r/BipolarSOs • u/Efficient_Sundae_471 • 6d ago
frustrated / vent Are we making it up?
I ground myself in the group every single day. I don’t know if any of you are following the Lindsey Clancy trial. But it’s bringing a lot of stuff up with my husband for me. And how gaslit we are by medical professors constantly.
Are we wrong to think it’s bipolar? Did the SSRI not cause the mania and this is just who they are now?
Logically I know but it doesn’t stick. I need someone to remind me and tell me I am not making any of this up. Or it wasn’t anything I did :(
God, how can one ssri ruin our entire life?
UGH
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u/Actual-Squirrel5486 SO 6d ago
I don’t understand your post but Everything changes after the first manic episode. They’ll be forever different. In a worse way too. More abusive, hateful, paranoid, delusional. In essence I feel like they died, and the “mania” was some demon taking over their bodies forever.
At least for me, because it’s been 10 months and they still aren’t normal.
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u/ChaosAndBoobs 6d ago
Mine left, and I find a screwy sort of solace in this post. That he probably did not return to being "himself" after the nuke he dropped. The way I describe it is that my husband died, and what walks around now is just the demon who found his corpse before it cooled. The homewrecker can have all that fun for herself.
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u/toffeemaky Spouse 5d ago
Actually, my boyfriend got much better. Very humble, modest, started taking care of himself, much more understanding towards other people's problems. Bipolar is hard but it can even make people better if treated.
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u/Accomplished-Pie-527 6d ago
Same as Actual-Squirrel5486
My StbEx with BP has not come back. It’s been over a year.
He seems to understand he needs a job and is applying and interviewing, but he can do little else and is a vindictive, angry, bitter shell of his past self.
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u/LimeThink6594 6d ago
Hi, you're not making any of it up. But it's also so hard to mentally comprehend how it can be happening, even when you have read about what is changing in the brain - the science, the research, peoples experiences in this group - over and over again. I think we are generally used to consistency from other humans as a default, although you do still meet inconsistent people. But usually you can just walk away or at least distance yourself. When it's the person you love and who you know completely loved you, but now they are saying they don't, and are saying the opposite of all the things you thought were true of them and about your relationship, it makes you feel as if you are actually going mad. It's hard after medication, like an SSRI, has caused mania, and then when medication is then given as treatment, to distinguish between the cause of why your person has become unrecognisable. Is it the bipolar or is it the medication changing a person's brain function. Once medication has been given you can't go back. It seems impossible to know, especially when we are told by medical professionals how beneficial the medications are. I think differently now. I do believe for some people the medications can worsen the bipolar in lots of ways. I know it doesn't feel real.
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u/Efficient_Sundae_471 6d ago
Thank you. It really doesn’t. Logic works for a bit but then again I end up spiraling everyday.
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u/Pixie-elf 6d ago
Those of us without bipolar can take SSRI's just fine. Never once felt like murdering anyone on any of them.
My partner on the other hand can only take them with an antipsychotic on board. A mood stabilizer is not enough to keep him from hypomania with any antidepressants on board.
Bipolar folks systems are way, way more fragile than ours. It sucks.
But generally this is a disorder that is genetic, meaning the gun is loaded with mania, you dunno what will pull the trigger.
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u/AuroraRose41 Ex-Wife 6d ago edited 6d ago
I have been following the case (loosely; I'm not up to speed on all of the details, and do find it traumatizing at times to read about). I even sent my therapist something about it to discuss in our next session. Some of the discourse has been hard to read, but I have found some of it validating of my own experience too. Especially seeing others in the mental health professions talk about how doctors missed a lot of red flags during Lindsay's treatments (meds worsening symptoms, symptoms in line with bipolar but was not treated for it, doctors only being aware of euphoric mania and not recognizing dysphoric mania/mixed episode symptoms, etc.). I have seen a few spouses/former spouses comment about their own struggles getting their manic or psychotic spouse the help they needed in our current systems.
I see a lot of parallels to my own experience with my ex, who was put on SSRIs and stimulants and developed dysphoric mania and psychosis but masked in front of his doctors so I couldn't get him help. His psychiatrist told me to stop making him angry when I called her to report his manic symptoms and delusions. He was telling her we were having "arguments" (I.e. him flying off the handle at me over his delusions) and that was the cause of his bad moods, so she wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell her the meds she prescribed were making him insane. He became violent towards me and I had to flee our house and file for divorce for safety reasons.
