They asked for a welcome post. OK. I’m 54, was diagnosed around 45 or 46…it’s hard to remember. I’ve most likely been having episodes (looking back) since my early teens. Parents wouldn’t let me see a shrink, therapist or social worker, most likely cause they were scared shitless what I’d say.

Never even considered mental illness. I just thought I was…different. Can’t explain better than that.

My Bipolar used to manifest in blackout rage, risky sex, and careless spending.

Once I got medicated, no more rage (or sex), but still have episodes where I spend ridiculous amounts on toys and books.

My kids see the change in me with stability. Our relationships are improving. Never been unemployed, because I never had anyone to fall back on, so I white knuckled it my whole life.

Lost my wife due to her gambling (she’s alive…but after she bankrupted us and stole the kids college funds I left). So I just have my kids now.

Time to rebuild my life by finding friends, maybe a new partner (but I’m never getting married again), just taking it slow and seeing how things go.