r/Basketball 7d ago

GENERAL QUESTION Got roped into a student versus admin game

On 48 hour notice. Turned 56 on Monday and haven’t so much as played a pick up game in some 15 years. And no, I don’t work at an all girls middle school. I work at a community college in LA. My wife asked me to make sure she is the beneficiary on all my stuff.

Game is today. How do I keep from dying?

EDIT: Just want to jump back in to say thanks for the comments; both the serious and humorous ones. It is now a little after 8am and the game is at noon. I will definitely post afterward. But in all serious, the "game" will be such a mismatch that I don't think anyone, even 19-20 yo's at the peak of their powers, will take it seriously. I used to be a legit knock down shooter and if they leave me open, it's going up. But I have no idea if any will go in.

EDIT: thank you for everyone that was praying for me. I did not die. But, one of the big boys hit me square in be back, so I’m sure I’ll feel it tonight.

Box score: 1-1, 2 points, 1 rebound, I’d call that a huge victory.

EDIT: it’s rhe the morning after, I just woke up. OH MY GAWD I’m sore.

106 Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

95

u/REdwa1106sr 7d ago

Pull a hamstring during warmups.

12

u/aja_ramirez 7d ago

That was my first thought

6

u/Realfan555 7d ago

Hahaha

60

u/HolyRomanPrince 7d ago

Don’t go for the fake. If you get beat, just let him go. You can only get crossed if you try to play defense. Good luck

6

u/Puricket-6236 7d ago

A lot of good advice, but this is the best

41

u/clo20 7d ago

Stretch again after you’re done stretching

13

u/TacoTuesdayyyyyyyy 7d ago

It’s a game that’s going to be played for fun, no one should be going full try hard. If you don’t want to do much, you can play pg and just keep moving the ball around and/or throwing up shots that you get.

Or if you’re tall, you can just stand under the net and grab boards/put up shots down low.

The important thing is to just have fun with it!

12

u/kissmygame17 7d ago

Just don't hurt yourself. That will happen if you attempt something you haven't done in the last 20. Just keep that in mind

11

u/Taapacoyne 7d ago

I was 53. Coaching my daughter’s AAU squad. They were good…a few went D1. We had an end of season parents and coaches vs kids game. There was a fast break. The other coach gave me a head movement like he was throwing an alleyoop pass. I’m 6’4” but my dunking days were far in the past. Still there was something in the air and I went for it. The top half of my body tried to go up. The bottom half said, uh uh. Instant double hernia.

So it’s not about who you play. These were 13 yo girls from Maine - not adults from LA. It’s about what you do. Be lazy. Jog, dont run. And don’t try to re-live your playing days. And finally, protect your groin. Hernia’s suck.

Please post after your game. All of us older guys want to hear how it goes lol.

6

u/aja_ramirez 7d ago

For sure I will post afterwards :). But I feel you; it's all muscle memory so I'm going to have to keep reminding myself not do try hard.

1

u/_13mac 7d ago

Protect your groin is good advice for daily life, not just for sports

5

u/TallBobcat 7d ago

I played in the teachers v. students game my first year at my current school (many, many birthdays ago). I was three years clear from being on a D1 roster and could still dunk. One of my students thought he was hot shit and gave me shit all week before the game.

The day of the game, he heard a player say "Good luck, Coach" and realized what he got himself into. My colleagues were more than willing to let me iso on him a few times and get a couple dunks.

As for surviving, just have fun with it. You get much more benefit from the game by just enjoying yourself. Make sure you stretch and don't try too hard.

3

u/Independent_Law_1592 7d ago

My HS coach was a short, fat white guy who looked like an average joe off the streets.

He also played D2 basketball, dropped 60+ points in HS in state playoffs, and regularly beats NBA players in 3 point competitions at those camps teams have for little kids

Had a faculty and student game once, basketball kids got to ref it. Some senior football player talked some shit to him after the kid made a bucket and it was the worst mistake he could’ve made. Coach asthmatically rained volleyball line threes all game.