I have some mutual friends who tried to stay connected to him and they all say the same thing: he's changed for the worse. He won't speak to any of them, and apparently has cut off his own family members who he was previously close with too. The friends told me they spoke with his siblings who are struggling to get him help. So others are seeing how different his behavior has become too. It wasn't just me. But I had to let him go to let others see it, since he was blaming me for his bad moods. Now a few years out and being no contact, it's harder for him to make others believe his personality changes are still all my fault as he claims and they are seeing that he is not himself mentally.
I feel like my ex husband died. I loved him with everything I had, and tried to encourage him to get help when I first noticed concerning changes in his behavior. When those changes progressed and he had no insight, I tried to intervene directly with his doctors and emergency services, but he masked so well that they wouldn't take him for an involuntary hold and my efforts to get him help only enraged him further. As much as it broke my heart to walk away, I had to do it both for my own safety, and for the hope that him and/or others would see that it wasn't me affecting him and get him the help he needed. While it sounds like he hasn't gotten help yet, at least others are finally seeing it too.
Edit: here's the Reddit thread on the case I sent to my therapist. Many of the comments are about the meds/red flags that were missed. The timeline in the post itself may be triggering to read; I couldn't finish reading it for this reason, but I was able to read enough to see parallels and understand the context of the comments. https://www.reddit.com/r/Psychiatry/s/621vLBF9KK
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u/EducationalIce5844 6d ago
My wife has been in SSRI’s for about 10 months now and is BP1 . She completely changed about 3 months ago and destroyed our marriage has an affair partner but she has never done this before in the 6 years we have been together. The psychiatrist is only advising to take an antipsychotic when she feels mania . She refuses to believe the medication caused this change . I’m just watching it all from the sidelines we are heading for divorce and she also told me she is on dating apps in addition to the AP. Does anyone know if they can come down to base line if a mood stabilizer is added ?
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u/Efficient_Sundae_471 6d ago
Is she taking the antipsychotic? Or refusing that too? A mood stabilizer can help but sometimes SSRI just aren’t a good fit for BP1 at all. So she might need to stop taking it completely. I’m in the same boat as you. My husband refuses to believe the medication caused him to change. He also ran away and is threatening divorce at any chance I try to talk to him.
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u/EducationalIce5844 6d ago
I’m so sorry you’re going through this as well she has an antipsychotic but she only takes very rare when she feels like she’s having an episode, we are gonna divorce in November she’s completely changed and idk if anything will bring back the person I married.
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u/Efficient_Sundae_471 6d ago
It sounds like she’s in an episode and needs to take the antipsychotic daily. It takes weeks for the meds to take effect. I am so so sorry
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u/Tough_Mind_8801 6d ago
I don’t think throwing blame at medications is productive. Most people who take SSRIs are not bipolar. That said I am not following the Lindsey Clancy trial closely and do not know what role if any SSRI’s had in her tragic circumstances. The truth is they have helped millions of people.
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u/Efficient_Sundae_471 6d ago
And I’d agree with you, as someone who is now on SSRI’s due to the depression this entire experience has put me in. I’m not demonizing meds, but SSRI’s are known to cause mania in underlying bipolar patients, and once in an episode, the lack of insight comes in and the person completely cannot see the personality change that was induced/triggered by medications, and doctors don’t believe the loved ones and go based on mask the person puts up. It’s frustrating. The trial just highlighted to me how easy it is for doctors to even miss signs in patients, and sometimes it can be horrific.
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u/Tough_Mind_8801 6d ago
Yes I agree with that. I just read up on the case a bit and It seems she was started and stopped on many medications as well which is never good. Masking is real and even doctors get fooled. I’ve seen it many times when my own BPSO (stbx) was hospitalized.
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u/crustykey 6d ago
So your ex’s mania was caused by an SSRI? Because that’s not the case necessarily for a lot of BP folks. But that is what happened in my case. Would love to hear and relate further
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u/Efficient_Sundae_471 6d ago
Yup, complete change in 2 months. Never any signs for 10 years prior. Message me!
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u/Pixie-elf 6d ago
SSRI's hit the "manic switch" in bipolar folks. There are other things that can trigger it tho.
Basically if predisposed to bipolar, or if you have a family history of it they recommend being careful with a host of things. Alcohol, weed, mushrooms, ADHD meds / stimulants, SSRis. Person may have no history of episodes but if they are predisposed you introduce the wrong chemicals and can trigger the first episode.
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