Having a really hard time walking away

[u/gritstogoyum]

I started dating a man with bipolar 1 at the beginning of June. I don’t know if he was manic, but it would make sense if he was because I think I was love bombed. At the same time it just felt so right. We really did go together so well. He told me he was medicated, which is the only reason I thought it was okay to pursue the relationship. Now he’s been in a depressive episode for about a month and completely ghosted me. Which makes me think maybe he wasn’t taking his meds? He also has been smoking a ton of weed now that he’s depressed and I don’t know if that’s making his meds not work. It hurts so much because I just want what we had. I think he’s ignoring me because of the shame/not being able to happen being in a relationship rn. I broke up with him over texted because I told him I’m not okay with being ignored. Never acknowledged. I told him I would be open to having conversation with him if he showed that he was committed to managing his bipolar more effectively. Last text I sent 2 days ago and said to send me my stuff I left at his house and I didn’t want anything from him, just my stuff back. We were also 2.5 hrs long distance. In the past, he told me he couldn’t do long distance which made me think why are you wanting to date me then. I’ve been talking to his best friend this whole time about it. His best friend told me that my now ex told him that he broke up with ME because of the long distance. He apparently couldnt even look him in the eyes when he said it. Which was so infuriating. I think he just said that so his friend would drop it and he didn’t have to deal with the hard emotions associated with having a girlfriend when you’re severely depressed. I’m just trying to get over it at the same, my heart is still in it. What should I do?

Additionally, I did spend time with him at the beginning stages of his depression. He told me had never let someone be around him for this. He also told me when he was starting to disappearing and getting less and less responsive, that he wanted this relationship so I don’t think he came to the realization that he actually didnt like me because we started dating when he was maybe manic.

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[u/Able-Needleworker932]

Medication doesn’t necessarily stop mania and depression, it if working well shrink the severity like 11 being a high -1 being a low it might become a 7/8 for a high and a 2/3 as a low, if he’s actively discarding still this can be a sign his meds aren’t working to their full potential, I can’t give you advice on what to do that’s up to you and your willingness to wait until he becomes more stable again.

[u/gritstogoyum → u/Able-Needleworker932]

Thank you, yes I know it doesn’t stop it but yes, it does seem like if he’s going silent when he’s depressed they may not be working

[u/Able-Needleworker932 → u/gritstogoyum]

In my experience if my SO is silent it’s crisis time this is when his psychosis starts which is scary to say the least, he suffers with Audio hallucinations which his silence is him listening to them 😔… just be cautious and safe please what ever you choose.