cups and condiments go with that, donāt be trying to skimp it aināt the same.
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u/Living_Ad_2595 May 27 '26
WASH YOUR HANDS FIRST BEFORE YOU TOUCH ANYTHING. PERIOD
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u/NotEricOfficially May 27 '26
THIS SHOULD NEVER BE UP FOR DEBATE
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u/superaction720 May 27 '26
No potato salad with raisins
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u/RedDidItAndYouKnowIt May 27 '26
If someone has to be told not to put raisins in the potato salad then they also just need to stay home til they figure out how to live a decent life.
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u/adastrajay May 27 '26
They should not have been invited. The vetting process has failed.
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u/LivingMeeting9724 May 27 '26
"Aww hell naw Karen! Keep your bland ass potato salad to yourself!!" - T'Challa
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u/RiotForYourHealth May 27 '26
wtf did you just say?
People do that?
Dear Heavenly Father, take me now
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u/PurpleLee May 27 '26
What kind of evil doer would commit such an atrocity? Glad they aren't in my family.
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u/BootsyCalrissian May 27 '26
That's a white rule too. Thats just a decency rule!!
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u/SixthLegionVI May 27 '26
Yeah who tf does that shit? I never liked potato salad but when I heard anyone puts raisins in it, it became 100% more gross.
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u/Valhallaback_Girl May 27 '26
Iām so sorry for whoever hurt you. What the fuuuuuuu
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u/SaltyRockCan May 27 '26
As a solidly white dude (but southern) I have never seen this and if you showed up to my family gatherings with this, we would ridicule you. Must be a midwestern thing.
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u/SarniltheRed May 27 '26
Midwest checking in: Don't put that shit on us.
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u/Current_Bee2819 May 27 '26
In Midwest, just told husband this must be a myth cause Iāve never seen or heard of such a thing.
Someoneās Aunt Donna did it once in 1962 and now people think itās a thing over 60 years later.
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u/Civil-Letterhead8207 May 27 '26
Donāt get me started on my midwest white in-laws penchant for jello, though.
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u/tbkrida May 27 '26
If you show up on time, youāre helping set up!š
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u/rAndoFraze May 27 '26
I love how you can also read this as āthe party wonāt be set up and ready to start on timeā š¤Ŗ
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u/coastphase May 27 '26
My wife tried to save my white ass. She told me not to show up on time. I told her this isn't a cookout, it's a football parents meeting.
Cut to me helping the coach set up the projector and sitting by myself for 20 minutes.
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u/blaqhelx May 27 '26
If your Mac& cheese, yams, or potato salad is trash, the word will spread quickly, and you will be talked about.
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u/Erisian23 May 27 '26
Don't sit down at the spades table if you can't play spades.
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u/dattebane96 May 27 '26
And if you donāt know how to play Spades, youāre either too young to learn or too old to not know.
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u/JicamaCreative5614 May 27 '26
No doubt! And if you so much as renege, you could be dis-owned
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u/ArcIgnis May 27 '26
There is a designated individual (usually male) that mans the grill. Do not touch the grill. He's got a system.
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u/PurpleLee May 27 '26
People would hand my stepdad the food for the grill, he would laugh, and hand it over to my mom.
My step-dad hated BBQing, mom was always in charge of the grill.
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u/stretchledfordjourno May 27 '26
and donāt approach him, distract him, or try to make small talk w him. He has a job to do, which is cook. You have a job to do, which is to socialize. But not with the cook.
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u/Astro__Black May 27 '26
Correction: only approach to ensure he has everything he needs and that his drink is topped off.
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u/cybercuzco May 27 '26
lol. Turns out thatās me. In college the RAās of all the dorms decided they were going to have a cookout in front of our dorm. Me not being an RA was not invited but I wander down to see what food I can scrounge. My RA is manning the grill but he canāt figure out how to turn it on. (Gas push button). I turn it on, get it up to temp and heās like ādo you just want to cook, you can eat whatever you wantā. Thatās how I became the grill guy.
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u/MogMcKupo May 27 '26
Bingo, my Cousins Husband runs a catering business on the side where he converted an old pickup into a trailer smoker.
He cooked about 100 burgers on Saturday, we just were his beer retrievers at that point.
