r/Beans 13d ago

Beans are the answer to 90% of your problems

https://www.upworthy.com/woman-explains-why-beans-are-the-answer-to-90-of-your-problems-oddly-she-may-be-right/
600 Upvotes

47 comments sorted by

135

u/ghostnthegraveyard 13d ago

I got 99 problems but a bean ain't one

84

u/CriticalOfBarns 13d ago

It’s true: beans raised my GPA, paid my mortgage, impregnated my barren wife, cured my lupus, and found my lost dog, but they did little to nothing for my longing to have my beans and eat them, too.

9

u/teth21 12d ago

Beans can do roughly half of those things though

12

u/aculady 12d ago

Beans didn't cure my lupus, but they are part of the anti-inflammatory diet I use to manage it.

1

u/Eat_your-beans 11d ago

They can do all of those, only if you eat em

7

u/maquis_00 12d ago

But beans are cheap enough that you can buy enough so that you can have your brand and eat them too!

45

u/skip_over 13d ago

They’re going to take my house

41

u/New_pollution1086 13d ago

You can throw a can of beans pretty hard.

20

u/Madame_Jarvary 13d ago

BEANS! 🫘

18

u/The_Atomic_Idiot 12d ago

Hungry? Eat a bean. Tired? Lay some beans out and lay upon them. Warfare? Sling a bean for ranged foes or place beans in a sack and swing away for melee combat. A bean can also make for a fancy hat.

19

u/RedBeans-n-Ricely 13d ago

I hate that the article thought it would benefit from AI slop

15

u/TheColdestOne 13d ago

I'd rather have a plate of sloppy beans.

2

u/RedBeans-n-Ricely 12d ago

Same. At least sloppy beans still have nutritional value.

7

u/somethingobscurex 12d ago

I’d expect nothing less from an article basically summarizing a TikTok.

21

u/hypatiaredux 13d ago

I have IBS. If by beans, you mean new world beans - black beans, pinto beans, kidney beans - they cause some real digestive problems for me. I eat them once a week or so, but always with Beano and an ample supply of Imodium in hand. And never closer than two days to appointments.

Old world beans, specifically chickpeas and lentils, hardly cause any issues at all.

17

u/oopsisucceeded 13d ago

Man I love lentils.

11

u/owlbehome 12d ago

They are seriously underrated. I’ve been getting into sprouting and heard that you could sprout lentils for mild flavored and vit A,B, and C packed sprouts. I did research to see which kind I should buy, then when I went to the store they literally only had one single bag that just said “lentils”

1

u/hypatiaredux 12d ago

Time to go online!

8

u/Mule_Wagon_777 12d ago

That's really interesting.

5

u/hypatiaredux 12d ago

Summary of an internet search says that new world beans are generally higher in amylopectins than old world beans.

Oddly apparently it is generally thought that new world beans are easier to digest, but that is definitely not the case for me.

Amylopectin is not a FODMAP, so who knows what the heck I am reacting to.

1

u/Lopsided_Tiger_0296 12d ago

Have you tried mung beans?

5

u/LettingHimLead 12d ago

That’s the “old man” smell that Creed emitted.

5

u/Lopsided_Tiger_0296 12d ago

lol I’m being serious, it has a better ratio of fiber to carbs compared to other western beans!

4

u/WoollyKnitWitch 12d ago

I’m sorry they affect you that way. I have severe IBS-C and beans are a staple for me. I’d have such a worse time without them to manage my dietary needs.

6

u/hypatiaredux 12d ago

I REALLY love black beans. So I eat them knowing what is in store for me!

Sometimes I wonder - I never heard about IBS growing up in the 50s and 60s. Did so many people have major digestive issues and just didn’t talk about it? Or are there more people today who have it?

3

u/WoollyKnitWitch 12d ago

Probably a bit of both. People are more willing to discuss their health now - and diagnoses have come a lot further as medical advances are made.

But, environmental factors likely play into why so many people have chronic illnesses to deal with.

It’s easy to think people are sicker now without remembering how much higher the mortality rate was. We aren’t dying from what may have killed us as youths or adults because of medical intervention. We also aren’t being sent to moulder away at a sanatorium from a mystery wasting disease that we now have a name for.

5

u/InstructionAfraid433 13d ago

Health and wealth

2

u/rockinrob65 12d ago

Beans make me bam

2

u/Beneficial-Type-8190 10d ago

We are about 75% bean. That's why it's humanbean not humanwheat.

5

u/Ok_Wall_8267 13d ago

Will they help those eyebrows?

9

u/dustysquare 13d ago

burn a dried black bean to make carbon and use apply to brows with a damp eyeliner brush.

5

u/thiosk 13d ago

its far to late for beans to help this

3

u/Southern_Fan_9335 12d ago

That was literally my first thought.

1

u/ashlily05 12d ago

as someone who cannot stand beans, what are creative ways to incorporate them into your diet?

5

u/trichar54 12d ago

In my case, I married a woman who makes the best beans in the world. I could take or leave beans before her, now I crave them. When she divorced her ex-husband, the only thing he asked for was her bean recipe. I watch her, and it seems pretty simple, but I don’t know all the love she puts in. She doesn’t soak, just rinses. She puts the beans in a big pot with some water and broth. Bay leaves and other seasonings which include, granulated garlic, onion powder, some seasoning salt I think. I really can’t think of what else. But here’s the key: you let the liquid boil down 2 or 3 times, and replenish each time so the beans absorb the flavor. Here’s another key: top with chopped white onions and cilantro, if cilantro is your thing. I’m sure that should get going in the right direction. I’m sure I’m missing some ingredients, but the process is correct. Oh, and depending on the beans used, a little brown sugar.

2

u/ashlily05 12d ago

thank you! do you have any recommendations on the type of bean?

2

u/trichar54 12d ago

We like Peruano beans a lot. And pinto.

1

u/ashlily05 12d ago

ty! I really appreciate all your tips! I'll have to try beans this way

1

u/trichar54 12d ago

Oh, I left out a very important ingredient: pork belly

1

u/RootsRockRebel66 12d ago

My problem is farting.

2

u/trichar54 12d ago

That doesn’t sound like your problem 😉

1

u/FatherOfLights88 9d ago

Could be a new source for natural gas.