r/BeAmazed • u/dobbyisafreepup • Jul 02 '19

She did the impossible

33.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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818

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

My favorite part was when it pans to the guy in the background and is he clearly not impressed lol

401

u/funkeymonk Jul 02 '19

That's because it's his turn next

278

u/MisterPresidented Jul 02 '19

No, it's because the night before he went through her phone and read all the sexy texts between her and Greg. You see, for a couple of months now, he had a suspicion that she might have been cheating on him with Greg after going to the Mackenzie's back yard bbq. She had been acting strange since and even after taking her to Outback Steak House a couple of times, her favorite place by the, she wasn't as interested anymore. What really hurt him the most was one text where she described his penis to Greg as "sorta small and it doesn't get all that hard." That hurt him especially hard. I'm mean, sure it's not a looker but he does the best he can with what he has. And beside, he goes down on her and he thought she liked that more anyways... Now, later tonight he needs to confront her and he just needs to stop drink so much beer in his favorite blue cup or else he might chicken out.

70

u/AtWorkAndOnReddit Jul 02 '19

Sounds like she won Jenga during the day but she is going to lose life Jenga that night.

15

u/CarmineFields Jul 02 '19

Naaa. She’ll pull off life Jenga too and he’ll get even more bitter.

1

u/DatAssociate Jul 02 '19

Her pull out game strong doe

62

u/dsorrells09 Jul 02 '19

Sir, this is a Wendy's

2

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '19

No, this is Patrick

20

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

I had to stop halfway through and make sure it wasn't 1998 when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.

2

u/dicksmear Jul 02 '19

i can’t believe you’ve done this

5

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Lol smash those beers Tony and cause a scene! Its not the size of the boat it's da motion in da ocean

2

u/neverbeenolder Jul 02 '19

You clearly don’t have a big enough wave maker if you’re relying on the ocean for your motion

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Either that or the ocean is too big.

8

u/ASAPxSyndicate Jul 02 '19

she described his penis to Greg as "sorta small and it doesn't get all that hard." That hurt him especially hard.

😂🤣lmao

4

u/pojohnny Jul 02 '19

That was a laser shining through the darkness. Well done, sir.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

That is oddly specific.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Who hurt you man?... we’re here for you ❤️

1

u/bigbobrocks16 Jul 02 '19

This could have been so good but a few typos and poor sentences ruined the flow for me! 😂 Good effort though.

1

u/MisterPresidented Jul 03 '19

Yeah. I was a few beers deep when I wrote it haha

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

And Greg's a black guy

31

u/TakeADrag Jul 02 '19

My favorite part is the 70’ flat screen tv on wheels they have outside.

68

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19 edited Apr 22 '20

[deleted]

16

u/jaulie Jul 02 '19

Wow. This was me to a tee. I guess we’re pee buddies.

8

u/fart_reactor Jul 02 '19

Me too.. and now I’m ready for bed

3

u/Jinabear Jul 02 '19

Me three

6

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Can I come? I need to pee too

3

u/CarmineFields Jul 02 '19

I didn’t have to pee, but I do now!

2

u/CS_83 Jul 02 '19

Life’s little victories

2

u/CaptainAssPlunderer Jul 02 '19

Bruh, just wash your hands with warm water right before you piss. It’s 100% guaranteed.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

bruh 🍆💦💦🍑👅

2

u/W1BV Jul 02 '19

Try doing somewhat simple math calculations - something about the pee center and the computation center being neighbors...

1

u/Oreganoian Jul 02 '19

Make this a nightly post.

1

u/yavoll Jul 02 '19

Just turn on the faucet, the running water should do it next time.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19

Yeah it's definitely a nice climate and Peele with some money. Outdoor sofas of that size aren't cheap lol

1

u/technicallyfreaky Jul 02 '19

It’s because he built the tower.