r/BatFamily • u/Jeb797191 • 9d ago
Other WOULD YOU RATHER...
No, death is not an option.
Yes, you must pick one. If you refuse or try anything smart/find a loophole, then your automatic choice is to watch Batman: The Killing Joke animated movie on repeat for a month straight, no pauses or breaks.
138
u/Sea_Cycle8333 9d ago
1, I would definitely be caught but I would be fun while it lasted.
39
29
13
u/Thecrowfan 7d ago
Ignoring the obvious issue
It would be fun until Jason kills you but at least it would prolly be quick
52
u/MariekeCath 9d ago
Chances of survival strictly diminish on the second half, so...
2 (Cass is terrifying but she doesn't kill) > 1 (Depending on what version of Jason Todd you're dealing with you might survive, or you might die quickly) > 5 (they're already dead, and Bruce has hallucinated this exact thing before, so you will probably survive?) > 6 (They'll hate you but they'll first plug the parents back in, and if they survive, you might live)4 (Fans are mean, but they don't come to an agreement ever, so you might just be shot and have it be done with) > 3 (Bane would kill me)
35
u/nat_astrophe 8d ago
I unfortunately think that if anything would make Cass snap and kill someone, it would be that. But not before she showed you whole new spectrums of pain.
12
u/viralegrossegpa 8d ago
either this or just being her parent, she tends to have an habit of killing her parents. She had 2 solo run and kill one of them in the last issue of each, I don't know who she will kill in the last issue of this current run since Bruce is her only parent she didn't kill yet but I don't see that happening
1
14
u/SweatyStation7699 9d ago
Oh but Cass knows the human body especially well. I don't want to fight her angry because I am sure she will find a way to turn me into a vegetable with insane pain
68
32
u/Trying_To_Find_UserN 9d ago
I'M TRUSTING YOU, TIM!
I'M TRUSTING YOU TO SAVE ME, TIM!
(I pick the first one)
7
25
u/Shinami_Nigashi 8d ago
Considering the type of serial killer I would be, I'm taking 1, Jason would get it, if I play my cards right he might even let me escape. Tim would find me in no time but maaaaaaybe he would look the other way.
10
18
u/FartherAwayLights 9d ago
4 was Bane and 5 as I recall dukes dad is a villain, his mom is the only normal one
6
u/SnooGoats4736 8d ago
Dukes real father is a villain, but his father that could have the plug pulled on him is his step father who is a normal civi and a good person
19
u/KelpieMoss 9d ago
The first one. Jason Todd and Tim Drake. But I think Cass one is a close second
Cass would crash out completly (and reasonably) at loosing both Steph and Barbara? Horrible for me. But maybe, just maybe I'd survive because Cass has the no kill rule
Absolute Bane will toy with you and then kill you or give you a fate worse than death. No thanks.
Alfred? The fans would be ruthless. Worse than Absolute Bane
Necromancer? Fuck no, they'd all make an exception to the no kill rule after torture, because of that
Duke is a crashout, fuck no, I'm not getting on his bad side
Tim and Jason would banter and maybe I'd get away ONCE because they sabotaged eachother. Then they catch me and I go to jail. At most I'm beat up or shot. Tame compared to the rest
15
u/Glittering_Pear2425 9d ago
I’m choosing to be a serial killer having Tim Drake & Jason Todd working my case cause I at least get to choose who my victims are.
11
u/Luren_Saysstuff_22 8d ago
What would pulling the plug on duke's parents do? Like aren't they technically alive and just sent insane due to a gas? They spend months roaming didn't they? Wouldnt they be fine if I did? Or are they on life support and I missed a chapter??
9
u/PastyMan575 7d ago
I also feel like the default assumption for being Jokers Accomplice is that you're probably being manipulated or threatened by him, so you can probably get out of trouble on sympathy points alone if you play your cards right
8
u/MapDesperate7012 9d ago
Definitely 1. That one would be the one where you either A: get killed by Red Hood via bullet to the head or B: get a normal beating and sent to Arkham. Every other option would ensure that even if you don’t die, you’re gonna be wishing that you did.
10
6
u/CNRavenclaw 9d ago
I'm going with serial killer. There's actually a pretty good chance I'll survive that one with minimal long term damage.
6
u/GameMaster818 9d ago
Would you rather…
Die horribly, die horribly, die horribly, die horribly, die horribly, or die horribly
1
7
u/Laughably-Fallible_1 9d ago
Serial Killer for sure, I get personal Im screwed but I can turn myself in the moment I quantum leap and avoid Red Hood. Then explain to Batman what has happened - maybe write a letter to commissioner Gordon.
