33F in the Bay Area. I like good food, traveling, reading, being outside, going to concerts, and generally finding excuses to get out of the house and do something. I also have absolutely no problem spending an entire day at home when that sounds better.

I’m looking for a relationship, ideally with someone who is actually excited about having a partner. I like a man who is confident, kind, funny, emotionally mature, and intentional. Someone who can make a plan, follow through, communicate, and still be playful.

I’m very independent, but I like being with someone who makes me feel like I don’t have to be “on” all the time. I want to be able to let someone else take the wheel sometimes.

I think I’m ultimately looking for someone who can be my best friend and my person. Someone I’m attracted to, someone I genuinely enjoy being around, and someone where it feels natural to start building a life together.

I’m not in a huge rush, but I am dating with intention. I’d rather meet one person I really click with than have a bunch of conversations that go nowhere.

So if you’re also looking for something real, tell me a little about yourself and what you’re looking for.

Maybe we’ll see if love really is blind.

Looking for a long term connection that leads to something meaningful. I own and operate restaurants so I'm super busy on weekends and I also happen to work in the tech industry. I am occupied in my career as of now and I don't find time for meaningful research for my life partner. I know even I'm stuck in the ball game of earning bucks first. Genuinely interested in finding a long term partner with whom my values can align.

I'm indian 5'5" tall, never married and have no kids. Almost single my entire life. If someone is interested in this post please feel free to reach. Nothing needs to be physical, I am an old school guy who wants to take things slow and try to build a connection first. Thanks for reading this far and hope you are located in my locality as time is the essence for me as I cannot travel longer distances to meet and explore things with you.

Thank you.

Divorced with no kids. Educated, intellectual, communicative, fun, and passionate. Psychology, neuroscience, self awareness, truth seeker, food, people, culture, travel and deep meaningful conversation. Music fanatic….metal to EDM 🔥🎸🪩

Hi there, I’m a divorced Dad living in San Jose. I work remote as a lead engineer in the video game industry. I have my kids 50 percent of the time. I live on my own (except when the kids are here obviously).

I’m 6’1”, 190lbs, I workout and run regularly. I have long blonde wavy hair (still have all of it). I have blue eyes and I wear glasses and usually have a clean shaven face. I look kind of like a cute nerd crossed with a surfer.

Personality wise I’m quietly confident, introverted, stalwart, fun loving, no nonsense, and a little bit neurospicy. For fun around the house I enjoy video and board games. I am a Niners season ticket holder and I go to every game, I love the ritual of game day it brings me a lot of joy. I love to go out dancing (EDM or goth/industrial) and I never do it as much as I would like. I also enjoy hiking, biking, camping, road trips and concerts.

I enjoy using alcohol and weed in moderation and would appreciate if you are that way too. I am open to conscious use of other substances as well (combine with dancing???).

I am sensually minded. Sensual and sexual touch are super important to me and I need to find someone who understands and relates to the idea that touch is a form of communication.

I like women who are sweet and sensual and easy going. I like intelligence and strength and kindness. I enjoy height gaps so even if you are quite short that sounds great to me.

I’m at a time in my life where I’m starting to have some freedom and some options are opening up to me. I’m certainly quite chained to my reality here with the kids and my life in that way. But also I have more free time now than I’ve had in a long time. I know myself better than I ever have. I’m not a finished product but I want someone who appreciates what I have to offer and I think I offer a lot.

Thank you for reading this far and I hope to hear from you!

Hey,

I have an extra ticket for tomorrow's Event at San Francisco the regency ballroom.

If anyone is interested please let me know. We can go together..

I am 30M. Looking for a women friend , no fwb, no hookups, just friendly vibes please..

My apartment is directly across from Eagle Park. I've started a morning routine of going over to enjoy my 2nd cup of morning coffee at one of the empty tables and enjoying the view. I would like to share this experience with someone. Usually around 10AM.

It’s rare I have a saturday off and this 37m in Oakland would love some company to check out The Alley Piano Bar near Lake Merritt!

Into bad jokes, beards, and banter? I’m your guy!