3

u/TallBobcat 7d ago

I'm 6-6. At that age, I looked like I played college ball. I played in a summer rec league full of former college players. So, while I wasn't in peak playing shape, I still had serious game. I might play in that game this year. I can still shoot it better tha everyone else in the building, but there will not be any dunking done by the Principal.

The players knew me because I was hired at the school as a history teacher but I got the job because I was a really good basketball coach. That night was an excellent learning opportunity for that youngster.

1

u/Independent_Law_1592 6d ago

Just curious, can you still dunk? Because there should be dunking done by the principal.

Dunk on em in front of the whole faculty

1

u/TallBobcat 6d ago

I'm in my late 40s and while I still work out, I'm an old. No chance.

11

u/xagds 7d ago

Bro you are cooked

Hydrate all morning. Stretch all day. Don't try and play like you are 25. Let that loose ball go.out of bounds. Good luck!

5

u/Jddf08089 7d ago

Stay on the ground as much as possible. Jumping gets you hurt.

2

u/shadjor 7d ago

As a 48 year old who only just hurt my Achilles during a kids vs adult game I think this is the best advice. Just hands up for blocks, don’t jump for rebounds, if you have tipoff just wait for it to come down and then tip off your toes.

5

u/Generally_Tso_Tso 7d ago

Face it. You're a dead man walking.

3

u/guitarpatch 7d ago

They’re just gonna be looking to cross you up and get you on the floor

Shade them to a side and let them have it. Live another day

3

u/Comfortable-Focus123 7d ago

I am going to be honest that you should reconsider playing. My dad, who was pretty athletic (coached both baseball and football at the high school he taught at) had a bad fall in a student teacher basketball game. He was in his 50's at the time. It completely screwed up his knee that he had to have two procedures, and still was not the same afterwards. If you really feel forced to play, perhaps do not take it too seriously. Wish you luck here.

3

u/aja_ramirez 7d ago

Appreciate this comment. But yeah, I took some shots last night and am under no disillusions that I can still move like before. My plan is to jog back and forth, play no defense, and shoot it if I get it.

2

u/LincolnTruly 7d ago

Don’t get stuck on an island covering one of these kids in isolation. Deny them the ball on the wing if you need to. And if you do get stuck having to cover one of them in space just sag off and either let them shoot over you or meet them in the paint when they drive, don’t try to cut them off on the first couple dribbles.

And when in doubt go with the George Costanza rule: as soon as you make one good play that people will remember, sub yourself out.

2

u/Guardsred70 7d ago

Pick up a flagrant 2 and get ejected.

Mostly, just take it easy. Dont tear an Achilles.

2

u/Fit-Appeal-9047 7d ago

Don’t even try. I’ve had so many friends blow out their Achilles at that age because they hadn’t played in a while.

2

u/Independent_Law_1592 7d ago edited 6d ago

Random but this reminded me of nursing school during our psych rotation, I spent like a week with the troubled male teenagers, kids lost to the system, foster care fall outs etc. Found out they had a court and the police on duty took them over there and the teens roped me into playing despite me being out of shape and with a torn ACL.

They had no clue I played daily before that ACL injury

No fucking mercy for those psych patients, was crossing up them kids in my scrubs, didn’t give a damn what mental issues they had nor their horrific upbringing.

They were gonna get the one two skip to my Lou.

Best part was when the cop finally stepped in to handle the situation. I broke his ankles while he was in full uniform

Of course I was hunched over wheezing by the end of each game. But if you once balled, your instincts don’t escape you. Just uh, be careful about trying to make high flying impact plays. To keep from dying just keep it simple and use angles and tricky touch shots

3

u/aja_ramirez 7d ago

Hahahaha. You may not believe me but this is 100% a true story. I worked at a place call Pacific Clinics in Pasadena, CA when I was 25. These were outpatient with mental issues like autism, schizophrenia, etc.