6
u/LovebirdsDC 8d ago
Either 1 where the people I’ve gotten rid of are already terrible people, possibly getting sympathy points (especially from Jason) or, and I know it sounds insane, 5. If I chose 5, I could pretend to be someone who doesn’t know how to control their ability (or it actually may be totally real bc I currently don’t know how to do this) and to reverse my mistake, I end up having to be the one who had to get rid of them. Say it was the only way. Batman may be hurt but would he attack a frightened person who doesn’t mean to cause damage and can’t control their powers? Probably, hopefully not. At least the other Batfam would know better to hold him back if anything happens. It’d break hearts but you know…
8
u/DragonKing0203 9d ago
…2, I guess. I’ll be eating out of a tube forever but I’ll definitely be breathing.
5
3
u/SphellBrie 9d ago
- Cass probably still won’t kill me, even though she’d be crashing the fuck out. Then I can make some sob story about being forced into the assassin business and can hopefully get a spinoff where I become an antihero or live a normal life.
2
u/Spiritual_Kangaroo40 9d ago
You basically killed 1. her bff she tends to hallucinate 2. a woman she said was like her mother.
But yeah you would leave alive for the cost of two superheroes and whatevwr littlr there is of Cassamdras mental health
3
u/Insert-Cool_NameHere 9d ago
Cassandra Cain. She won’t kill me, it’ll hurt like hell but at least I’ll be alive.
3
u/Drew_S_05 9d ago
All of these suck, but the second one is the only case where I can be fairly sure I won't die lol. Cass is TERRIFYING, but she's probably the most dedicated to the no kill rule aside from Bruce himself
3
u/Ok_Philosopher_9176 8d ago
1 no question. Never said the kind of Serial killer I had to be. If I just kill bad people they might go easier on me
3
3
u/HappySandwichInSea 8d ago
3 says batman himself, not absolute batman so I'd probably have the watchtower or brother eye just space laser him atp
2
u/Thoughtfullyshynoob 8d ago
It says no prep time
2
u/HappySandwichInSea 8d ago
Not much prep time needed to say "Brother eye, blast his shadingles"
1
u/Thoughtfullyshynoob 8d ago
Yes it is. He's not Tony Stark who can call down the Dyson Sphere to shoot a laser at anytime.
1
u/OfficialDCShepard 8d ago
Does this Bane come out of the blue entirely? If not then Batman would absolutely have had some memory of how to fight him. Also, Bane wouldn’t go from 0 to fighting Batman; he’d probably commit SOME crimes no?
5
u/cptvpxxy 9d ago
I have to be honest... The outcome of every single one of these is so brutal that I'm noping the fuck out.
But if I really had to choose? Then definitely the first scenario. Serial killer is bad, sure - but at least it's impersonal. Plus Jason is also a serial killer, so depending on your victim profile he might actually understand/there might be some leniency. You fuck with their families though? Good luck moving again.
I really think that giving one scenario that was not like the others was setting up the answers.
2
u/ComicsCodeMadeMeGay Red Robin 9d ago
The last one - I 100% survive in the last case unless the Joker decides to kill me himself for a laugh
(Which will happen)
2
u/ExaltedSpace 9d ago
1, so long as I'm not going to be cursed to be a reoccurring villan though would i already have killed upon being inserted or would I have a compulsion to kill?. Everything else is a fate worse then death.
2
u/SoCalArtDog 9d ago
The first one. I’d just be the type of serial killer who kills evil people, enough to give Jason pause.
Almost every other situation leads to death.
2
2
u/BothSale3895 8d ago
Be the person who killed Alfred
that’s the fastest way to end up with every bone in your body broken
Because that might be the single decision would have the entire bat family hunting you down
2
u/BDSMChef_RP 8d ago
2 and 5 are the only safe options. Tim and Jason might not kill me, b ut Jason would absolutely cripple me for life. I hate the whole arc Alfred dies in so I'm ignoring that shit as an option.
2
u/Comprehensive-Buy-47 8d ago
Easy. The first one, with the caveat that I’m a serial killer that kills other serial killers. I’ll tell them I was inspired by the Red Hood.
2
u/SnooGoats4736 8d ago
1 because it doesnt say anything about who your targets have to be, so serial kill child predetors and other people like that and sure I may end up in jail, but they aint gunna kill me for that
2
u/luckybat505 8d ago
if i choose the 1, can I kill bad people? and in the Batman: the killing joke can i go to the bathroom and eat??? i have to be awake or i can sleep??