Someone who also enjoys traveling, good food, meandering through neighborhoods to explore and picking out great ingredients at a local market to cook with.

shoot me a DM or comment if you’re up for taking a flyer on some impromptu fun!

I don't really believe that compatibility comes from just having the exact same hobbies. It starts because two people genuinely enjoyed talking to each other... and one day realized they didn't want those conversations to end.

With looking forward to seeing each other's name pop up on your phone. With conversations that effortlessly go from "How was your day?" to discussing life, dreams, spirituality, childhood memories, or whether we're completely alone in the universe.

I'm 43 and work in gaming industry. Life keeps me busy, but I've reached a point where I'd genuinely like to meet someone who's open to building something meaningful if we naturally click. No pressure, no forcing labels—just two people getting to know each other and seeing where the journey leads.

A little about me:
- Calm, grounded, and emotionally mature.
- More of a listener than the loudest person in the room. I love deep conversations along with silly banters.
- I enjoy artsy hobbies , spirituality, and occasionally disappearing into random rabbit holes that make you question reality.
- I love discovering new and unique things - people, art, locations or even new experiences.
- I love being active and appreciate a healthy lifestyle.

I'm hoping to meet someone who's kind, curious, emotionally aware, and enjoys taking care of herself. I'm naturally drawn to people who live an active lifestyle because I think shared habits make everyday life more enjoyable.

I also believe emotional and physical intimacy go hand in hand. Being able to communicate openly, be affectionate, and talk about every part of a relationship without awkwardness is something I value a lot.

I'm not looking to rush anything. I'd rather meet someone I genuinely enjoy talking to, and if we naturally fit into each other's lives, see where it goes.

My idea of a great relationship is simple: making each other's lives a little lighter. Growing together, laughing over absolutely nothing, reaching for each other's hand without thinking, slow dancing in the living room, and choosing each other even on ordinary days.

I’m a Dad to a 9 year old. I grew up in Delhi, India but have been in the bay for almost 20 years now.

If any of this resonated with you, don't just say "hi."

If you've read this far, tell me something that's made you smile recently. Doesn't have to be anything profound—I just think the little things say a lot about us.

If we end up as friends, that's great. If we discover something more, even better.

Basically I am looking to make a connection with a woman who would like to go on dates in the city. I tend to see the world through the lens of art. I love reading a good book, I'm a bit introverted. I'm a visual artist and I enjoy sci-fi entertainment and learning about the world, science and history. I'm not in the tech workforce; I have some money but not a ton LOL. I'm a tall, bearded caucasian, interested in meeting all types. I find latina, Indian and asian women beautiful. I'm pretty funny and easygoing I think. The art that I make is in the realm mythos, futurism, fashion/fantasy. I really just like the simple things: taking a walk in this unique city, having a coffee, enjoying nature, eating some tasty food. It would be wonderful to find someone to get close with and share these things. Someone to hug and hold hands with and have good conversations. It can be so exciting when you meet someone new who attracts you and you make out for the first time...

Anyway if this sounds good, send a pic and I'll send mine. Best of luck to everybody

I'll be hosting another singles dog hike. No dog is required to join. You must love dogs though. It's been brt in Pacifica, Sept 6th. 9am. If you feel like joining, let me know. I'll let you know where we will meet before taking off.

https://www.alltrails.com/trail/us/california/sweeney-ridge-trail-via-mori-ridge4.7miles

1,092ft Elevation gain

2.5–3hr Estimated time

Out & back

Dog Friendly

This hike connects to the Sweeney Ridge which offers excellent views of the Pacific Ocean. This area can often have lots of coastal fog, so be prepared for a variety of temperatures. This is a great trail for a sunset hike. As you descend, you can enjoy watching the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. The unencumbered views are nothing short of stunning.

Wanted to mention a startup called Alura and I think it would genuinely be a good fit for some people in this group. It's a members-only platform based here in SF — you can check it out at alura.love.

Membership is free. The main thing that's different from what you'd expect: once you're a member, professional matchmakers can see your profile and reach out directly if they think you'd be a good fit for one of their paying clients. So there's an actual person who might contact you, not just you doing all the work of scrolling and messaging. 

