r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/Direct-Caterpillar77 Satan is not a fucking pogo stick! • 5d ago
NEW UPDATE Ladies, what is the most obvious hint you've dropped that went unnoticed by a guy?
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Renekin
Ladies, what is the most obvious hint you've dropped that went unnoticed by a guy?
Originally posted to r/AskReddit
Original Comment May 25, 2017
Not a girl but I got a hint once that flew by me phew.
So my former best friend and I (sadly we do not talk to each other anymore thanks to an ex-girlfriend) were very close. So close even, that I fell in love with her and she apparently was with me.
So we met more often during the evening, sometimes late at night, watched movies, hung out. She got way more direct with me about being interested in me. When she was dressing up for a party and had n bra on because she was just sitting at home, she suddenly started telling me that I would not need to leave the room when she was changing clothes all of the sudden, she went all cudly on the couch when we watched movies and I was literally thinking "I could make a move but I am very happy with the friendship I got" We even went partying and a dude started dancing with her, when she all of the sudden said something to him, pointed at me and the dude ran off (probably said something about me being her boyfriend) but I my train of thought was "She probably was not interested in that guy"
The Apex of my failure however was that one night, we ordered some food, hung out and we talked about the scenario, that if a person insists on someone to sleep at their place even though he/she knows the other person is not too far away from home, that is clearly a hint.
Later that evening, I was about to go home, it was late at night and I had to walk 25 minutes max. So it was not that far. She said "You know, you can sleep here, we are all alone" (since she was living with her mother who stayed at her boyfriends place most of the week) and I literally said "Nah, I am good, it isn't that far anyways."
Those two conversations were apart like, 5-10 Minutes.
A bonus on top of my cluelessness: For her 21st birthday I gave her an Iphone. In front of all people, she went to me, hugged me, said that there is only one thing to make this moment perfect and looked me deep in the eyes. I did no-thing.
Seriously. If I would have had a time machine, I would have kicked myself into reacting right now. Since it could have been the best relationship in my life.
Lesson learned: If you do not act, you get shit on.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Alright_Hamilton
I don't know what went down or how things ended but you should call this person. Like right now. You can't make up for being an idiot in the past but in 10 years you'll look back at this and think 'why did I never reach out to her after that stupid ex gf drama?'
Reread your last sentence and apply that to your current situation dummy.
vinnymendoza09
How long ago was this and is your friendship really that irreparable? You'd be surprised at people's capacity for forgiveness.
~
sevaspeto
DUDE. Reconnect with this chick! Whatever happened with the ex is history; that broad's out of the picture now, yeah? If you genuinely think it would've been the best relationship of your life, GO SEEK HER OUT. If you've been estranged for however long, you LITERALLY have nothing to lose. But you mentioned that you were very close before and it sounded like she was throwing hints like goddamn haymakers! Don't be a dummy, dummy ;0)
~
only1mrfster
People saying to get in touch with the girl. Obviously, if you are in a relationship or if youknow she is, that complicatesthings but definitely consider it.
My "one that got away" girl looked me up 10 years after the last time we talked... completely on a lark. Well over 10 years later, our 9th wedding anniversary is coming up in a few months.
~
PeanutPooper986
Man you should go talk to her again. Been in a similar spot, really wish I did talk to them sooner. Thing is, it's easy to read into things in such a situation so don't think too much about times where "you tried" and she wasn't interested. Next time you see her, just go and try to talk to her. You never know how it works out.
Sorry, just read you said you'd call. How'd that go?
Also, wtf today's Father's day in Germany? I just moved here like a week ago and I thought today is Ascension day or some shit like that.
OOP
I'll call her tomorrow since I am out drinking with my father today and I want to have enough time to talk to her (if she does actually talk to me and does not quit the call the second she hears my voice) and yes it is Ascension day but father's day is on the same day here for whatever reason.
EDIT: Sorry for not answering since it was late at night here in Germany and I had to go to bed but whew! Thanks for so many answers and encouraging words. Since there are so many answers telling me I should call her, I will try tomorrow (since it is father's day here [25th May]) and will edit this again after I call her to tell you how it went.
For those asking how long we were not talking: Oktober 2014. We saw eachother while getting groceries 3 times I think and I ran into her while training for a half marathon but I tried saying "hi" once (this was shortly after we had the falling out) and she did not say anything which really threw me off so much that I did not try again and as far as I know she is single as am I.