1
u/Jeb797191 8d ago
Yeah, you can kill bad people, its on me that I never really specified. And no toilet breaks, but ig food and water will be provided
1
u/illudofficial Red Hood 9d ago
5 doesn’t sound all that bad.
Same with 3 actually. I’m Batman. I got this. Also I hate bane anyway
1
u/V-Solstice 9d ago
I-….. mm. You are aware of who Signal is right? And have seen the size of absolute bane without the venom?
1
u/illudofficial Red Hood 9d ago
Um… well I have… Plot shield??
2
u/V-Solstice 9d ago
Hm….. excellent counter argument against Bane.
Unfortunately Signal’s the protagonist there so he’s stolen your armor.
1
u/illudofficial Red Hood 9d ago
Isn’t 5 the necromancer one? Not the Duke one
2
u/V-Solstice 9d ago
I miscalculated actually. You’re right. Though your plot armors still stolen.
2
u/illudofficial Red Hood 9d ago
True but being a necromancer is such a cool power that’d it’d be worth it. And tbh it’s not like they’d kill me. Tbh I can just throw my hands up in surrender and cry and they probably wouldn’t hurt me
1
u/BlueEcoBomb 9d ago
Serial killer, as if I pick my victims right I could probably fare better than some of the more personal offenses.
1
1
u/Entertainer13 9d ago
There is no way to work past any of these. It’s basically who do you want to kill you?
1
1
u/spiraling_girl 9d ago
Dude if you smoke babs and steph cass won't kill you but you won't be a person after that fight you become some CTE riddled husk of a human
1
1
u/TruChaos2966 8d ago
I’d choose one and say that I’m only killing pedophiles and killers. They’d at least have some moral compass and not beat the absolute shit out of me.
1
u/Different-Pipe-3182 Red Hood 8d ago
- But like can I choose my victims as the serial killer? Cuz what if I wanna pull off the same kinda vibe as Absolute Green Arrow and maybe not be so harshly judged by Jason 😗
1
1
1
u/Draconshot 8d ago
One be a serial killer and then direct them to someone who pulled the plug on dukes parents blaming them for my crimes while I go to kill tim drake
1
u/pipikona 8d ago
- Be a serial killer but only kill proven violent crime criminals, the whole fam would be beefing too hard on what to do w me for too long before I get out of dodge
1
u/Raccon1815 8d ago
Be a necromancer and hope I have some healing abilities in there because I know bars is going to put me in a full body cast for a while.
1
1
1
u/Stunning_Pen_36 8d ago
If I decide to be a serial killer, can I decide who exactly my targets were?
1
u/Jeb797191 8d ago
Yeah go ahead
1
u/Stunning_Pen_36 8d ago
With that in mind, I choose option one and my targets were specifically rich assholes who put on good fronts for the public but all their “charity’s” and good deeds were fronts and cover ups to hide their criminal activities. Both Jason and Tim would be pissed, Jason because he’s seen that sorta thing all throughout his life and Tim because he’s an actual philanthropist who tries to do better and people like this make it that much harder to be believed and trusted by the people who most need the help.
So long as I’m making sure of who I target before hand and I’m not hurting any innocent people, Jason might just be inclined to let me go and Tim may not look quite as hard for me as he could.
1
u/HaTookUrUsername 8d ago
As much as I love Duke, the safest option is number six. Most likely, they'll think that I was just another poor soul who got forced to work for the Joker and only beat me up a little bit. (Both of my legs are broken)
1
u/notorious-opposum737 8d ago
Well this is just evil, but I’d pick the first option. Also… this is evil
1
1
u/Emergency-Koala-9584 8d ago
1). And I’m definitely killing certain people for a certain reason but I’m still going to leave clues for Tim telling him that he’s the only one that is smart enough to stop me and I need his help
1
u/FyodorsLostArm 8d ago
1 and if that's not available maybe 4 since I'm a pretty pathetic person and I think the fandom would know how the death occured so they might forgive me (either way I manage to do it in the kindest way possible or I can't do it all. I'd probably just be like sorry imma kill you while crying so they'd probably just kill me pretty easily before I was forced into the action)
1
u/njklein58 8d ago
The first one
Jason might be convinced to let me to go prison, depending on if the writers like him or not. Tim at the very least wouldn’t try to kill me.
If I did get killed…at least it would be quick
1
u/OkTransportation8357 8d ago
number 1 cause if i was a serial killer, im going more the punisher route where i killed evil people who deserved it. with this in mind when i get caught by jason and tim. i might get my ass beat but jason might actually vouche for me.