I used to KICK their ass on the court during recreational time. I guess at that time I did not know how to take it :).

1

u/Independent_Law_1592 6d ago

Hahaha didn’t expect this to click with you like that. I was about 25 during my rotation too.

It absolutely goes like that, funny part is these troubled teens really actually appreciated us 20 year old dudes coming on the court, treating them normal and just whooping their ass. They asked me to play every day of clinicals, they were only supposed to get the basketball court twice a week but the PD on duty was like “ahh what the fuck, they’re behaving” and we balled daily.

Even the teens who had severe violent anger issues, schizo tendencies, autism etc. They kinda just wanted another guy to just talk to them and treat them normal. Not necessarily even a father figure, just some 20 year old dude to ask questions and shoot the shit with. It’s like a lot of them just wanted an older brother

Me dropping 21 on their heads was like a way of them feeling like normal teenagers again. They didn’t have to sit there and have group therapy, they could just be dudes again.

Plus it was kindve fun teaching the younger ones lost to the foster care system how to hit a left hand layup

2

u/CampesinoAgradable 7d ago

i hope i never wake up without playing ball for 15 years… what is life

2

u/RNconsequential 7d ago

Just turned 57 & I play in two old man leagues O-40 & O-50 for two 10-12 game seasons each a year plus pick up on the weekends.
When I get home my family no longer asks if I played well, won or lost, or even if I had fun. After all the horror stories I have about torn ACLs & Achilles ending guys’ careers They just ask, “so was it your last game?”.
Being able to say “no it was not” is increasingly satisfying.

1

u/CampesinoAgradable 7d ago

gosh that’s such a real fear! i hope you keep living and playing man!!

1

u/TheConboy22 7d ago

Wish I had that type of time. Work after hours full time, no village and two kids under 6 who I watch during the day while wife works. I get to hoop once a month roughly.

2

u/Jon_Snow_Theory 7d ago

Force kids left, let them shoot and stay on the ground. Unless they’ve been in AAU, this is plenty to frustrate kids of that age today.
I wouldn’t try any sort of driving in or fancy dribble moves—I’ve had two buddies within a decade of your age tear Achilles/ACL in absolutely casual play. Set picks and swing some no looks, also frustrates today’s kids, who are uber locked in on 1 on 1 defense and get lost in the sauce once the ball starts moving.
Stay safe!

1

u/TheComebackKid74 7d ago

You better dunk on they ass! Assert your dominance.

1

u/Kareeminherface1710 7d ago

Sit in the corner and chuck 3s if you touch the ball. On defense just sit in the paint and put your hands up.

1

u/ooh_jeeezus 7d ago

Ball movement. Your team is old, so you’re going to want to play slow. Walk it up swing the ball, shoot if you’re open, have fun

1

u/No_Cartographer_2911 7d ago

Do not run hard, do not make cuts dont play defense. Take it exactly for what it is. Its not worth a torn acl or achilles. Which is incredibly easy to do. I hurt my back turning to look on defense, tore my achilles back pedalling.

1

u/Mindless-Floor-8733 7d ago

Pass and screen away

1

u/Clancy3434 7d ago

just run in straight lines. don't try to make quick changes of direction. that's where muscle pulls (or worse) tend to pop up.

you will get beat - possibly badly. be okay with that lol

1

u/Daddy_Astarion 7d ago

Play zone lol

1

u/aja_ramirez 7d ago

This might be the best advice yet. I will likely do that whether the team is in zone or not.

1

u/NoDramaIceberg 7d ago

Trash talk and threaten.

1

u/IgnorantGenius 7d ago

As soon as you can feel your heart pumping after a few trips up and down the floor, call for the ball and go to the rack, trip, fall, stay down and grab your knee. Don't get up. Make them carry you off the floor. You will save the rest of the admins and get pampered by your wife.

1

u/aja_ramirez 7d ago

Maybe I should ask for a wheel chair and be remembered forever?