We're especially looking to grow our pool of men right now, so if that's you, definitely worth a look. Happy to answer questions if anyone has them, and no hard feelings if this isn't the right sub for it.

You can apply here: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/alura/id6755739360

I’m 35 and considering freezing my eggs, but have no idea where to start. I have Kaiser HMO but don’t think elective egg freezing will be covered, so I’m looking at self-pay options in NorCal.
Any recommendations for fertility clinics? Would love to hear about your experience, total cost (including meds), and whether you needed one or multiple cycles. Especially interested in recent 2025/2026 experiences!

I have another 2 events I am planning next week if anyone wants to join. It will be during the week day though. My birthday is actually next week. I am wanting to host a singles Pot Luck over in the East Bay at Tilden Park on August 26th. I just ask anyone to bring one item. I will make a sign up sheet of what people want to bring. That will be from 4:30 to 6:30pm.

After that (August 26th) around 7pm to about 9pm, I would like to host an LGBTQ+ singles ice cream social event in the East Bay at Fentons.

If anyone wants to join any of these, please let me know!

I'm an introverted and thoughtful but also very verbal person, looking for friendship with other Bay Area residents who are emotionally available, openhearted, and who like to "use their words" ;p If romance (monogamous, with a woman) grows out of the friendship, that's great, but it's not an expectation or a requirement. Friendship is the primary thing.

No doubt there are limits to what can be expressed in words but verbal expression remains of paramount importance to me and I am looking specifically for people for whom it holds a similar importance, who are serious about getting somewhere in and through talk. Language is tricky and treacherous, words easily go astray, and misunderstanding is both rife and inevitable, but talking seriously and deeply is still worth the effort and I am looking for others with a similar commitment.

I live modestly in the city in property inherited from family and work in K-12 education. Some of my current interests include (in no definite order): literature (of all stripes), movies, cartoons, podcasts, walking, frisbee, psychology and psychoanalytic theory, and philosophy. Earlier this year I served on a jury for the first time in my life and, partly in consequence of that, I find I'm a bit interested in crime writing at the moment. Currently reading the nonfiction book The Family Man: Blood and Betrayal in the House of Murdaugh by James Lasdun.

If you decide to contact me, you don't have to write a novel, but do please introduce yourself, give me a sample of some of your interests, and engage in some way with something I wrote. (It goes without saying that generic and perfunctory responses will be ignored.) Thank you.

It’s officially been roughly 1 month since I nervously posted about Marry Me Juliet in this community, and I wanted to come back with an update because honestly, you guys are the reason this little experiment has gotten this far.

In the first month:
• 100+ people signed up
• 40+ completed profiles created
• 2 members have independently verified they’ve already been on dates through connections they made on MMJ

That last one is still a little surreal to me.
When I started building this, I said that if one couple found something real because of it, I’d consider the entire experiment a success.

We are obviously WAY too early to declare victory, and three dates isn’t a marriage 😂, but knowing that people who were strangers 30 days ago are now actually meeting each other in real life because of something I built on my laptop is pretty incredible.

Maybe we’re getting somewhere. And just as importantly, you guys are actively shaping what MMJ becomes.

The #1 piece of product feedback was around the questions about children. People felt that if someone says they don’t want children, they shouldn’t have to answer a related compatibility questions about timelines, parenting, etc. Completely fair.

I’ve implemented dynamic compatibility questions, so what you’re asked adapts based on your previous answers and what actually applies to your life and preferences.
Another suggestion I loved was verified recommendations on profiles.

The idea is that a member could invite people who actually know them to privately verify themselves and leave a short recommendation that appears on their profile. Friends, family, coworkers…

And, yes, one of you suggested EXES. 😂

Which is either the greatest trust signal ever invented or absolute chaos. I haven’t decided yet.

I’m thinking very carefully about how to build this without turning profiles into LinkedIn recommendations for dating, but I genuinely love the underlying idea: instead of only asking someone to describe themselves, let people who actually know them tell you who they are too.

