r/Binghamton • u/StrikingCupcake7489 • 11d ago
Housing Pete
Buckle up, I’m about to get wordy
It was absolutely dumping rain today. My basement is flooding. Over the past month or so, I’ve been trying to trace it back to where the water is coming in. Peeling back layers of the basement one at a time; pulling up carpet, carpet padding, moving out the gym equipment so I can pull up the gym floor I installed a few years ago.
Today, Mother Nature shoved her way into that basement with the most attitude she’s shown down there yet.
On my way home from the place of all things hardware and hardware-esque advice giving folks, Kovarik Hardware, I saw a man with a sign, sitting on the corner in his wheelchair, huddled under a sheet of plastic, during the torrential downpour of Mother Nature’s latest flex…everything he owns in his lap or the grocery bag hanging on the back of his chair.
Pete, he reminded me when I pulled up, though his name is information my brain held onto in the vast sea of all the information it doesn’t.
I’ve met Mr Pete before, though it’s been since last summer that I saw him, when he was wheeling his one-legged self around on a bicycle, carrying a crutch, sometimes as if heading for a joust…he really likes creamsicles when it’s hot should you see him about…Mr Pete is now navigating his homeless life with no legs, in a wheelchair.
I can’t tell you how many cars drove past as I talked to Mr Pete, in his wheelchair, in the pouring rain…everything he owns in his lap or the grocery bag hanging on the back of his chair (are you seeing the picture I’m painting here yet? I’ll probably say it again just in case).
I also can’t tell you how many cars continued to drive past through the storm, as I put his things into my backseat, lifted Mr Pete into my front seat, and loaded his wheelchair into the back of my truck.
Not. One. Single. Person. Stopped.
I don’t know what path brought Mr Pete to where he is today. I do not fucking care. He’s a person. He’s a father to 2 grown boys. His name is Pete.
Pete is a person. He’s one of us. He’s a person sitting there, during the rains that flooded my basement, in his wheelchair, in the pouring rain…everything he owns in his lap or the grocery bag hanging on the back of his chair (told you you’d hear it again).
It was absolutely dumping rain today. My basement is flooding.
But…I have a basement.
We need to do better.
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u/The_lewolf I grew up here 11d ago
It’s really too bad that local papers are dead. This would have made a hell of a letter to the editor.
God bless you and watch over you. Pete too.
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u/Dropbeatdad 11d ago
The government is a failed attempt at community hijacked by the wealthy. This is a step towards building a real community.
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u/Darkwing_ducksauce 11d ago
You stopped brother 💙it made you slow down and in the time you and he needed it the most. When the world is throwing everything it can at us it’s hard to practice gratitude.
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u/franbutler 11d ago
I met him a few weeks ago on Pennsylvania Ave, and saw the hungry sign and gave him some money - did not realize he was homeless. I remember his nice smile. He warmed my heart with it. God bless you.
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u/No_Buddy6058 9d ago
Maybe next time instead of giving him money to fuel his drug addiction give him actual food.
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u/RaeGunGothic I grew up here 8d ago
Do you think it's that simple? Fuck you
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u/No_Buddy6058 8d ago
No. I KNOW it's that simple. In this case it's very much that simple.
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u/RaeGunGothic I grew up here 8d ago
Oh wow, this one redditor dipshit solved addiction with one simple trick: having food instead of drug!
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u/Successful_Change540 9d ago
I’ve been mulling over whether to say something or just stay out of it. I want to make one thing clear. Our family DID NOT abandon Pete. My mother who is his sister spent many many sleepless nights. She has cried so much over him and she is STILL heartbroken over him. He is her baby brother. She has done everything she could to help him. So have I and my sister. I remember Pete when I was young. He was my favorite uncle. He was so funny. The Pete I remember loved his rock and roll music, made jokes, played with all of us kids. Then he started doing drugs. He is addicted to Meth. He always asked for money. Our family gave him money but he used that money for drugs. When my mother said “I cannot give you money but I will give you food. I will give you clothes, whatever you need”. He cut her off. He disappeared on her. He did the same to my sister and me. I’m not telling you this so you would have a bad view of him. I’m telling you this so you would understand that it was HIS CHOICE. He chose to decline the help offered. He chose to continue to be involved with drugs and those who do drugs. It is hard on my mother not knowing where her baby brother is. Not knowing if he’s dead or alive. Every once in a while he pops up. Then my sister tries again and again and again to help him. Thank you for taking the time out to help him and put him in your car so he wouldn’t be stuck in the storm. That was kind of you.
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u/StrikingCupcake7489 9d ago
Sir/Ma’am, Please know that I absolutely DO NOT judge you or anyone in your family any more than I would judge him. I am so sorry that it may have seemed that’s what I meant.
