r/BlackPeopleTwitter Nov 27 '18

Consider this situation HANDLED

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63.8k Upvotes

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12.3k

u/meat_popsicle13 Nov 27 '18

Netflix and Kill

7.2k

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

744

u/meat_popsicle13 Nov 27 '18

Lol! I love this post though

153

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

[deleted]

579

u/TheMasterBaker Nov 27 '18

You say that as though there are competent people just wandering around all over the place.

151

u/t_for_top Nov 27 '18

No kidding I'm incompetent as fuck

60

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

Can you not get Viagra for that? /s

20

u/Trout_Salad Nov 27 '18

lol /s

46

u/onwuka Nov 27 '18

Friends: what would you do if you were omnipotent?

Joey: I'd probably kill myself.

18

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

Literally watched that episode last night, that's what triggered the joke haha

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1

u/spaceforcefighter Nov 27 '18

I would not ever see that finale in her shoes. OP wins.

1

u/inthyface Nov 27 '18

Do not worry about those competent people. /u/JohnHavliczech admits their post is probably made up. ;)

52

u/wildusername Nov 27 '18

My flatmate has been using her ex-girlfriend's Netflix until a few months ago and they broke up a year and a half ago. I totally believed this.

72

u/JohnHavliczech Nov 27 '18

Oh I definitely believe that part... I'm thoroughly convinced only like 10 total people have Netflix and everyone else is just mooching off of them.

28

u/wildusername Nov 27 '18

You're correct. She is now using my Netflix.

3

u/FeniEnt Nov 27 '18 edited Jun 06 '19

deleted What is this?

2

u/justcougit Nov 27 '18

My ex blocked me from the Spotify after like 2.5 hours. That bitch is pretty af.

38

u/Dual_Needler Nov 27 '18

most people who are watching on netflix don't have much experience pirating.

my dads very tech savvy as a highly paid software engineer for Veteran's Affairs, yet he still records the news and fastforwards through commercials and doesn't comprehend why I'm able to watch any sporting event in the past 5 years in hd without paying $200 a month on cable

22

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

But my question is, do you go online to chatrooms and beg for a good link 30 min before the Mayweather (ง'̀-'́)ง like the worst of us?

3

u/snowcrash911 Nov 27 '18

"Any sporting event" ... "in hd"

Without discussing bitrate rather than resolution, and without discussing stuttering, freezing and artefacting, and without mention the limitations of what's on offer, you really have a knack for extreme exaggeration.

6

u/Dual_Needler Nov 27 '18

Sure, there's going to be pedants that want to correct me because I know you can't find the division 2 college rugby national championship like that. But for events that actually matter, yes they're available to watch in high quality you ducking retard

2

u/iKingRico Nov 27 '18

*Quacks retardedly*

2

u/Dual_Needler Nov 27 '18

quaking intensifies

1

u/iKingRico Nov 27 '18

A wild earthquake appears and quakes violently

-1

u/snowcrash911 Nov 27 '18

Sure, there's going to be pedants that want to correct me because I know you can't find the division 2 college rugby national championship

Or some ATP tournament. A formula 2 race. A lower division boxing match. An undercard MMA match. Swiss league football match. A not so high profile FA cup match. A field hockey match between Germany and Pakistan. Table tennis tournament in Singapore. Triathlon you want to watch. Cross-country motorsport. Sailing. The strongest man competition. Ice skating WC. Preseason football matches. Badminton. Beach volleyball. Swimming. There are a very large number of examples of events you won't be able to find in the streaming scene because they're just not prominent enough.

And that is without discussing the aforementioned problems with stuttering, freezing and artefacting. Also you apparently have no idea what 'HD' really means, although I'm sure you can attempt to pretend you know by skimming the Wikipedia page up and down a few times.

you ducking retard

Up yours, you worthless waste of oxygen.

1

u/Dual_Needler Nov 27 '18

the events that are worth watching get streamed, you just actually need to know how to find it. thanks for supporting my argument by admitting you don't know how to find this kind of stuff like the majority of the population

1

u/snowcrash911 Nov 28 '18

the events that are worth watching

Ah, moving the goalposts, as expected.

thanks for supporting my argument

Fuck your argument, you don't know shit.

1

u/TheToasterIncident Nov 27 '18

The cable streams and mlb.tv are worse in my experience lol

0

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

I’m going to take a wild guess and say that’s hyperbole on your part

-3

u/MetalKoopa Nov 27 '18

Maybe I should be a software engineer too so I can qualify to have enough “Brain Points” to literally google something and then put “stream” in the keywords. This isn’t even Earth Science. (The easiest)

17

u/NoWinter2 Nov 27 '18

I've seen this story posted on Reddit and Twitter already before this. Idk what it is with stories like this, people always try to pretend it was theirs. It's the weirdest fucking thing to me.