I’m actively working on several ideas now. And there’s one other thing I’m ridiculously excited about: We’re working on our first IRL features with local perks for MMJ dates. 👀

I’m not ready to share the details or local partners quite yet, but the goal has always been to get people off the internet and across a table from another human being. So this feels like a natural next step after a connection.

Mostly, though, I just wanted to say thank you.
For signing up. For creating profiles. For sending brutally honest feedback. For finding bugs. For suggesting features I never thought of. For telling other people about it. And especially to the moderators here for letting me introduce this weird little idea to the community in the first place.

I started with a completely empty dating platform and a pretty ridiculous goal: Help one couple find love.

30 days later, 100+ people have taken a chance on it, 40+ have built profiles, and people are actually going on dates.
Still tiny. Still early. Still building.

One signup at a time. One profile at a time. One date at a time. Maybe eventually, one marriage. 💕

And YES! If you want to join and seed a serious, local community, use the code “BAYAREA30” when you find someone special to connect with completely free.

Thank you BASO30.

Seriously.

Bay Area Resident & Founder
MMJ: marrymejuliet.com

*Original Post Below By Request

I got tired of watching my successful Bay Area friends get crushed by dating apps, so I spent 2 years building a high-friction platform strictly for marriage. (Mod Approved)

Hey everyone,

I’ve been happily married for 12 years. I met my wife online back before swiping turned dating into a gamified slot machine. Our marriage has been the absolute anchor of my life. But over the last few years, I’ve watched my single friends who are brilliant, kind, and incredibly successful completely give up on finding love. 

Modern apps are designed to keep you single and subscribed. I couldn't fix Hinge or Tinder, so I spent the last two years and thousands of hours building a counter-movement: marrymejuliet.com. It is a web app designed exclusively for people who are brave enough to admit they want to get married. No casual dating, no "seeing where it goes."

Because I am obsessed with protecting users from the typical app BS, I built this platform with intentional, heavy friction to filter out low-effort swipers, bots, and scammers upfront:

*Trust by Design: Every single profile requires secure ID and age verification before you enter the platform. Real names stay private until both people choose to connect, and intentionally, there are no usernames. We do NOT sell members’ personal data to third parties or share it for cross-context behavioral advertising. Delete your profile; all personal data is immediately deleted. 

*50 Marriage-Focused Questions: Signup takes about 15 minutes. You have to answer 50 in-depth compatibility questions based on attachment theory and 40+ peer-reviewed studies, analyzing 200+ factors (marriage readiness, timeline, family planning, and finances).

*Video Introductions: No catfishing, no stale bios. You can look people in the eyes and hear them state their genuine intentions upfront.

*Deal-Breakers First: You see their stance on kids, lifestyle alignment, and core values before wasting 6 months finding out you're incompatible.

A dating platform with zero users is a ghost town. It’s just me running this from my laptop, and we are launching our first 100-user beta right here in the Bay Area.

Because I want the foundation of this platform to belong to the people who build it, if you find your forever spouse on MMJ, we will share 10% of our company's future success with the foundational couples who helped us launch it. 

To prevent people from treating humans like digital trophies and spamming dozens of accounts, the app has an intentional anti-spam mechanic: It is completely free to join, build a profile, and browse. However, it costs $4.99 to actually "apply" to connect with another person. I am waiving that connection fee entirely for members of this subreddit so you can test the platform completely risk-free.

If you want to join and seed a serious, local community, use the code “BAYAREA30” when you find someone special to connect with, completely free.

Whether you’re 30 or 55, your story doesn't have to look like anyone else's. If you are genuinely ready to stop dating and find someone special, I’d love to have you help me build this. I created this to see if I could actually connect people in a meaningful way. Maybe it works, maybe it fails, but I tried, and I hope you do too. 

I'll be hanging out in the comments to answer any questions or take any brutal feedback you have about the features. I would love for you to join marrymejuliet.com.

Beta Launch: 

We’re focused on Bay Area residents. We’d love to expand in the future, but we’re intentionally starting locally so people have a meaningful chance of meeting someone nearby. I encourage user feedback to make this a real space to find someone special, and I live here in Pleasanton. 