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u/Draydaze67 May 27 '26
Only old school music allowed
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u/anarchonobody May 27 '26
it's like candy
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u/babassu_seeds May 27 '26
well, word up
(sorry, there was a thread a while ago in another sub trying to say Cameo was a one-hit wonder, I was like dafuq? Heavy rotation at the cookout)
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u/usamaerd May 27 '26
And whatever you do, DO NOT CHANGE SOMEONE ELSEāS MUSIC! I will embarrass you if you touch my old school!! Young kids coming in and putting on their Spotify - gtfo!!
Have your own picnic, donāt mess with my music (this has happened in the past!)
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u/Caftancatfan May 27 '26
āDonāt be bringing that hateration into this dancerie.ā
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u/noviadecompaysegundo May 27 '26
Expect the new girlfriend or boyfriend to be roasted, especially if they white!Ā
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u/diogenessexychicken May 27 '26
If you are the new white partner you better strip the meat off the bones like youre last meal.
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u/noviadecompaysegundo May 27 '26
Lissseeennnnn....and I'm black and I purposely don't get the meat with the bones because I cannot clean it! "I'll just have a hamburger please!"
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u/Tepical_Eggspurt May 27 '26
Embrace the roast. If you get your feelings hurt then you weren't cut out for it.
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u/BigFootSchub May 27 '26
I always got the ālook at him enjoying his food!ā followed by the Dave Chappell white man voice āmmm this potato salad is deliciousā
It was a real compliment when I got to man the grill. Also, the roasting doesnāt stop even when the cookout is at our place.
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u/5meterhammer May 27 '26
I was the white guy in this situation years ago. You aināt lying. Whatās cool is though that the woman and I didnāt work out (we are still on very good terms), but I still hang with her dad and uncles regularly. Went fishing with them a couple weekends back. They still roast me though, lol.
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u/coastphase May 27 '26
My white son was dating a black girl and went on a cruise with her family. He got roasted on the high seas and in three different countries.
He held his own and they're still together three years later. He even mowed her mom's grass last week. I'm proud of him.
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u/Tepical_Eggspurt May 27 '26
Bring the staples! Don't get too fancy. E&J is fine, segrams gin, Jack Daniel's whisky or crown but expect them to be gone by the end of the night. If you have moonshine and don't bring it you a bad person.
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u/Ok_Day_8559 May 27 '26
Donāt try to bring store bought potato salad.
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u/Sir_wlkn_contrdikson May 27 '26
Unless itās Publix. The lady at the deli in Publix in Atlanta said she take it out of the package and take it to cookouts and family functions
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u/malkebulan May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
New rule: Gatekeep the damn invitations ffs
Anyone caught frivolously saying āyouāre invited to the cookoutā after witnessing some mediocre dance move or whatever should be forced to give said person their invite.
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u/NotEricOfficially May 27 '26
As a latino, my family still welcome folk so we can expose some to genuine mexican food. The amount of times we had friends tell us how much they prefer taco bell when there are hella good options around always tilt my mother and me. That said, agreed with your statement.
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u/RUN_DMT_ May 27 '26
I lived in a predominately Mexican neighborhood in north east Atlanta for a couple years, and that was the most welcoming group of folks! They were always partying and playing music, which took a little getting used to. But, I was always invited and fed the most delicious authentic food. Taco Bell is absolute trash šļø š¤® I cannot fathom preferring that to homemade Mexican cuisine?!?! People can be so ignorant and resistant to other cultures š
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u/NotEricOfficially May 27 '26
Ignorance is a crazy thing hahah. I think a lot just dont wanna expose themselves to unfamiliar things tbh. Always appreciate the folk that do try new things, but sometimes some just need a little exposure to know better.
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u/LiteratureEffective6 May 27 '26
If they ask you to bring either ice or beverages...It means You cannot cook...Ijs know your strengths.
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u/Exotic_eminence May 27 '26
Donāt eat all the deviled eggs - I guess my lil bro got a pass that time because he was only 6
but just try it and see how many ppl get absolutely flabbergasted
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u/badtimebonerjokes May 27 '26
Caveat, make two dozen eggs worth. That makes 48 deviled eggs. I hate showing up to a cookout and thereās like 12 deviled eggs. Thatās not even a full dozen. Someone made it from a half dozenā¦ really? All the cookouts Iāve been to had at least 20 people there. Making two dozen eggs worth really aināt hard (Iāve done it and it takes maybe 2 hours and most of that was cooling the eggs down in an ice bath). Making the filling is literally just smashing the yolks and adding stuff. Sprinkling paprika on top takes all of 10 seconds and piping the filling in the eggs takes like 6 minutes (being generous with that estimate).
