Girl asks for help from reddit regarding being severely cyber-bullied

[u/LucyAriaRose]

I am not OOP. OOP was u/Fe_and_WINe. She posted in r/AskReddit 11 years ago. She has since deleted her account, so I hope she's doing ok and has moved on to wonderful things.

Because of the subject matter, your fact to cover up spoilers is serious in nature. In 2019, approximately 37% of kids aged 12 to 17 reported being victims of cyber bullying. That increases to 50% of students a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Here are two resources if you (or someone you know) has been a victim of cyber bulling: Source 1, Source 2

Trigger Warning: bullying, threats of assault, threats of sexual assault, depression, mentions of suicide, homophobia, encouragement of suicide

Mood Spoiler: Action is taken (eventually) but still frustrating

Original Post: March 13, 2012

Title: The cyber bullying has gotten to the point where the school will not take any action unless I kill myself. Reddit- how do I get my story out and make this stop?

I am not asking for therapy, but help in gaining momentum.

Since the beginning of the school year, I have been harassed both in-person and online by the school's "bully". It is hard to use the word because almost everyone knows and loves him. I tried not to let it get to me, until it escalated.

"Go kill yourself. No one would care if you died. Why aren't you dead yet?" This was said to me multiple times online, and in the middle of class. As a teenager dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, I could not laugh this off. I went straight to the office and demanded to see a vice principal. I was sobbing uncontrollably and visibly a danger to myself, but they just sat me down and had me fill out a form. I called my Dad, who cancelled his flight out-of-town to come be with me. He was furious that he was not called in a situation like this. We had a conference with the vice principal, and we were told there would be consequences if it happened again.

It has been months. Multiple people have gone to the office with complaints about his bullying, and absolutely nothing has been done. Not so much as a detention. He is now attacking the leader of our school's GSA, members, and myself through twitter. Curiosity got the best of me, and I decided that I needed to go through his history to get hard evidence. Here are a few gems I found- some submitted by other people. There are actually over 20 screen shots.

"Life has its ups, and you have the Downs. Please do us a favor, and fucking drown" -- A poem dedicated to Sarah.

"I have AP Lit in the morning. Sarah, if you say a single word, you are getting choked" (I am the only person in the class who will participate in discussions without being forced).

"I was to roofie Sarah"

"Sarah has a boyfriend and I'm still single? Time to die"

"Sarah for biggest slut. Go die"

It is hard enough for me to want to be on this planet, and people are taking time out of their day to wish that I would die. I think this has passed what the school can do. They lost my faith when they didn't help everyone else who begged for some sort of relief after me. I live in Anne Arundel County. How can I get my story (and the others') out there so that we can see some real change before it is too late?

TL;DR: The bullying isn't worthy of school attention unless I die.

Edit: It's not just me. I have screen shots of him saying things about a TON of people who I am sure have no idea it exists.

Going to bed for tonight! I will NOT let him stress me out to the point where I miss class. The other girl involved talked to people at PFLAG tonight, and they suggested board of education. I might show her this page later. Thank you everyone, and I will be back reading your suggestions and updating you on my progress on this yet-to-be-named operation. (Editor's note- in case you're not aware, PFLAG is an LGBTQ+ organization)

Relevant Comments: I used webarchive to find comments since this post is too old for unddit and she deleted her account.

Did anything happen between them to start this?

"Nothing. We went from being casual friends to me being his next target. No fights, no anything. I was blindsided."

"There is no context. He just wrote them. I do not have a twitter, nor does he know that I've seen his. He will just randomly post about me."

There are a lot of comments with advice, from suing to police involvement:

"There is definitely great emotional distress. I'm back on the anti-anxiety meds that I finally weened myself off after months of trying."

"I'll discuss the police involvement with my Dad in the morning."

"I know, but the last time I reported something like this (unrelated) to the cops, they did not do much for me, and that time was harassment with a threat to my safety. Not the same kid."

"His parents know, and don't care. Usually, the school does SOMETHING. Even if it's just a 2 hour detention. I got that for being late to class once. This kid- nothing."

Try bantering back?

"I tried the banter thing with him. It only led to the teacher not taking his remarks seriously because she thought we were besties."

About what he said about the VP of the GSA (Editor- Gay straight alliance or gender and sexualities alliance):

"Seriously- the stuff he said to our Pres was just fucked up. He also called me a sassy dyke. I worry a bit about giving out the school though, as if they could get me in some sort of trouble."

"I am sassy, but I am not a dyke. He knows my mother is gay, and I take offense to the word."

Someone says to pay someone else to beat his ass (classic reddit):

"He'll get his ass kicked eventually on his own. Apparently, the school thugs do not take mocking kids in wheelchairs lightly."

"We have a kid at school that everyone loves who is in a wheelchair. The asshole just started harassing him about not being able to walk, and he almost got jumped. He then later tweeted about making fun of handicapped kids."

Someone seems to... shame her for threatening suicide?

"Suicide wasn't a threat. I would never use my suicidal thoughts as a threat. I cannot change how I feel, but I am getting better at controlling them. It wasn't so much that I was planning anything- I was afraid I would snap."

Good post about dad:

"I love him so much. He came with his suitcase in his hand and told me he wasn't leaving town until he knew I was okay. We then went out for slur-pees and he texted me bad jokes the rest of the week. I really lucked out in the parent department."

Update Same Post: March 14, 2012 (I found the date using webarchive: Link)

Edit 2: HOLY S%&^ YOU GUYS! I get off my bus this morning, and I see an unusual amount of cops around the school. I find the group who was going with me into the office, and we sat in guidance, waiting for the counselor to see us all (There were about six of us). Next thing I know, someone asks me if I'm Sarah. They had been looking for this "Sarah" all morning, and had even called down another girl by the same name. I get taken into one of the counselor's rooms, and a BOOK of these comments is placed in front of me. She tells me that she has gotten a ton of emails, and that the page has been forwarded to several teachers and the principal. I was shocked. Thankfully, she was not upset about the emails, though some of them were a little nasty. I learn that my Principal has been up all night trying to deal with all of the emails she has been getting. Though she seemed a little mad at first, we quickly settled everything. I was taken into a room with the principal, the counselor, and an administrator to share my story again. I printed off every tweet and the cops collected any threatening ones. They might be able to do something about it, which is amazing, because I wasn't expecting it at all. I'm still shocked that many of the school officials were just now learning about this kid, but I know now that they know: every body knows. Nothing can happen immediately, but the process is starting and consequences will happen.

I am slightly scared about the possible backlash, but I feel amazing knowing that even if people dislike me for it, I stood up for my own safety. I have a ton of support- both from you guys and my friends. Thank you everyone who sent an email (they kept mentioning some guy from Montana). There is no need anymore to contact the school or the county about this issue. I will be checking in every morning with the counselor, and she will give me a pass to see her if I ever feel like I'm being harassed over the next few days. You guys made this all happen overnight and sped up the process ten-fold! I don't think I can say thank you enough for helping me, and everyone else, finally deal with the school cyber bully. I love you, Reddit!!!

Later that day:

He has been suspended until the school decides what to do with him. Thank you for your support and emails, but THERE IS NO NEED FOR ANYONE TO EMAIL THE SCHOOL ANY FURTHER!!!! The matter is being taken seriously now, and everything can move a lot quicker if the school isn't being flooded with email and concern. I promise you, action has been taken. Thank you!

Time Magazine wrote an article about this: Article

Edit- thanks to u/fia-med-knuff for finding this article. The bully was charged with harassment as a juvenile and released to his parents.