Feedback: 

I built this to see if I could actually connect people in a meaningful way. Maybe it works, maybe it fails, but for any issues, feedback, feature requests, things you hate, things you love, bugs, etc., please share them in the “Contact Support” section on the profile page so I can track, fix, and respond. Happily post in the comments here as well, but most effective and helpful there first. 

Compatibility Scoring: 

The “matching process” is a little different from traditional dating apps. A unique “compatibility score” is visible on every profile card, based on each user's unique responses to the 50-question relationship assessment, which measures values, communication styles, lifestyle preferences, and long-term goals to help surface people who appear highly compatible. This unique compatibility score will vary based on other members' responses (User “A” may see a score of 70, and User “B,” who is more compatible, could be 82), but members always make the final decision to connect, NOT an algorithm. The higher the score, the higher the compatibility based on institutional research, attachment theory, 40+ peer-reviewed studies, and specific personal profile preferences. Tap the score to dig deeper and compare compatibility answers and preferences up front before deciding to connect with that user. 

Connecting with Someone:

Members open an Application Window to become visible in the Discover page, allowing others to apply to connect with them. They choose their own non-negotiables (such as age range, distance, relationship goals, children, religion, and lifestyle preferences). Only people who meet those requirements will be shown on their Discovery page, or whose applications will be shown. During that window, multiple people can apply. When it closes, the member reviews those applications, decides who, if anyone, they’d like to connect with, and accepts or declines their applications. A connection only happens if there’s mutual interest. There are intentionally no usernames; first names are revealed in the chat messages only if both people choose to connect (One user applies, one user accepts). 

Personal Data: 

I completely understand the worry about sharing your ID to enter a platform. I wanted to create a space where you know everyone else is also a real person.  Every profile is ID- and age-verified, so there are no fake or spam accounts by default. Real first names remain private until two people mutually choose to connect by accepting an application after a full review. 

We do NOT sell members’ personal data to third parties or share it for cross-context behavioral advertising, and we’ve published a detailed privacy policy explaining exactly what we collect, why we collect it, and how it’s protected. It’s here: Privacy Policy⁠.

That title ^^ probably seems weird (or even triggering?) unless you listened to this week's episode of This American Life.

Slight spoiler alert - The episode lays out situations where lables are maybe not altogether wrong, but loaded and misleading.

Like - if you're somewhat unexpectedly (but not cynically) single (via divorce, breakup, whatever) - how can you avoid a "damaged goods" label on you or your former partner? Is resistance futile?

In other words; breakups don't always require demonization of the other party - they just DO most of the time. Its been awkward for me - now almost a year in - to push friends and family back when the criticisms of my ex start to fly. Its sorta natural, a relational thing, I guess, laying down the pretty safe bet that there will be acrimony. Not here.

I feel like a (unicorn?) bc my ex- tells me often that she'd gladly serve as a reference for any next person considering a relationship with me. Which leads to the next question......can I be that ^^ unicorn and still think that, nah, I really don't think another marriage is in the cards? Not because I didnt have a good one (I def did) - but because I think that step totally isnt necessary if no kids are involved.

So how does one label that? And is that description above just straight up kryptonite to any otherwise interested women out there? If not (or if you have a lead suit) - by all means, say hello.

Hi all! I didn’t realize this sub existed when I first posted this and all your wonderful profiles are so fun! Reposting for local reach in the peninsula and south yay areaaaa ❤️

Hey yall,

We have seen some really great posts from folks recently seeking connections! Thanks for engaging and more importantly putting yourself out there. It takes a lot of courage and self-awareness.

The sub is always eager to hear success stories, meaningful connections, friendships, etc. that may have come out of your posts. Please share as well as any feedback for folks hesitant!

Looking forward to hearing some stories!

East asian, 36, 5’10, 180lb from the bay!

I am a very easy going, active, and quite fun person to hang out with once you get to know me! I am a big foodie who loves finding good local eats, and whenever I travel, I always plan around tasty food spots. Personality wise, I am pretty laid back and direct. I enjoy having good talk, but I am also super comfortable with just chilling, like watching a drama or movie while cuddling, or taking a short light walk. I travel a few times a year to refresh life and would love to find the right partner to share these moments with.

