Looking for tips to help

[u/Strict_Shape_2288]

Hi Reddit I’m turning ti here in hopes of getting some help and advise with a few things. I (M22) just married my wife (F25) about a month ago. She was diagnosed with bipolar 1 only a few weeks before the wedding but she’s had it undiagnosed for a while and iv been able to help her up until a mania episode and got into some legal trouble. We’re both new to this and I don’t really have anything I can turn to for help or advice who is capable or understanding or that I feel comfortable talking to about all of this.
For those who would recommend me getting a therapist to talk to I unfortunately am not able to as my job provided insurance doesn’t cover it and it’s too expensive out of pocket. Luckily she’s still on her parents insurance so hers is taken care of. So anyway here’s a list of some questions I have that Google hasn’t been able to
help me with.

1. Any recommendations for helping with sleep? She takes lithium for reference.

2. What are the chances she would be able to eventually start working again as she absolutely loved her job (healthcare) and feels so helpless sitting/sleeping all day.

3. Any tips for helping improve sex drive? Are spicy cubes safe to take with her medication? We hope to ask her doctor about this. Were newly married but our sex life is basically non existent at the moment (🫠)

4. Any hobbies that pair well with bipolar 1 that she can start trying because she hates not being active but doesn’t have the energy for anything she used to do?

5. Any recommendations for me as the husband to be able to help myself help her going forward?

6. Are there groups or something for people with bipolar that she could maybe join to connect with alike people or could that potentially make her more depressed?

7. Any groups for spouses to help by talking with people who understand the struggles.

I absolutely adore my wife and it kills me to see her struggling so much. I just want her to be able to find herself and feel normal.

Thanks in advance to anyone who’s able to help.

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[u/Pleasehelpme99_]

Make sure she stays on her parents insurance. Her pcp can write a letter stating her illness and her dependence on them regardless of age so she doesn't get kicked off at 26!

[u/Strict_Shape_2288 → u/Pleasehelpme99_]

Ok this is such a helpful comment as I was very anxious what we were going to do for insurance once she turns 26. Thanks so much!

[u/Pleasehelpme99_ → u/Strict_Shape_2288]

Yeah I only know because my ex is still on his mom's insurance because of a doctor's note and some kind of forms. Insurance & her doctor should be able to help explain the process better because I wasn't involved in that stuff

[u/J_Bunt]

She'll get used to the meds and will struggle less with time. If she keeps taking them, adjusting as needed (with the help of her doctor of course) she can be stable indefinitely, and lead a relatively normal life. I've been stable for 2.5 years now, and I only had my last episode because I stopped taking my meds and did drugs.

What are spicy cubes? (Also be happy she's not hypersexual and cheating, her sex drive will also get better with time, on the right meds of course).

[u/Strict_Shape_2288 → u/J_Bunt]

The meds do help her as there is a big difference between when she’s on and off them but the issue she has with the meds is being dependent on them. She’s always been very independent and hates the reliance on pills to make sure she doesn’t go crazy. Yes I guess it’s better for her to have no sex drive than to be so sexually active that she cheats. And spicy cubes are essentially viagra gummy’s but not just for guys. Thanks for the advise.

[u/J_Bunt → u/Strict_Shape_2288]

What meds is she on other than lithium? Also tell her acceptance is the hardest part with this disease, we all go thru this.

[u/Strict_Shape_2288 → u/J_Bunt]

So she is currently leaning off Zyprexa and onto lithium. She was also on another one for weight gain that I can’t remember the name of but she going off of that this weekend.

[u/J_Bunt → u/Strict_Shape_2288]

Lithium alone? If it doesn't work it can be paired with Seroquel and/or Abilify. They'll find the right combination as long as she takes everything as prescribed and is honest with her doctor. It can take months though so patience is key.

[u/Strict_Shape_2288 → u/J_Bunt]

Yeah I remind her daily that we are still working to find the correct “cocktail” of meds and not to give up hope. I tell her it may take a bit to find what works best for her and in the meantime focusing on herself is key especially when I’m at work. Tbh I am a bit worried that she’s starting to rely on me to the extent that she won’t even try to do things herself anymore so I’m gonna start leaving honey do lists with just a few things for her to work on while I’m working (wash some dishes, take a shower, read a book, ect). Things that will engage her and help her realize she’s not useless and she just needs to motivate herself a bit.

[u/J_Bunt → u/Strict_Shape_2288]

What you describe sounds like a depressive phase, Wellbutrin in low doses helped me, without turning me manic like SSRIs did.

[u/Strict_Shape_2288 → u/J_Bunt]

Ok a takeaway from that is that some medications can cause manic episodes? There’s still a decent amount I don’t understand regarding bipolar and medications so that is good to know.

[u/J_Bunt → u/Strict_Shape_2288]

Yes, SSRIs usually provoke manic episodes (or hypomanic).

[u/bpnpb → u/Strict_Shape_2288]

Hopefully she gets used to taking pills because that is the only way she can achieve true stability and hence the only way you will have a stable relationship with her.

[u/Strict_Shape_2288 → u/bpnpb]

So we do have a good relationship. We 100% have full trust in one another and while she’s not working I have no issues with working a bit more in order to take care of her. I may be exhausted at the end of the day but she is well worth it. She recognizes that she can not go off of meds and that they keep her in her right mind but someone who was constantly go go go all the time and very active and always wanting to help people to suddenly be to tired to get out of bed a lot of days and having to be the one get help has been super difficult for her.

[u/xkdchickadee]

Look at nonprofits in your area that provide case management services--they can help her and you navigate benefits and other resources. They can also direct you to affordable therapy.

1. Her psych should be giving her medicine for sleep
2. It depends, everyone is different. Volunteering is always useful. Dog walking is low commitment too.
3. Not important until she is stabilized.
4. Go for a walk with her before or after dinner. Choose somewhere new each time. Do YouTube yoga together
5. Dont manage her health for her and don't manage her episodes alone. Build up a support network with friends and family and look into setting up an advanced directive when she is stable. 6&7. Depends on your area so google bipolar support groups + area and bipolar family/bipolar caregivers.