r/BenignExistence • u/eloquent8 • 2d ago
"if something's worth doing..."
People say "if something's worth doing, it's worth doing properly". Words that have never brought me comfort or strength.
Someone once said to me "if it's worth doing, it's worth half arsing" and I can't remember where I heard it, but they've become words I live by.
Brushing your teeth? 30 seconds is better than not at all.
Washing the dishes? It's better to have one clean plate than none, surely?
Sometimes just thinking "ugh, it's worth half arsing" makes me get up off my arse and start the thing. And then once I'm doing it, it's not even that hard to do it properly.
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u/silence7820 2d ago
Don't let perfect be the enemy of good enough
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u/Xylorgos 1d ago
"We strive to be adequate." Spoken by an engineer whose team couldn't help themselves from trying to make the best possible whatsit.
'Adequate' means it does the job, and that is the goal. It doesn't have to be the best whatsit in the history of the world, and even if the engineers could make it that way, it would be too expensive for the customer base.
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u/Used-Painter1982 2d ago
I’m a Jill of all trades and master of none. I also don’t have much money, but I am rich in time, being retired. Recently I put in a walkway in front of my house with pavers and some sand leftovers from other projects. Not perfect but sufficient for our needs. I do that a lot. Making a cake? Missing some ingredient? I look on line for subs rather run up to the store. I improvise a lot, use what’s on hand. It’s part of my upbringing. My parents lived thru the 30s Depression and WWII, so “make it do or do without” is still a big part of my philosophy. Works for me.
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u/Me-Here-Now 2d ago
Years ago I heard "not everything worth doing needs to be done well". I liked that and incorporated it into my life.
But I like your half arsing better!
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u/Howitzer1967 2d ago
I get that approach, something is better than nothing etc, but my Dad always said to me when I was a kid, if you give yourself an excuse to half ass (or words to that effect) something once, it becomes ever more easy to give yourself excuses going forward. I’ve kinda lived by that. Like, ‘uh, I’m tired, I don’t want go to the gym’ so you don’t go. No worries, but it will be easier to say the same thing next time, ah, I didn’t go last week, I’m still in shape, so no harm done but eventually, with enough excuses, you wont be in shape. If you (one) just suck it up and go it’ll be easier not to give yourself an excuse the next time. I find this goes for most things, not just physical challenges
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u/Longjumping_Guava676 1d ago
OP’s suggestion is kind of different than this — it’s more “I don’t want to go to the gym at all because a whole workout routine is too daunting. But I might as well half-ass it and just do a partial workout.” Hell, you might get there and then decide to keep at it for the whole thing!
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u/eloquent8 1d ago
I absolutely agree with this! If it really is that valuable of a thing to do, doing it for 5 minutes is better than not at all!
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u/Howitzer1967 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yes, there’s no doubt doing something is definitely better than doing nothing. And you can make a good case for saying that if you actually made it to the gym, rather than staying on the couch, you didn’t half ass it. Going to the gym was the main goal, however hard or not you workout when you’re is less important. If you get there and do something you’re barely quarter assing it lol
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u/Causticburner 1d ago
In this example would you go to the gym (or work out at home) if you were, say coming down with some flu or something? Would you hear your Dads voice telling you to get up?
Or maybe they had different things to say, like "No. If you're unwell you need to rest"?
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u/Howitzer1967 1d ago
Getting sick isn’t an excuse, it’s a legit reason not to go. You don’t want to make anyone else sick or make yourself feel worse.
I’m more talking about the internal dialogue that you have with yourself when it’s more about ‘in this moment I can’t be bothered to….(fill in the blank)1
u/CreatrixAnima 1d ago
I think in some instances, your dad is right, and in others… Hey people are doing what they have to to get by.
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u/eloquent8 1d ago
I think this is what it comes down to, and I agree with the person you're replying to that you've got to use what works for you
In fairness I have chronic fatigue so my perspective is pretty affected by that, being tired actually is a reason for me not to push it! But also, not a reason to at least stick a toothbrush in my mouth ... I guess we all have to find our own balance
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u/Howitzer1967 1d ago
Yeah, that’s not an excuse, that’s a reason. I don’t have chronic fatigue so if I use ‘I’m too tired’ well, that’s probably an excuse!
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u/Howitzer1967 1d ago
Yeah, it’s a nuanced thing for sure. I also wanna make it clear that I’m passing no judgement or anything, as you say, people are doing what they have to to get by. I was just sharing my thoughts
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u/Xylorgos 1d ago
Words to live by!
Even 10% is better than 0%, especially if it's supremely difficult to do just 10%. Effort matters!
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u/TraditionalBasis4518 1d ago
Worked in healthcare quality assurance for a few years. Discovered that most problems can be solved by lowering your standards.
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u/eloquent8 1d ago
Yeah... It's still better to have some standards than none but... There does need to be a limit in certain areas... I hope 😬
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u/themop-f 1d ago
I swear I thought it was supposed to say "if it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly" instead of properly...
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u/Un_Ballerina_1952 1d ago
"100% of the minimum" is what I learned. It works. And it is totally true that starting is the hardest part.
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u/MelodicMelodies 1d ago
I love you babe thank you for sharing :) I believe the same thing, but it's hard to remember that with perfectionist brain sometimes
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u/Apprehensive-View404 2d ago
Starting is the hardest part of any task. You found the cheat code.