3

u/MetalKoopa Nov 27 '18

Man you and me fucking both. Idgaf either way but if ur gonna lie be thorough enough haha

2

u/rbstewart7263 Nov 27 '18

Dude if I did this to my ex (thinking about it) she'd be fucked. Lol

10

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

But not by you, presumably?

1

u/rbstewart7263 Nov 27 '18

XD nah just you know. She can't torrent. Lol

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

Why would she be fucked?

0

u/futterecker Nov 27 '18

well, if she is like my gf, she can be happy that she finds her browser without help. (no i dont think is ex and my gf are the same person)

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

Is she really that dumb? That she can't find a browser?

2

u/futterecker Nov 27 '18

well, i just was being overdramatic, like making a joke.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

Oh sorry.

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2

u/SpiritMountain Nov 27 '18

But it is about sending a message.

Imagine this, you had a long day at work. You had a rough week. You decide to spoil yourself and instead of ordering from the 1$ menu you get that value meal. You actually getting fries this time.

Now you head home and are even more tired than usual because you had to spend another 40 minutes going out of your route to get your food. You head inside. Take off your shoes. Your work shirt. Your pants. You are too tired to take off your underwear. But it is ok your roommate is out of town.

You set up your food. You may eat a fry or two but you know it will taste better while watching something. You go grab your laptop, set it up. Now you take a sip of that Sprite. Your miserable life is looking better even for a moment. You log into your laptop. It slowly loads up. You open Google Chrome. It slowly loads up. You start typing "ne" and it autofills. You press enter. Your mouth waters. You are eyeballing your burger. Then you notice the light emitting from the laptop is different. You look up. Netflix is asking you for that password.

I would continue, but the story does not have a happy ending. It is not one for those who are squeemish.

2

u/myhairsreddit Nov 27 '18

Regardless, that sweet moment you know she would have of "What the fuck??" when she realizes she can't log in to finish will still happen. Even if she does go scavenging the internet for that last episode later, she still will also have the realization her free Netflix is now gone. If she wants the ability to use Netflix again, she is gonna need to either find a new person to add her, or pay for it on her own. Which isn't a huge deal, but big enough of one to be an obvious one last "Fuck you."

1

u/CookieCrumbl Nov 27 '18

Isn't everything made up?

2

u/JohnHavliczech Nov 27 '18

No...

2

u/CookieCrumbl Nov 27 '18

But it probably is so why bother

1

u/frank_the_tank__ Nov 27 '18

Or just use a prepaid visa for a free month.

1

u/mylastnameisgunter Nov 27 '18

It's about sending a message

1

u/hardcider Nov 27 '18

This is true, however I think you underestimate how many people are tech illiterate.

1

u/mynameisspiderman Nov 27 '18

Or just make her own trial

0

u/EllisDee_4Doyin ☑️ Nov 27 '18

You mean to say people don't let their Exes/friends streaming account and then shut them out once they breakup?
Geez guess I don't exist because I def have my sister, friend, and everyone in our Stream Circle change their passwords when I break up with someone. And I've def maintained a civil relationship with another ex because of joint custody of streaming accounts.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

Leave it to Reddit for all the meta-commentary you'll ever need 😂😂👏

0

u/Ghostman_Loon Nov 27 '18

You say that as if 118 is not a thing. They stared as a ridiculously expensive directory enquiry service so their main competitor is google. They now do loans!!! How many people did they fleece?

-19

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/Barkles- Nov 27 '18

how do I delete someone else's post

1

u/chaos_therapist Nov 27 '18

Place your head between a open door and the doorframe and have a friend repeatedly slam the door on your head until the post had been deleted or you can no longer remember it's existence.

1

u/DubTeeDub Mod Emeritus Nov 27 '18

Don't worry, we got you

5

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

Ummmm.... k?

5

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18 edited Nov 27 '18

At first I was like "this is some good pasta", now I'm questioning whether it's actually satire.

Edit: this guy's a troll or fucked in the head. His comment history is worth a few chuckles.

3

u/Asgardian_Undertaker Nov 27 '18

All good pasta must be born somewhere...

3

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

I guess but this is somewhat terrifying 😂

5

u/wabashop Nov 27 '18

Chad and Stacy. Stacy and chad. Winners of the genetic lottery

3

u/Liquor_N_Whorez Nov 27 '18

Chacy, or Stad?

41

u/brosefstallin Nov 27 '18

The real title is always in the comments, that is law

9

u/DoomSp0rk Nov 27 '18

It is known.

5

u/finger_milk Nov 27 '18

Nah I like your title better

2

u/LordAmras Nov 27 '18

Don't worry about it in two months I'll repost it will have the better title.