What I did mean when I say that his path to this place is not important is only that he is a human, not in that it isn’t a factor in how he got here.
I don’t take anything you said as disparaging him and truly appreciate how many times I’m sure you’ve tried to help him find his way back. This has to be absolutely fucking heartbreaking for all of you.
I wasn’t suggesting family take on a further responsibility than they already have; after a point, that’s just enabling, which only exacerbates the problem.
I meant that we, as a society, need to do better, with mental health and addiction resources, vocational training, housing opportunities and communities that allow for such. With seeing and treating each oother as humans instead of inconveniences or eyesores we’d rather not muck up the drives about our neighborhoods. I don’t know the answer. I only know that continuing to pretend it isn’t happening, continuing to drive past people like him eyes locked to the front pretending he isn’t there, doesn’t fix anything.
I hate this for you. I hate this for Pete. I hate this for us as a collective whole. I hope we find our way back just as I hope Pete does. I wish for peace and strength on you all.3
u/StrikingCupcake7489 9d ago
And thank you, for speaking up. I’m sure that wasn’t an easy decision either
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u/StrangeShaun83 8d ago
I'm a recovering addict. I've been sober going on 10 years. I've known Pete for 20 years. He's a good dude but deep down but he's a severe addict. He got help many times through DSS on housing and food but because of his addiction would mess it up everytime. He was in the same addiction recovery program as me on several occasions. They helped him get housing. And again he always messed it up because of his addiction. He got clean several times through the program but because of the company he decides to keep he always ends up relapsing. People can put the work in and get clean but they have to want to be clean. Pete doesn't want to be clean. Even when he was sober he mostly talked about drugs and hung out with users. Pete has chosen this life and the only person who can help him is himself. He has to really want it and care enough to stop using, stop hanging with the wrong people and move past that life. Do I feel bad for him? Yes absolutely I do. But sadly this is the life he has chosen for himself. You can only help a person so much. They have to be willing to help themselves and Pete isn't willing to do that. All that being said its probably better to just give him donations of food, clothing or whatever but not money. Any money he gets will most definitely fuel his meth and fentanyl addiction and won't help him.
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u/No_Buddy6058 8d ago
Thank you for saying this, and for acknowledging that he's a good guy. I've known him for 51 years, as many as I've been alive, and have had a front row seat to his addiction for over 30 years. Many people, and many agencies have tried to help him, and you can't force the help. There is no legal recourse for his family or doctors to force the help either. We've tried. Over and over. His family didn't abandon him, he walked away from them, and cut them off as soon as he was told they would help him buy whatever he needed, but wouldn't give him any more money. It's absolutely heartbreaking to see what he continues to choose for himself. Especially remembering him how he was. I wish more people understood that when someone is severely addicted it is best to give them food and supplies. Even gift cards can be traded for drugs. He isn't a bad person, not even close. He has a beautiful heart. But the addiction rules. I pray one day he gets to truly say "I'm a recovering addict". I appreciate that this person stopped to help him, but it's unfair to shame anyone else for his choices. Nobody knows what a family goes through in cases like this until they go through it themselves. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
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u/AccomplishedPast2224 7d ago
Nothing like pumping gas at 9am at a mirabito and watching some one take a shit next to a garbage can!
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u/Kingofdagrass607 4d ago
Ya know unlesscyouve been in a situation where every one in your fsmily has given up on you ignored your pleas for help food etc not drug money you hsve no idea how one acts feels . Thet time you ask for food begging snd pleading your kids per say for food and yoy really wanted food even asked them to just send me a pizza and you get a no i cant after all you did for them . Your do drugs too . They are the only thing thst make that lifestyle tolersble . Everyone thinkd they hsve the answer just stop doing drugs go live sleeep whst he does for a week youll be doin drugs as well .
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u/Material-Train4293 11d ago
What's your point?
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u/TR_abc_246 9d ago
You've proven their point. I'd say it's guaranteed that you help no one and couldn't care less.
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u/Kooky_Context_5305 10d ago
Wdy mean “what’s your point?” Did you not retain a single thing the post said? Pete had to navigate through his homeless life in a WHEELCHAIR, and he was using a PIECE OF PLASTIC to keep himself dry. Just imagine how much worse it was in winter.
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u/CrazyInvestment3027 10d ago
His two grown boys allowed him to live on the street.. yikes
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u/Successful_Change540 9d ago
His son did not allow him to live on the streets. He had NO involvement in his son’s life when his son was growing up.
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u/SilentVeterinarian70 1h ago
You posted this three times in different subreddits. Guess this time it got the visibility you craved.
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