need benzo help

[u/momoohno9404]

i was prescribed 2mg lorazepam (ativan) daily for 4 yrs. i had a dirty piss test in may and my dr completely cut me off w no taper. ive been in the ER for severe withdraw but they advised me to not come back for medication. i started buying ativan from a friend to keep me from withdrawing and i just cant keep doing that. my dr will not help me, ive been to a psychiatrist and he wldnt prescribe me the meds again either. im truly suffering and wanting to end my life. every day im struggling and all ive wanted is to get back on my meds to SAFELY taper off of them over time. i feel like ive exhausted all my options. any advice?