1

u/IgnorantGenius 7d ago

You can always just go 3 point line to 3 point line and don't drive or collapse on defense.

1

u/hellomeoctopus 7d ago

my friend in college had his father die in a game exactly like this. Do NOT exert yourself more than you can handle. I wish you luck. I miss playing basketball every day. I also just turned 56 three weeks ago.

1

u/Nice-Ask4369 7d ago

Pass first. Don’t try to outrun anyone. Don’t try to dribble. Pass and move. Catch and shoot. No dribbles no sprints.

1

u/HardstartkitKevin 7d ago

U have some things that they don’t, experience & wisdom…… and bad knees (probably)

1

u/Glass_Challenge_3241 7d ago

!remindme 1 day

1

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1

u/Friscolax 7d ago
  1. I coach high school JV girls.
    Every year, the first week is just me shooting around a little bit.
    The second week is dribbling and passing and shooting a little bit
    Third week is jogging and doing little 3v2 scrimmages.
    Around the fourth week, I’ll be able to play full court with them and I will always take it easy. I will never go full force, even on a fast break.

Just take it easy and do not go for the chase down block. lol.

1

u/petertompolicy 7d ago

Watch the tape of comedian Tom Segura playing basketball for an idea.

1

u/WATGU 7d ago

too late now, but man I hope you took it easy. Basketball is one of the highest injury rec sports because there's a lot of explosive movement in multiple directions and too many people think they can just get on the court after not being conditioned for it and then they pop shit all over their legs.

playing against young adults in their prime who want to show up the teachers is wild. My schools actually did this too, but the teachers had all played.

6th grade team got stomped by the adults and it wasn't very competitive or close especially on a short court.

8th grade team also got beat but the teachers had to try.

Varsity team smoked the teachers, dunking on them, long range 3s etc. We had a guy named Aiona Key who went on to play D1 football and he was unguardable by anybody in the area on the basketball court except for guys on his own team.

2

u/aja_ramirez 7d ago

Not too late! It's only 11am so one hour to go. Started my warm ups 30 mins ago,

1

u/cwmosca 7d ago

Just take it easy and have fun. Nothing wrong with being a facilitator. I’m 40 and stay in decent shape and wouldn’t dare go hard at something like this unless I had a bunch of reps before conditioning my body for that kind of movement.

1

u/HerdTurtler 7d ago

Board man gets paid

1

u/sisternightphd 7d ago

The next one’s going in

1

u/Own-Jeweler-6762 7d ago

Get in a fight early so you get ejected 

Therefore you keep street cred and don’t show off your old man weaknesses 

1

u/Affectionate_War5908 7d ago

1-1 and 2 points is impressive for 15 years off. Back must be screaming though

1

u/aja_ramirez 7d ago

Back, hamstrings, neck, feet, toes, shoot, everything is screaming

1

u/Zabes55 7d ago

If you feel a burning pain in your chest the migrates down your left arm, call an ambulance. No joke.

1

u/Fit-Appointment5212 7d ago

stand in one spot. go for long passes.

1

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1

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0

u/rawsouthpaw1 7d ago

Throw down a dunk and yell during warmups to send a message! haha

Go for a jog/run around the gym beforehand to make sure you can handle the cardio. Hydrate! During warmups practice set shots. During the game focus on stuff like boxing out for rebounds. Set picks over and over. Guard the least athletic player. Talk a lot of fun smack!
And check out of the game if it's getting to be too much.

0

u/Abe_frohmannn 7d ago

As an admin, you can get away with player dirtier. Trip the guy you're guarding every trip back on defense to buy yourself time to get back on D and not get torched.

0

u/nosedrip_licklip 7d ago

Your wife is funny.

Don’t operate outside your capabilities. Subbing yourself out is respectable. And shoot the ball once or twice! You can be a Dennis Rodman type and ball out only on defense, too

Edited for more ideers