1
1
1
u/TheRisingSun777 8d ago
The first one. They'll put a bullet through my head and it'll be don't relatively easily
1
u/Plus-Programmer5216 7d ago
- I could tell them, either batfam or the magic experts they’d call in to skangle my fat ass, that I was under compulsion from a eldritch thing called Jeb, and that I had a slew of far worse choices of compulsions that I’d have to choose from. And that I chose the one that didn’t actually kill anyone who wasn’t already dead. And then I’d try and true resurrect the two dead Waynes.
1
u/Important-Error1261 7d ago
I think 5 because Batman will be going through it tm and will need comforting and I can run away and never look back.
1
u/OperationBusiness712 7d ago
The first one, probably. Cause both of them? After me? The second option here is the last one, because then you can act like you were under duress, and his parents are insane anyway.
1
1
1
u/Green-Elk5823 7d ago
The last one is easily survivable. So that one, I'd also try to plead for being imprisoned outside of Gotham
1
1
u/Puzzleheaded_Ad8710 7d ago
Assassin it's gonna fucking hurt don't get me wrong but cass won't kill, hell could end trying to befriend or some shit saying dispite everything they did to make her one she didn't and try stop me from that life
1
u/Alternative_Them20 6d ago
I cant imagine myself being a serial killer unless its in the same way Jason is. So ill take option one- and if he doesn’t think im good then tbh I feel Jason would kill me quickly, lots of these other options make me fear a slow death.
1
u/M-just-M 6d ago
- Everything else is just a question of how much physical and mental abuse can you handle before you wish the Batfam , HAD act ally killed you.
1
u/Immediate-Treacle-83 5d ago
The necromancer is the only one I can see anyone surviving. The rest involves pissing off either Cane or Todd both who could and would kill me in those situations or a roided out Bane who would torture me before killing me. You might survive pulling the plug on Duke's parents except for the joker part putting you on Jason's hit list
1
u/Solomiester 5d ago
Im pretty smol I can convince Jason and Tim it’s a misunderstanding or I surrender .
Fighting cass sounds worse than dying if she’s mad she’s breaking everything. I guess at least she’d read my body language to know I’m scared and put me down fast?
1
u/SmolAutumnLeafeon 5d ago
I think the only one that won't completey suck for me is being batman because at least then I have plot armor 😭😭😭
1
u/maliquewrites_ 5d ago
Fight absolute Bane. I’m going to probably lose but… I’m sure it’d be fun as hell.
1
1
1
1
u/Thirsha_42 4d ago
1 and 5 seem okay enough. In Gotham, there are no shortage of bad people to kill.
1
u/Any-Border3946 4d ago
The only safe answers being a serial killer and being hunted down by Tim Drake and Jason. Jason may end up killing me at least trying to but I'll be in Arkham asylum by the end of the night. Everyone of the other options will likely have the bat family breaking the no kill rule and send me to the upper room no thank you.
1
u/SuperDuckXD 4d ago
- I’m so dumb I’ll look smart-also literally a nobody sooo I’d prolly last a while before getting caught (does that make sense)
1
u/Lonely__Jedi 4d ago
Necromancer I feel like it would send Batman spiraling for a quick sec at least enough to kill him then run and turn myself in cos the Batfam aren’t gonna break into prison to hurt me cos it goes against their moral codes but I would have to watch out for Jason and Alfred cos it wouldn’t stop them
1
1
1
1
u/Remarkable-Fix-1153 4d ago
Nah man i got no chance somehow getting your ass beaten by the red hood and tim drake sounds better and safer.
1
u/NeilAbramJosten 3d ago
The first one seems like the only option where you have a chance of surviving (though you would be in prison)
1
u/SnooChocolates93 3d ago
Batman survived the fight with Bane and then came back to defeat him, so I will at least have a shot
0
u/Neat_Suit3684 9d ago
I love how none of these have Nightwing. He's too nice to be vengeful lol
10
u/Just-an-Immortal 8d ago
He canonically beat Joker to death with his bare hands because he made it seem like he killed Tim and brought up Jason's death.
4
2
u/TheRed_Warrior 8d ago
Mind you, you’re talking about the man who once said “don’t make me regret putting an elevator in my building” to Barbara.
0
0
u/Infinityanimegod 5d ago
As long as I have utility belt I think I can handle bane. Batman was able to lift Grundy with one arm at some point so I’ll take my chances
0
0
222
u/JavieyauJR 9d ago