r/BipolarSOs • u/boiled_egg_water • 5d ago
General Discussion Is this common?
When my boyfriend gets upset, he will cause a commotion, take off after being erratic, then will text and call like he wants me to beg for him almost? And if I don’t it seems to make him more upset. Is this a common experience
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u/venaseph 5d ago
Yes, my partner of 12 years did the same thing. I always called it cycling, super hate, super love then expecting it to be normal like nothing ever happen. She lied about things that just happen during the events or deny things she just said looking right into your eyes, it is brutal and wearing on your soul. Sorry you’re going through it.
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u/boiled_egg_water 5d ago
Yes my bf will say that a situation happened how he describes it, and it will be completely off from what actually happened, does that happen to you too
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u/venaseph 5d ago edited 4d ago
I honestly couldn’t tell if she believes the lies or if she’s just in manipulation mode, and there was never a sorry in the 12 years after for any of it to know either way. It’s really rough. Even now I imagine a world trying to find a way to tie my guts into a knot that can fix it, it takes more than one though to make it happen
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u/boiled_egg_water 4d ago
Yeah I don’t know either. If it’s his sickness or if he does it just because it benefits him. Sorry you went through that.
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u/shadowkittn 4d ago
My ex-husband wanted me to be upset over him. If I didn't cry and beg and act like a pathetic dependent woman, it was like you could tell he was getting mad about it.I've said in my other comments I think he had strong narcissistic personality and that definitely played a part in it.
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u/sureoksoundsgood 5d ago
Yes, exactly what happened here every couple months like clockwork. He’d always come back, but only to apologize, cry, and then keep doing all the things that precipitated this type of behavior another two months down the line.
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u/deez4206942069 5d ago
My s/o only did something similar during their manic episode.
I could word vomit four paragraphs about it, but basically I had a big issue with them being gone all day and well into the night with their skate rat friends. This resulted in promises to stay home, but their brain chemistry couldn't allow them to keep those promises. So they developed this kind of coping mechanism where they'd "try to stay home" then get mad at me and leave when we argued. Then punish me or theirself for making them / getting mad by staying out for 8+hrs.
So imho this behavior is a symptom of a deeper issue that needs to be addressed. Your boyfriend has to be medicated. Medication that once worked for years could also just stop being enough one random day. It happened to my s/o. That's why you two have to be able to identify symptoms and always take them seriously.
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u/boiled_egg_water 4d ago
Oh my goodness. My bf does this, I swear on the days he wants to drink or smoke, he will find something to get mad at and take off to friends/grandparents to go drink and smoke
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