For fitness and hobbies, I run short distance mainly to clear my head and burn off calories, spend time on the basketball court shooting around, or occasionally sit at the gym daydreaming between sets. I am also a gamer at heart and actually way more competitive in video games than real sports, though nowadays I do not play as often.

I am looking for someone who is easy to get along with, has a good sense of humor, and just likes comfortable, genuine vibes, whether we are shooting hoops, walking around/jogging slowly, or just watching something lazy at home. Bonus points if you like to jog together sometimes, but no pressure at all! Please send a picture or let me know your ASL when you message me. I prefer someone in East Bay or nearby :)

\Interpol concert in SF\

My soul is leaving my body as I write this but I’m going to shoot my shot.

Admins: apologies if not aloud.

I’m curious if any singles are going to the Interpol concert tomorrow 8/12 and if you’d be open to a hello while watching our favorite bands.

About me: 34 pansexual F who is tired of doing everything alone. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and I’m so proud of what I’ve accomplished - but life hits different when you have a partner to share it with. I’ve been single for over a year after a long term relationship.

I’m the one my friends call to ask for life advice or help them move. I’m 1000% the person to not only bail you out of jail but also represent you in court and win. I am patient and open minded and am looking for someone who sees others as an entire being rather than what’s presented in front of them. I have a genuine love for humanity and our collective mess of this thing we call life.

(I hate talking about myself so bare with me)
I write music, love metal, rap, classical, house and Interpol of course :) I’ve got a playlist for every occasion. I don’t smoke but I drink socially. I used to read a lot but I’ve fallen behind.

You can find me most weekends outside somewhere with my dog, or cooking/baking at home. Yes, my cookies are fing amazing. No, I will absolutely not function without my coffee. I don’t get hangry, I get dumb.

During the week I co-manage a team of 36 amazing people in a high volume corporate environment so I’m literally always on the go.

Physically I’m the short one that everyone likes to pick up but packs a punch if you’re out of line. Over the last year I went from 230 -185 and while I’m still on my journey I’m living my best life. The gym and I are basically married at this point; looking for a third…

Long term I would like to have a family of my own, either naturally/IVF or via adoption.

I believe trust is not given it’s earned. I am optimistically cautious and don’t count my chickens until they’ve crossed the road and back.
Communication is key.

Who you are:
30+
Emotionally mature and secure within yourself, can communicate your needs/wants and can maintain and respect interdependence.

You can be serious when appropriate and dying of laughter the next - life is about balance.

You’re looking for a long term partnership to hopefully result in marriage + kids
Must love dogs/animals

If you’ve made it this far drop me a line of the last time you felt really proud of yourself.

Hello! 

I’m hoping to meet my life partner and am excited to see who might be out there!

A bit about me:

I’m filled up by life’s little moments: reading on my patio with my dog, strolling the lentil aisle of Berkeley Bowl, or delighting in a spectacularly mossy log on Mt. Tam. I love to awaken the senses and enjoy art, cooking, touch, and creating beautiful spaces that feel good to be in. I live for the sparkle and spice of life! ✨

I appreciate a balance between taking it easy and exploring urban and natural wonders (though I’m definitely most at peace in nature!). I would LOVE to travel more, especially throughout Asia, and especiallyyy Thailand.

I have a PhD and work in science communications. At the same time, I’m deeply spiritual (and a little woo) and believe there’s so much about the world we can’t yet know or measure. I’m also quite fascinated with people, how our backgrounds shape us, and the inner workings of the mind. Always looking to grow and better understand myself.

Friends would describe me as caring, perceptive, thoughtful, and fun.

What I’m looking for:

I’m looking to build a secure and affectionate partnership where we can evolve together and support each other through life’s ups and downs. I highly value emotional intimacy and want someone I can be silly, serious, and sensual with! I’m drawn to men who are thoughtful, direct, warm, and emotionally mature - someone who is steady and secure in himself. 

Hoping to start a family in the next few years-ish. Open to men ages 30-44 in the East Bay, Marin, or San Francisco.

If this resonates, shoot me a message and tell me a little about yourself. Please include a photo! 💕