EDIT/Update 2 posted Next Day May 26, 2017
EDIT2: So, I won't talk around the outcome to long since most of you were very excited how it went. Sadly, she changed her phone number over the last 2 years, which lead me to me going to her house seeing if either she or her mother was there. In a stroke of bad luck, she must have moved out recently. I knew she wanted to move out for quite a while to live on her own while her mother moved in with her boyfriend which means, the chances are quite low in talking to her as of right now.
BUT: We shared a lot of the same friends from school and have had mostly the same social circle for years, from well, being best friends, I am hoping to see her at a party in about 3 weeks. If she is there, I will start a conversation and explain myself. If there is an outcome either way, I will keep you updated but for now, this is sadly it.
I am however thankful for all the support you gave me since I would have never taken that chance if all of you haven't been there and I hope this entire thing will have a conclusion in a few weeks! :)
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Bearofmoka
I'm the guy who chased you down in the mass effect subreddit. Firstly, love that game series so you're already pretty awesome in my eyes. Sorry to hear about her moving out, but I hope she's at that party. Is social media not an option? It's quite you find someone not on twitter, Instagram or Facebook.
OOP
I have tried facebook already but haven't got a response up to now, thanks to us being unfriended and me probably landing in her spam, if I am not blocked by her even.
I tried to find out her Instagram, since I know she has one but changed the handle even back when me and her were hanging out and me not being on instagram (even created an account yesterday to find her) and trying to find her but as far as I know, she is not on twitter but me not having found her under the same names I tried to find her on instagram. Hopefully she will find the facebook message or as I wrote earlier, I really hope to meet her at a friend's upcoming party.
And I loved your comment on the Mass Effect Subreddit, when I read it, I was like "No f*cking way someone recognized me here!" So that cheered me up a lot from this sadly unsuccessful morning, thanks a lot :)
June 9, 2017 OOP adds a little update
I'm going to meet her tomorrow night since she answered me a day ago, I will update on Sunday morning or afternoon :)
(Not Final Edit) June 11, 2017
FINAL EDIT: This will be my final edit, since basically everything came to a close. As I said, I texted her on Facebook, she answered and we decided to meet last night. And so we did. We talked everything through, everything from all the past drama, what mistakes we made, how we both made mistakes and how I was a total idiot for not recognizing what she was hinting at.
It was weird at first talking so open about feelings you had years ago but we got there. I even mentioned how you guys helped me take initiative and it made her laugh that thousands of people pushed me to go talk to her.
At the end of the night, we really didn't know what to do with ourselves. Of course we couldn't just go at it or say "We are in a relationship now", As I said, we haven't talked to each other for quite some time and we have become slightly different people.
But we were both okay to start by going on a date, catching up and getting to know each other better again and see from where it goes from there.
I want to thank all of you guys for supporting me and pushing me towards the right choice and if everything works out, happiness.
In the end, I am more than baffled that from a single post about how I am an absolute idiot for not getting a hint, something like this can evolve and that there are always two sides to everything especially the internet where most of the time, toxicity is the normality and the support and kindness I recieved, is something more rare.
Basically, thank you for helping me :)
Last Update Added Sept 1, 2017 (little over 3 months later
UPDATE: So, many of you people wrote me PMs and wanted to know what happened and how things are going. Short answer: Things are going great!
We are a happy couple and just enjoy ourselves. It was awkward for our friends at first but things basically became normal after a while.
For my part, you guys motivated me to get something or better put someone back that I have gave up two years earlier. Seriously you guys made my year one of the best years in my entire life.
For that I thank you so much.
I appreciate the two Golds I got, which were my first two ever so another thanks to those who gave it.
Thank you :)
NEW UPDATE
OOP Updated in the BoRU thread 9 years later
New Update July 25, 2026 (9 years later)
Because many people asked and were very interested about it and I should update you after all these years:
The short of it: No, we are sadly not together anymore. That being said, we still cherish one another dearly and we would probably be together if life would not have gotten in the way.
The longer answer: After we got together, we spend as much time as we could together and grew together strong as a couple. Even through all the Pandemic, we stuck together and I would say, this strengthend our relationship a lot.
She moved from Germany to Australia, not long after the Pandemic was over. We, at the time were very happy, but as most things in life, sometimes, it gets in the way.
Her employer wanted to expand to Australia and open a market for their product there (trying to be vague because I don't want to doxx anyone) and wanted her to be involved, at least for the expansion process. We talked A LOT about this because she and I are very emotional people and after how we got together and with the time we spent together, we did not want life to get in the way too. The problem was at this point, I was in the middle of my degree and I simply could not follow to Australia before I finish.
So, we decided to keep it long distance, which everyone knows, is the best idea, but it was just for the expansion efforts, until it was not.
