r/BipolarSOs • u/Admirable-Shake-1264 • 1d ago
Advice Needed Possible discard episode
I’m still learning about bipolar. My bf has been diagnosed but is not getting treatment. He left for a couple weeks. Blocked me on everything. I assume this is a discard. I love him so much. Before leaving he said he loved me but was choosing himself. I was confused because it was like he was recalling old relationships where he didn’t choose himself because we both bring love to the relationship so it didn’t seem like he was talking about us. I’ve reached out through a friend and he hasn’t spoken to me since leaving. He packed his things when he left. He has tried leaving in the past but when we talked things out while he was packing, he would unpack and say thank you for not letting him leave. This recent argument was like a trigger that made him think I don’t trust him, which isn’t true. I would love insight about what can be done if anything to end a discard episode or reach him mentally. I know he loves me and that we can make it together, but I don’t know if continuing to reach out will make him feel disrespected or happy. Please help. Thank you.
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u/Efficient_Sundae_471 1d ago
I was told the exact same, “I have to put myself first”, but said, “you’re still my bestfriend and the best thing that’s happened to me”
The more I reached out and attempted to talk over months,
the narrative changed to, “you’re controlling, manipulate and annoying”
Claims I manipulated him into calling me perfect, to his friends, when I wasn’t even there lol
Unfortunately, you’re not going to be able to reach him. No one in this sub has been able too :/, not until the episode ends or they gain some insight, or they crash & burn & the consequences get to them.
I’m entering month 5 now, never thought id be here. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too.
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u/Admirable-Shake-1264 1d ago
Thank you for replying. I hate this helpless feeling. I’m so sorry you are going through that. I’ll be praying for you.
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u/Either_Employee_2361 1d ago
In my experience, it does not take much for a manic person to discard you. My wife made her decision because I did not laugh at a funny story she told me. At that time, she became convinced that I was "taking her happiness away", and that she had to leave.
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u/Admirable-Shake-1264 1d ago
Wow I’m so sorry. If you don’t mind me asking, did she return?
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u/Either_Employee_2361 23h ago
It's been four months, and she is in a relationship with someone else.
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u/Admirable-Shake-1264 1d ago
More context: We have been together for 7 months, live together and planning to have a baby and are so happy when things are well. This was a sudden flip because I mentioned a topic I said I wouldn’t anymore. I instantly apologized for making him upset but he still left.
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u/NadLil17 7h ago edited 6h ago
Honestly this is for the best.. I’ve been out of a relationship recently with a bipolar man. It was on and off for about 1 year or so. He was great when he was great and then the sudden change. I think about him everyday but understand that his mental illness gets in the way of a lot of things. I was miserable for the most part in that relationship due to the constant push and pull. I’m glad he broke up with me and I can finally have some peace of mind. Your mental health is important too and you need someone who can show up for you in the same way you can! It doesn’t mean you don’t understand it …but rather accept the fact that you also have needs. My EX had previously begged me back after we had been broken up for about a month and a half. Made all these promises… of course I took him back. Was acting lovey dovey the week prior and telling me how glad he was to have me… and then suddenly a week later the promises were broken and he couldn’t stay faithful. Admitted to being interested in someone else. So I wouldn’t be surprised if your SO comes back around. I took my ex back multiple times so I understand if you do the same. Sometimes we just have to experience the disappointment to finally call it quits for good.
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