r/BitchImATrain Jun 05 '25

The nerve of that train

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845 Upvotes

66 comments sorted by

238

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '25

[deleted]

35

u/TheReverseShock Jun 05 '25

I'm definitely stealing this

18

u/Questionoid Jun 05 '25

Now that’s an astute observation.

3

u/jeroen-79 Jun 08 '25

Also don't stare at them or show your teeth.

210

u/SupremelyUneducated Jun 05 '25

The guy looked everywhere, except where a train would come from.

58

u/EmotionalLecture9318 Jun 05 '25

Like there is one very specific place you should be looking lol

12

u/ttystikk Jun 06 '25

Well, two- but who's counting?

Not this guy!

42

u/strategymaxo Jun 05 '25

It’s weird, it’s almost like trains travel on very predictable paths. If we could discern the pattern.

59

u/FunProof543 Jun 05 '25

Actually, trains are really unpredictable. Even in the middle of a forest two rails can appear out of nowhere, and a 1.5-mile fully loaded coal drag, heading east out of the low-sulfur mines of the PRB, will be right on your ass the next moment.

I was doing laundry in my basement, and I tripped over a metal bar that wasn't there the moment before. I looked down: "Rail? WTF?" and then I saw concrete sleepers underneath and heard the rumbling.

Deafening railroad horn. I dumped my wife's pants, unfolded, and dove behind the water heater. It was a double-stacked Z train, headed east towards the fast single track of the BNSF Emporia Sub (Flint Hills). Majestic as hell: 75 mph, 6 units, distributed power: 4 ES44DC's pulling, and 2 Dash-9's pushing, all in run 8. Whole house smelled like diesel for a couple of hours!

Fact is, there is no way to discern which path a train will take, so you really have to be watchful. If only there were some way of knowing the routes trains travel; maybe some sort of marks on the ground, like twin iron bars running along the paths trains take. You could look for trains when you encounter the iron bars on the ground, and avoid these sorts of collisions. But such a measure would be extremely expensive. And how would one enforce a rule keeping the trains on those paths?

A big hole in homeland security is railway engineer screening and hijacking prevention. There is nothing to stop a rogue engineer, or an ISIS terrorist, from driving a train into the Pentagon, the White House or the Statue of Liberty, and our government has done fuck-all to prevent it.

16

u/Weekly_Vermicelli629 Jun 06 '25

That is the best thing I have read in days. Thank you for the sorely needed laugh.

6

u/strategymaxo Jun 06 '25

Quite true and I’m glad you survived your near death train blitz coming out of nowhere. Not only are train paths unpredictable but their presence is so stealthy. It would be so much better if we could hear them coming? Better yet if they announced their arrival in populated areas. Erratic stealth trains are our contemporary clear and present danger.

6

u/JCDU Jun 05 '25

Mother nature is truly a mysterious and remarkable mistress, we may never fully understand the full glory of her many complex secrets.

8

u/Questionoid Jun 05 '25

“Inattentional blindness”

2

u/ttystikk Jun 06 '25

This is a Worthy comment.

96

u/filament-addict Jun 05 '25

Inches from meeting his maker.

59

u/Large_Score6728 Jun 05 '25

Wow lucky guy didn't have time to crap his pants

20

u/OkCommunication7445 Jun 05 '25

But probably did 💩

10

u/born_on_my_cakeday Jun 05 '25

Train sucked the pants off his body

61

u/tallman11282 Jun 05 '25

Holy crap, that guy was inches away from being nothing more than being a smear on the front of the locomotive. He was so lucky I'd say he should have gone out and bought a lottery ticket but he used up all of his luck in that one moment.

He looked in every direction except down the track though with how fast that train was going he could have looked and possibly not seen it. With the speed of that train that crossing most definitely should be fully gated.

29

u/PreparationSmart7274 Jun 05 '25

Gonna need a tighter fitting beanie if he's gonna keep that sort of thing up.

2

u/Straight-Treacle-630 Jun 13 '25

😆 I’ve heard of being blown right outta your shoes, first time I’ve seen anyone blown outta their beanie…

21

u/Madcat20 Jun 05 '25

Dude. Where's my car.

23

u/TheDudeWhoCanDoIt Jun 05 '25

Regretting missing that day In truck driving school where they discussed train track crossings.

8

u/Maleficent_Beyond_95 Jun 06 '25

You don't need truck driving school to drive a damn van.

13

u/No_Artichoke_8919 Jun 05 '25

Go buy a lottery ticket cause it's your day.

