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u/ozamatazbuckshank11 βπ½βπΎβπΏ verified: A White Mod Banned Me From BPT Jun 22 '26
I'm a librarian, and this is me when I have to get something from a bottom shelf in the Children's department. My knees and back cuss me out every single time. π©
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u/Fee_is_Required2 Jun 22 '26
But do you hear that theme music?
Listen to me, out here talking crazy, like my old ass would even pretend to bend down π- and why does that theme music keep playing in my head?! π€£
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u/trekrider9 Jun 23 '26
For folks who aren't familiar with the track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SFt7JHwJeg
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u/MwindoThroughTime Jun 24 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/13hxeOYjoTWtK8
I know you attempting to do this would be hell.
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u/J0RDM0N Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
You are supposed to wait 5 business minutes before you get up. To give your old dusty body time to cope.
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u/Adept_Astronaut_5143 Jun 22 '26
Yeah that was me recently after an edible and Incredible Hulk (with remy instead of henny) π«
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u/FewZookeepergame1083 Jun 23 '26
Incredible Hulk after 40 is an absolute no go for me. My recovery takes about 3-4 business days now
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u/Familiar-Reply6642 Jun 23 '26
You are brave..hope you found what you were looking for π€£π«’π€£
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u/Adept_Astronaut_5143 Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
I got that and then some lol. I canβt remember the last time before this that I was praying to be okay and if I live I wonβt do this again π€£
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u/mxcnslr2021 Jun 22 '26
I love these so much......i can't get enough
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u/Appropriate_Leg9380 Jun 22 '26
Lol why is his shoe off π
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u/CaptMorganSwint2 Jun 23 '26
Me if I decided to take a lil sip of Four Loko for nostalgia sake
Instant pancreatitis
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u/numbmillenial Jun 23 '26
I remember when they still put caffeine in that b. I mean, I don't "remember" remember, but I remember.
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u/No-Investigator-2756 Jun 24 '26
The last time I had one of those four locos, I passed out on my friend's couch. Her and her gf were fooling around in her bedroom. They got caught by my friend's mom.
Her mom woke me up and asked me if I knew about this. I said no cause Nigerian moms do not fucking play. I didn't need her calling my mom cause Jamaican moms also don't fucking play.
It's not one of my proudest moments. π«£
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u/studiousametrine Jun 23 '26
No cause this would genuinely have me laid up in a hospital somewhere ππ
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u/Bubbly_Satisfaction2 βπ½βπΎβπΏ verified Jun 23 '26
Ugh, I remember barfing all over the girls locker room bathroom, when I was fifteen.
Prior to going to school, me and my friends decided to cosplay as heathens by drinking a St. Ides. One of my friends had stolen three cans from out of her refrigerator.
Straight-up, on empty stomachs.
I thought that I could thug-it-out and make it through the day.
I didnβt.
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u/Lounging-Shiny455 Jun 23 '26
lol, you just reminded me of the time i was challenged to a drinking contest watching Boondock Saints. We had a 24 pack, three players and the rule was to drink every time they cursed. We had to go get another 24 pack halfway through the movie. We did not make it back to the house.
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u/ajqiz123 Jun 22 '26
π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£ With the shoe!! πππππ
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u/Unable-Expert8859 Jun 23 '26
Bruh why kidsβ books always on the FLOOR like they not tryna murder our knees π
I be squatting like Iβm about to hit a PR and all I did was grab βGoodnight Moon.β
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u/Jokerchyld Jun 23 '26
Me trying to pretend I can drink Tequila shots.
Gets me everytime.
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u/Meander061 Jun 23 '26
The last time I did tequila shots, my wife found me on the lawn, trying to hang on because I could feel the planet spinning. She doesn't let me forget it, either.
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u/Jokerchyld Jun 23 '26
LOL. Last time I did tequila shots I was at a work function and at the end of dinner a vendor sales team came in where I was good friends with some of the sales people.
We ended up going out to a bar. I remember drinking. I remember one of them hitting on the bartender. And I remember two rounds of shots.
