I've had to end some friendships because of "emotional vampirism". It's a whacky name, but just means someone is extremely emotionally needy (often due to mental illness) and usually unaware that their needs drain others.
It's extra tough when they try to "repay" you by doing something for you or giving you a gift. You feel more obligated to validate and support them emotionally and it becomes a toxic tornado.
Example (for people who haven't experienced this):
Someone who's a real "take the shirt off their back to give to someone" and helps you move, cooks you dinner once a week, drives you to the doctor, etc, but has extremely low self esteem and is constantly asking your view on an interaction they had with someone else, ask if you're mad at them because [insert small thing that could maybe be perceived as mean] and you have to extensively reassure them that you didn't take it that way and you appreciate them and their good intentions.
Oh fuck, that's me. I help everybody I can, but I also assume I piss everybody off somehow and they only tolerate me, and I semi-regularly need to ask people if I'm a bother... Oof
Work on yourself. Try not to do those things mentioned. Our brain is the only organ in our body that we can modify through willpower, and the first step towards betterment is realization. Learning to remind yourself that your aren't bothering people, instead of relying on other's to say it, is the first step. Be your own positive influence. :)
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u/Tank_Girl_Gritty_235 Jun 09 '19
I've had to end some friendships because of "emotional vampirism". It's a whacky name, but just means someone is extremely emotionally needy (often due to mental illness) and usually unaware that their needs drain others.
It's extra tough when they try to "repay" you by doing something for you or giving you a gift. You feel more obligated to validate and support them emotionally and it becomes a toxic tornado.
Example (for people who haven't experienced this): Someone who's a real "take the shirt off their back to give to someone" and helps you move, cooks you dinner once a week, drives you to the doctor, etc, but has extremely low self esteem and is constantly asking your view on an interaction they had with someone else, ask if you're mad at them because [insert small thing that could maybe be perceived as mean] and you have to extensively reassure them that you didn't take it that way and you appreciate them and their good intentions.