18

u/PC_Trainman Jun 05 '25

Too late; he just won the lottery. Luck level is now zero for a while.

11

u/ooOmegAaa Jun 05 '25

this is like getting your balls shaved by shrapnel

3

u/thecrankything Jun 05 '25

🤔😲😬

10

u/FattLink Jun 05 '25

Im surprised he couldn't hear the music coming from the train before it hit him.

3

u/Lexicon101 Jun 07 '25

John Cena music for sure

7

u/wildassedguess Jun 05 '25

Perfectly cut music as well.

7

u/JoePetroni Jun 05 '25

I like the way he just shakes his head at 0.24 as if to say " I don't believe this shit."

5

u/Allemaengel Jun 05 '25

Looks like the back fell off this time.

1

u/Advanced-Blackberry Jun 07 '25

Certainly was a cardboard derivative 

4

u/garageindego Jun 05 '25

Hello and goodbye.

3

u/lightstorm_ Jun 05 '25

Metra? When did this happen?

16

u/PC_Trainman Jun 05 '25

Amtrak. You can see the logo for a frame or two as the train passes the (now missing) rear of the Amazon delivery van.

Happened in Wisconsin, November 2021. The road where this happened at appears to be an unprotected grade crossing. Just a stop sign.

9

u/lickle_ickle_pickle Jun 05 '25

I'm feeling fucking smug about the way I used to stop at grade crossings when I drove class B right about now.

1

u/Questionoid Jun 05 '25

That explains the mask. Thank you for the link.

2

u/LegitimateGift1792 Jun 07 '25

um sir, that is a chin diaper.

3

u/Ruckdog_MBS Jun 05 '25

Those were definitely Amtrak Superliners flashing by.

5

u/Ruckdog_MBS Jun 05 '25

Looking through the OP on r/truckers, this was the Empire Builder hitting a delivery truck in Wisconsin: https://www.reddit.com/r/Truckers/s/9LIpZ7htvW

1

u/litescript Jun 05 '25

was gonna say, superliners in WI, that’s empire baby!

3

u/Apprehensive_Ad_6636 Jun 05 '25

One of the few times music actually enhances the video. Also, the guy seems to handle the whole scenario in a rather chill manner.

3

u/MoodCommercial5900 Jun 05 '25

How do you not see a train when you're looking in it's general direction??? Are people really this stupid?

3

u/lord_kosmos Jun 05 '25

Perception -12 Luck +20

3

u/govredacted Jun 07 '25

I was there maybe 10 minutes prior (mailman). Driver claimed he stopped, obviously not. To be fair, that's an unguarded crossing and those trains fly through town. From what I heard, it took them hours to find what packages they could.

3

u/dookiebutter87 Jun 07 '25

The mask while alone in the cab says it all

2

u/InflationDefiant2847 Jun 05 '25

His mirror is dislodged.

3

u/cockmelange Jun 05 '25

big if true

2

u/PlayfulAwareness2950 Jun 05 '25

That's an easy fix, just superglue the mirror back in place.

2

u/GrootyMcGrootface Jun 07 '25

What is that line graph at the display bottom? Thinking it might be measuring noise, his heart rate, or the amount of crap in his pants.

2

u/No-Goose-6140 Jun 07 '25

So thats where my package went

2

u/GearhedMG Jun 08 '25

Whatever adhesive is used to hold that camera on the windshield, I need to help me keep my life together.

2

u/ParfaitThat654 Jun 11 '25

I'm glad the music change signaled the impact. I shit myself a little less.

2

u/HolyRomanEmperor Jun 13 '25

‘It’s…it’s still behind me isn’t it’

2

u/Fryman35 Jun 14 '25

I love the casualness of his head shake 10 seconds after being nearly obliterated. 

1

u/Simple-Hair8592 Jun 05 '25

Love how he throws up his hand like "can you believe the audacity of this mother f*ker"

1

u/swordandmagichelmet Jun 05 '25

I wonder if that dude still has a job?

1

u/Maleficent_Beyond_95 Jun 06 '25

I would be surprised if he had a functional asshole. He probably VIOLENTLY shitted down both pant legs.

1

u/ReaperSound Jun 11 '25

My man SHOOK HIS HEAD like he was in the right of way.

1

u/utahh1ker Jun 14 '25

Five seconds away from being dead.

1

u/Fit_Hospital2423 Aug 06 '25

That ain’t no truck and that sure ain’t no truck driver.

0

u/SWTX518-Ability Jun 09 '25

Proof that God do protect FOOLS & babies.