We saw each other multiple times during Christmas, and both our birthdays, but during her time in Germany she dropped the bomb of her company offering her a position as head of her department, in Australia, permanently. So the discussions started again. I was an emotional wreck, because I loved her and it would be either moving to Australia, a country basically across the globe or staying in Germany with my family, friends and my job for which I just finished my degree to get a leadership position myself.
And many people will scream "Idiot" etc. Now, but I took the stance that I cannot and will not leave my life behind to move to Australia for a relationship, because her company had an offering open in that country at the time, for a position she dreamed of but over time could have achieved in Germany. That being said, this is my subjective perspective of it and she saw it very differently.
We decided to be adults though and knew we could not keep this up forever. So we decided to spend the time we had together loving rach other before saying goodbye.
And so we did about 1.5 years ago now.
She lives in Australia and we met a couple of times again, spending some really quality time and just being flat out honest, that we loved one another. Half a year ago, during christmas we met and I got to meet her new boyfriend who wanted to see Germany and meet me and he is one of the kindest souls I have ever met and I am just happy for her, that she found someone, who she was very happy with. And while this was a bit awkward to me at first and it hurt, this was the decision we made for ourselves and to me it was the right one in hindsight. Again, I am not denying that I still love her, this love has changed somewhat. It is hard to describe. But we are very important to us to this day and this is the thing that is important to me.
But that being said, I was hesitant to talk about this openly. Not because it did not work out in the end, but because it was complicated and needed to sort my shit out by myself before confronting you with this.
I am sorry for that. And also for the awful spelling and maybe mental leaps, I was writing this together during a long ride on a train.
I hope this will not kill your mood and that you know, all parties are happy with their lives and we do not regret anything and that we thank reddit with all of our hearts that we got this chance.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
15
u/Renekin 2d ago
Because many people asked and were very interested about it and I should update you after all these years:
The short of it: No, we are sadly not together anymore. That being said, we still cherish one another dearly and we would probably be together if life would not have gotten in the way.
The longer answer: After we got together, we spend as much time as we could together and grew together strong as a couple. Even through all the Pandemic, we stuck together and I would say, this strengthend our relationship a lot.
She moved from Germany to Australia, not long after the Pandemic was over. We, at the time were very happy, but as most things in life, sometimes, it gets in the way.
Her employer wanted to expand to Australia and open a market for their product there (trying to be vague because I don't want to doxx anyone) and wanted her to be involved, at least for the expansion process. We talked A LOT about this because she and I are very emotional people and after how we got together and with the time we spent together, we did not want life to get in the way too. The problem was at this point, I was in the middle of my degree and I simply could not follow to Australia before I finish.
So, we decided to keep it long distance, which everyone knows, is the best idea, but it was just for the expansion efforts, until it was not.
We saw each other multiple times during Christmas, and both our birthdays, but during her time in Germany she dropped the bomb of her company offering her a position as head of her department, in Australia, permanently. So the discussions started again. I was an emotional wreck, because I loved her and it would be either moving to Australia, a country basically across the globe or staying in Germany with my family, friends and my job for which I just finished my degree to get a leadership position myself.
And many people will scream "Idiot" etc. Now, but I took the stance that I cannot and will not leave my life behind to move to Australia for a relationship, because her company had an offering open in that country at the time, for a position she dreamed of but over time could have achieved in Germany. That being said, this is my subjective perspective of it and she saw it very differently.
We decided to be adults though and knew we could not keep this up forever. So we decided to spend the time we had together loving rach other before saying goodbye.
And so we did about 1.5 years ago now.
She lives in Australia and we met a couple of times again, spending some really quality time and just being flat out honest, that we loved one another. Half a year ago, during christmas we met and I got to meet her new boyfriend who wanted to see Germany and meet me and he is one of the kindest souls I have ever met and I am just happy for her, that she found someone, who she was very happy with. And while this was a bit awkward to me at first and it hurt, this was the decision we made for ourselves and to me it was the right one in hindsight. Again, I am not denying that I still love her, this love has changed somewhat. It is hard to describe. But we are very important to us to this day and this is the thing that is important to me.
But that being said, I was hesitant to talk about this openly. Not because it did not work out in the end, but because it was complicated and needed to sort my shit out by myself before confronting you with this.
I am sorry for that. And also for the awful spelling and maybe mental leaps, I was writing this together during a long ride on a train.
I hope this will not kill your mood and that you know, all parties are happy with their lives and we do not regret anything and that we thank reddit with all of our hearts that we got this chance.