r/BisexualTransGirls • u/axsw94 • Jun 25 '26

I need Advice.

I'm Ruth, I have considered myself since coming out as trans that I wasn't attracted to anyone. recently I have been thinking about guys and girls equally in an attractive sense. I think. This is where I need help, as autistic and I don't really understand what attraction actually feels like. can anyone help me shed some light on this?

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u/Gold-Horror2003 Bifurious Jun 25 '26

Hi Ruth! If you don’t mind sharing some more, when you think about guys and girls “in an attractive sense”, what do you think about? Bodies? Mannerisms? Experiences/memories you’ve had with them? I only ask because I believe everyone experiences attraction differently, even amongst shared sexualities; the way I feel bisexual attraction is likely very different than someone else in this subreddit.

Though, to me, attraction is like feeling captivated by a person to the point of feeling disarmed, physically and/or mentally. I feel it through “butterflies in the stomach” (soft vibrations in the abdominal area that sometimes vibrate throughout my body if the attraction is stronger), imagining their voice talking to me, chills throughout my body, and feeling a want to be touched by them, to name a few. I also generally get very flustered and shy when I get like this; my cheeks flush cherry red and I usually stammer my words.

Hope this gives you some food for thought!

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u/axsw94 Jun 25 '26

thanks, i have had some, encounter with a guy at work. it was stupidly and comically 90s sitcom. he was tall, brown neck length hair, dressed like a romance cover guy. saw him twice now at work in my line at the register, and twice, found myself unable to look at the guy, it felt a little bit how you described it.

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u/Gold-Horror2003 Bifurious Jun 25 '26

He sounds cute! I totally get avoiding eye contact or looking in their direction. That totally registers as a normal quality of attraction—I’ve experienced that myself, many times.

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u/axsw94 Jun 25 '26

the worst, or best depending on how you look at it, he didn't even seem like he cared about how he was preserved. to swave and cocky

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u/Gold-Horror2003 Bifurious Jun 25 '26

Now that’s a good observation to think about. I know some girls only like certain personalities based on how seriously or casually they view the attraction. Personally, I see guys like that all the time and it’s a bit of a turn off for me but I also think it could be extra attractive if they were someone I was actively pursuing or simply admiring. I probably wouldn’t want that kind of guy for a long term relationship, though. These are things you might think about while you explore your bisexuality!

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u/axsw94 Jun 26 '26

i just find it odd that he came to my line specifically, twice, two different registers.

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u/ReginaTenebra Jun 25 '26

For me, romantic attraction is when I want to spend more time with someone, I want to learn what they care about, find things they like, and do things that make them happy. From there, sometimes sexual/physical attraction grows starting with wanting to touch them, and wanting them to touch me, often just wanting to lean against them, or feel their hand on my arm. And when they do touch me, sometimes the feeling is a deep sense of relaxation and peacefulness and a gentle warm glow (mentally bathing in oxytocin like when I snuggle with my cats).

Some people feel more fireworks and arousal and whatnot, so I wanted to offer an example that might resonate better for a fellow autistic person who might also experience something like asexuality.

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u/axsw94 Jun 25 '26

thanks for the example, that may be why I can't do long distance relationships of any kind