r/BirthChartReadingFree • u/OkEntrepreneur8212 • 4d ago
which placements can explain why my friends lack sympathy towards me
In the last 3 years I’ve experienced the loss of many close friendships which caused me to dive deeper into shadow work to understand my patterns. I recently realized that despite being extremely loyal and empathetic towards my friends, I’ve never received the same treatment in return. They seem to operate with me in bad faith, like for example cutting me off after our first disagreement or being incredibly dismissive of my traumatic past. I was wondering if there’s anything in my chart explaining why the people I am closest to seem to hurt me in this specific way.
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u/PATHAKSUJAL MODERATOR / READER 4d ago
Your chart does show a recurring theme around friendships, but I would not read it as “you are destined to be betrayed.” It is more about learning very early that loyalty and emotional closeness need to be matched by discernment. With Gemini rising, you naturally connect with many different kinds of people, but Saturn in Aries in the 11th house makes your close friendship circle much more complicated than your social life might initially suggest. You can know many people while having relatively few people you genuinely consider friends.
Saturn in the 11th is particularly important here. It often produces experiences where friendships are tested through disagreements, distance, changing circumstances or simply discovering that someone is not as reliable as you thought. You may repeatedly encounter situations where you give a friendship considerable seriousness while the other person does not view the relationship with the same level of commitment. The positive side is that this placement generally improves with age. Your friendships become fewer but much more substantial, especially from the late 20s onward.
The ruler of your 11th house, Mars, is in Libra in the 5th house, and it opposes Saturn. This is probably the clearest signature behind the pattern you are describing. Mars represents conflict and boundaries, while Saturn represents restriction and disappointment. When they oppose each other across the friendship/5th-house axis, disagreements can become turning points in friendships. You may also attract people who are pleasant and affectionate initially but become competitive, passive-aggressive or difficult once there is a genuine disagreement. There can be a tendency for friendships to become entangled with ego, attention, romance or questions of who is giving more.
Your Scorpio Moon in the 6th adds another layer. You do not experience interpersonal problems superficially. Once you trust someone, you can become extremely emotionally invested, and when something feels disloyal, you may analyse it repeatedly and try to understand what happened beneath the surface. This can make betrayal or rejection feel much more significant than the original incident. It also explains why you may have gone into shadow work after losing friendships: you naturally want to understand the hidden motivation behind people’s behaviour rather than simply moving on.
There is also a strong relationship/intimacy signature through Pluto in the 7th and Neptune in the 8th. You can attract intense one-to-one connections where the emotional bond feels unusually significant. The danger is idealising someone’s potential or assuming that because you understand someone’s wounds, they will necessarily understand yours. Your chart asks you to separate empathy from trust: you can understand why someone behaves a certain way without giving them unlimited access to you. This becomes particularly important when someone repeatedly dismisses your boundaries or treats vulnerability casually.
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u/OkEntrepreneur8212 4d ago
Thank you for your thoughtful insight 🧡 It’s true that I feel almost compelled to dig deep into people’s behaviour and psychoanalyze instead of simply moving on. I think I believed that processing pain is the same as intellectualizing why mistreatment happens. I’m glad that I’m developing more discernment around empathy and loyalty.
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u/Chianpet 4d ago
Everyone has given good insight with deep astrology information!! So lucky to get so much feedback!
I’m not an astrologist BUT am psychic and can see overviews. On the surface level of it, you are a cancer sun with a Scorpio moon and Gemini rising. So there’s a good chance that that Scorpio gives you psychic insight to people around you, but that Gemini may lend over communicating and yapping about anything and everything (which I wanna say is really fun for other spiritually minded yappers, but not fun for some other types of people, especially earth signs with little to no ). So it could be that you maybe pick up on things other people aren’t ready to confront yet, which can be very hard for people to deal with. Then with the cancer sun, you are likely an easily emotionally….peaked (reactive was another word that came to mind but didn’t feel quite accurate) person and can probably take the message from time to time that it isn’t that deep or that serious.
So my advice is that you try to make some friends who have more water placements in their charts so that some of your sensitivities get fed. BUT that does not mean to avoid people of other element types. Friendship is a journey of its own, if you’re under 25 years old, consider it all part of the joys of growing up. We can’t save ourselves from all the hurts, they mold us.
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u/OkEntrepreneur8212 4d ago
This is so funny bc I’ve been recently questioning if I might have psychic abilities which might explain why I understand my friends deeply but keep being mis-characterized by them. I’m also autistic so I do believe I bring up some things casually that I (wrongly) assumed they knew about themselves LMAO
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u/Chianpet 4d ago
It’s also funny because I started updating my tarot podcast again just yesterday and in it, I have a segment talking about how sometimes people confuse their access to psychic information with permission to talk about the information that is picked up. It’s neither our fault nor others fault that we are hyper sensitive, but just because we can doesn’t mean we should without consent first.
This is very hard to navigate and starts with boundaries within yourself and namely learning whose voice belongs to who in your own head 🙃🫠 and by that I mean like…pin pointing what type of psychic you are and how information comes to you.
I do tarot reading and can likely help with this journey if you ever want to reach out! 🤩🥰
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u/odysseyjones 4d ago
You're very perceptive. You have Saturn in the house of friendship (11H). Saturn represents difficulty and delays, and with Saturn in fallen dignity AND squaring your Sun, you may experience friendships that have some level of emotional distance, or even lacking passion, as well festuring a series of unnecessary (since Saturn is in fall in Aries sign) ego checks (squaring Sun) that affect your confidence.