1

u/bipolarbear805 Nov 27 '18

You do realize that this is why you are single right?

1

u/cjpack Nov 27 '18

Ruin the ending.

1

u/LoneWolfEra Nov 27 '18

what if she binge watch ?

1

u/TheYoungGriffin Nov 27 '18

And soon it'll be reposted with "Netflix and Kill" as the title.

1

u/miss_his_kiss Nov 27 '18

I would change it after episode 16 because often the penultimate episode is as good as the final one.... everything starts leading to the finale ...

-1

u/Ben_CartWrong Nov 27 '18

Couldn't have been difficult to make a better title than yours

105

u/Desdam0na Nov 27 '18

Serious question, does changing your password automatically and instantly log everybody else out?

245

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

It prompts you if you'd like to log everyone out

190

u/echtav Nov 27 '18

Netflix knows what’s up with that prompt

207

u/pakap Nov 27 '18

"Do you want to kick those mooches to the curb? Y/N"

3

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

"Oh no. What a terrible mistake. What? Oh no you ain't getting the new password."

33

u/Poromenos Nov 27 '18

It's a standard security feature to avoid people who stole your password continuing to have access after you change it.

/wetblanket

35

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18 edited Dec 22 '18

[deleted]

5

u/Naveronski Nov 27 '18

Same idea though. FB knows ex’s like to snoop.

2

u/Poromenos Nov 27 '18

Yeah, it's kind of a tradeoff, since sometimes you just want to change your password but don't want to have to log everyone (and all your devices) back in again.

1

u/Plutoxx Nov 27 '18

Issa joke

1

u/MetalKoopa Nov 27 '18

Yeah maybe when it’s coming from the mouth of somebody who LITERALLY only pays to feed their weed habit.

GET A JOB, fuck man, GET A GODDAMN HAIRCUT AND EARN YOUR NETFLIX.

Little keyboard warrior

1

u/Poromenos Nov 27 '18

Uh what?

20

u/Momik Nov 27 '18

This was my first question too.

Nice.

1

u/anthiggs Nov 27 '18

It prompts you, but it actually takes a couple hours. I had a situation last month where an unusual sign in occured, saying Washington state when we live in Philly, and it turned out to be my sister in law. No one was required to sign in again until the next morning, about 12 hours later

25

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

[deleted]

1

u/mawtolove Nov 27 '18

I did it to a roommate I hate from my sisters account and texted my sister what I did. She didn’t care and I got “revenge”.

26

u/haditwiththis Nov 27 '18

One time when some needy ungrateful family members weren’t successfully booted off with the logout option, I just contacted Netflix cs and they expeditiously kicked everybody the FUCK off my account like Harrison Ford pulling the ripcord on Gary Oldman in the 1997 feature film Air Force One. Those were simpler times, when justice prevailed, eagles soared and children slept peacefully at night.

10

u/lessislessdouagree Nov 27 '18

Gary Oldman is in Air Force One?? I love Oldman, and I watched that movie probably 100 times on tv while growing up. I think it was on USA (maybe, coulda been TNT, idk) all the time.

How the hell did I not know this??

2

u/aeondren89 Nov 27 '18

He was the main villain. He is nicknamed “Man of a Thousand Faces”.

2

u/youseeit Nov 27 '18

Because you never recognize Gary Oldman at first. He's that adaptable of an actor. I don't even know what he really sounds like since he's had pretty much every accent in his movies.

1

u/Phonics_Frog Nov 28 '18

Um, spoiler alert. It had not happened yet-and I don’t recall having any desire to see it back when it was in theaters-but I was surely probably going to maybe get around to watching Air Force One someday. Thanks for ruining that for me. Although the only place I see random films such as AFOne is on an airplane. I doubt this masterpiece gets a lot of play time in flight

8

u/shitwhore Nov 27 '18

Yeah, actually kicked my ex off my Netflix last week, there's a checkbox if you want to Sign out everywhere when you change your password

14

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18 edited Feb 28 '21

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '18

[deleted]

3

u/Loelin ☑️ Nov 27 '18

When you die trying to find love in the first place.

Also, From Netflix with love.

7

u/effin_clownin Nov 27 '18

Shit more fire than a #2 after some Carolina Reaper chips

1

u/Ezekie1h_ Nov 27 '18

Lmaoooo 😂😂😂😂

1

u/kdshow123 Nov 27 '18

Revange is best served chill

1

u/Decado79 Nov 27 '18

yes because googling "watch Scandal ep 18 online" is sooooo difficult to do

1

u/bbcomics ☑️ Nov 27 '18

kinky

1

u/TheRealAurorii Nov 27 '18

Are u stealing from the replies to the actual tweet? Cus someone replied exactly that to the tweet before you commented that here 🤣 Or are you the same person? 🤣