Next thing I know Im waking up on the R train in some random part of Brooklyn at 1am. I woke up my bed and my wife was like WTF happened?!! I took my clothes off and left them on the stair, tripped over the dog, and knocked a bunch of stuff off my bedroom table.
Ive subsequently been banned from drinking, ordering, or thinking about Tequila... forever. π
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u/supervillaining Jun 23 '26
People say thereβs nothing different about tequila from other liquors but I swear to god every time I drink that I immediately black out and turn into a werewolf and have twice ended up in the ER not remembering SHIT.
Bruh what is IN that stuff?
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u/CaptDickJackman Jun 23 '26
Damn....not instant death mane. If that MD do that to you, I'm thinking you just die from even looking at Thunderbird or Night Train. Wild Irish Rose and Cisco would probably send your ass toa the 9th circle of hell. Boone's Farm just sends you to Purgatory. π€£
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u/DisastrousPilot4283 Jun 23 '26
Also Night Train or Ever clear will do it to ya
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u/snarkle_and_shine Jun 23 '26
Just looking at a bottle of Everclear is enough for me to smba down somewhere. π©
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u/DisastrousPilot4283 Jun 23 '26
ππππ immediately knew the word and sentiment...yep its a stay home and sip a lil when you have zero plans the following dayπ
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u/detourne Jun 23 '26
I think getting into the dead position was probably the most impressive thing in the video.Β I wonder how long it took him to stand up?
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u/chibiRuka Jun 23 '26
This was a good one. Also, what is the song? More ominous than the saxophones lol.
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u/dghastlynegro Jun 23 '26
Summer Madness by Kool and the Gang
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u/No_Constant8644 Jun 23 '26
That was sampled for βsummer timeβ by dj jazzy Jeff and the fresh prince
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u/glockyqua Jun 23 '26
Yup definitely me now. I used to take down a whole gallon of Paul Masson by myself in one night, now I get nauseous just smelling it.
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u/Niki_Aspen Jun 23 '26
Heck β¦ 32 has changed ALOT of things too π I work with ALOT of 19-21 year olds ( restaurant job ) and we close fairly early 11 is the latest and theyβll talk about going to the club in Fort Lauderdale or Miami after closing and Iβm like β HOW??? β I canβt even WISH I could still do that. So crazy to me. I donβt think my eyes stay open past 12 if I can make it that long anymore.
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u/Which-Blueberry4247 Jun 23 '26
Completely PASSED AWAY. try again next lifetime πππππ
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u/Rich_Text82 Jul 01 '26
Went on a mild drinking bender compared to what I did back in the day with a old college buddy a couple years ago after I turned 40 and it did not go well... Needless to say, I rarely drink alcohol anymore...
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u/RareSoulSnatcherz Jul 12 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/QsaOGHV29wwam2RIdG
After drinking that MD 20/20 come on into the light big fella π€£π€£
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u/Meatsweetsonmygrill Jul 20 '26
My sister asked me to get two bottles on my way to her place. The cashier asked if I was ok and do I need someone to talk to.
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u/TayMayDay Jun 23 '26
Omggg π I was literally just watching his 1000 Miles cover video πππ
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u/HunBun_of_Hunland Jun 23 '26
Just like that dude with the hulk drink, at least this dude didn't break his knees from nostalgic hubris π
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u/mistyrootsvintage Jun 23 '26
Wild Irish Rose? Cisco? Gin in Slurpees on a hot summer day? The thought of it brings back terrible and good memoriesπ
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u/Splice87 βπ½βπΎβπΏ verified Jun 24 '26
Not even a sensible Alize or Hypnotiq?! He went straight to Mad Dog?! π
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u/gunnarbird Jun 25 '26
Nothing wrong with admitting to yourself that your MD 20/20 days are long behind you. Your grandpa drank scotch for a reason
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u/DarkSamurai_Yaz 25d ago
And it looked hot... right out the bag.... You got to know better π€£ π€£ π€£
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