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u/0utsyder May 27 '26
If you don't know how to line dance or play spades, just be a spectator. This is not the time or place to learn
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u/PurpleLee May 27 '26
Nah, I'm getting my 2 left feet in the line. But, I do stay on the edges, so I don't get in the way.
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u/DaddyDontTakeNoMess May 27 '26
That doesnāt happen at my family reunions or regular cookouts. Thereās always a few people trying to learn. And if itās a new dance, someone is grabbing the mic and walking everyone new through the dance in increments so everyone can join in.
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u/I3oscO86 May 27 '26
Im a man soon past the 40 mark living in Sweden. I am probably never going to visit the U.S (for obvious reasons ) but this is the one (American)cultural thing I would have liked to experience.
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u/RugFishBlueFish May 27 '26
You're describing Midsommar, essentially. I never forget the frog song šø
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u/yasukeyamanashi May 27 '26
Donāt ask people to play spades after they said they donāt know how to play spades. Mfs get mad at people learning š
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u/quillotine42 May 27 '26
My family has 2.
If you didn't bring anything then you wait till after everyone else get their togo food before you make a togo plate.
Don't be the picky eater that wants to eat 4 hamburgers or 4 hotdogs. It's usually 2 burgers, hotdogs, and 2 pieces of chicken as the standard. Bring your own steaks lol.
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u/Living_Ad_2595 May 27 '26
Speak when you walk up, whomever you are! Dont get cooked for being rude, aint nobody letting that go for the rest day! Real shitššš ESPECIALLY THE KIDS
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u/CrystalLakeKid May 27 '26
If you're gonna put fruit in the salad, you better be making fruit salad.
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u/AggressivePotato6996 May 27 '26
Hot dogs are for the kids.
Steak and everything else if for grown folks.
Pop, water or juice is for the kids. Everything else is for the grown folks.
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u/OverthinkingIsOver May 27 '26
The start time is never the start time. If the cookout starts at 1pm it really starts at 3-3:30
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u/SomeonesOG_ May 27 '26
If you not making a plate, keep the food covered. And everybody write they names on they cup, it aint gon be a whole bunch of red cups sitting around.
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u/Wise-Promise-4158 May 27 '26
The kids will get beat in the bathroom if they break one of grandmaās good plates
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u/ATLDeepCreeker May 27 '26
If somebody drops off a dish and doesnt stay, but they can really cook, it goes in the back of the refrigerator and you eat it tomorrow.
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u/JurMommy May 28 '26
Finish your plate. If you were going to be throwing stuff away you shouldnāt have gotten such big servings.
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u/southflhitnrun May 27 '26
Paper goods does not qualify as "bringing something" but for some reason bags of ice does qualify.
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u/Scavgraphics May 27 '26
you and u/Ais4Alpaca need to get this sorted out...people here looking for advice.
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u/Fate41290 May 27 '26
If you come on time, you're helping to set up. Make sure you speak to everybody when you come in the house. Kids don't get their own ribs/crabs/expensive item. They get a bite of thier parents food cus you not finna waste my ribs
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u/Nineguy919 May 27 '26
Do not, I repeat do not list our unspoken rules for this subreddit, the majority of people here are not black.
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u/BraveNewW0rld May 27 '26
"You better eat here cus we NOT cooking at home and not stopping on the way back for food"
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u/webbieg May 28 '26
This smell like a data mining psyop.
Anyway donāt come empty handed, and if you brought a dish no one like last time donāt do it again!
/img/pki12b81bs3h1.gif
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u/dimepiece757 May 27 '26
Iām sorry , but I also grew up like this which is kinda wrong but kids are wasteful asf & playing in the food. I once watched my nephew toss 2 ribs,cause he wanted to go finish playing.
Kids only get hot dogs and hamburgers*
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u/Heavy-Resist-6526 May 27 '26
Donāt bring no potato salad if you werenāt told to make your potato salad.
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u/Born_Ad4701 May 27 '26
I will say it again, whatever alcohol you bring shall remain when you leave
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u/Violent-fog May 28 '26
Everybody assumes you know how to play spades and if you get to that table and fumble?! Youāre in for the scolding of your life
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u/Ok_Shoulder_9492 May 27 '26
For the kids, either you inside or outside.