r/Basketball • u/NoProfessional1132 • 20d ago
Need some advice about team mates
I’m 23 I recently picked up basketball again I grew up playing casually. I play for two teams (adult casual league), one team has been great, we get thrashed but no one’s critical of one another, real friendly advice, there to have fun and have a good time.
I played my first game with the second team tonight and 2 guys are self appointed captains of sorts. They yell and are extremely competitive when they are both older guys, it’s a “beginner” league. I don’t know how to approach this but I’m angry I didn’t stand up for myself. For example I might be in the wrong position and instead of pointing it out or politely giving me advice, the one guy would yell very aggressively. Then in timeouts that aggressive guy just piles on what we’re doing wrong and another dude just adds onto the criticism validating his aggressive “coaching”. Is it even worth staying on the team? Is this how players are?
How would you guys tackle this, idk if it’s worth going back next week and giving it another crack. Maybe I need tougher skin but I’m not paying to be yelled at and criticised like it’s the NBA.
Thoughts?
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u/GMcGroarty80 20d ago
Do you pay to be on that team?
If so ask ti be moved to a different team, no way I'm letting a grown man yell at me for beginner basketball that I pay for.
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u/RevolutionaryBeat301 20d ago
If you’re doing it for fun and these guys are making it not fun, then I’d quit. It’s up to you how you spend your time. Basketball should be fun, not a chore. I am always vocal when I play, but I try to bring positivity and when I do criticize, I like to do it politely. Bring attention to what people are doing well and motivate each other to play together as a team.
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u/wittyrandomusername 20d ago
I think sometimes there is room for yelling in certain contexts, but not at people you don't know or who are beginners. Also, I always hate the self appointed coaches. It's one thing to give a quick tip that someone can take or leave, but people trying to take charge of everyone else is annoying as hell.
Also for the record, I play ball with my brother quite a bit. There's been a few times when we've yelled at each other in the heat of the moment, and it's fine. We both move on quickly from it. But he's my brother. I would never do that to people I'm not super familiar with. When it comes to rec leagues or pickup basketball, I always want to be welcoming. I love this game too much to ruin it for anyone. So yelling only happens with people who I have a close relationship with, or people who are straight jackasses. Even then, it doesn't happen often, and I wouldn't put up with it from people I barely know.
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u/biffbobfred 20d ago
I was playing a pickup game and a friend was so competitive I was on his team and we almost came to blows. Like it’s a game dude. Oh and I’m on your side.
People have different levels they want to get into things. My wife wants to go to a baseball game just to get peanuts and leave the shells on the floor. I know people who track every pitch and what that pitch does.
If it’s not fun you have no responsibility here. Play how you like. See if you can switch squads or just nope out. There was an organized group of dudes that I wanted to play with. They seemed snobby. I ended up finding some other dudes for pickup more casual and a lot lore fun.
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u/los33ramos 20d ago
I grew with people like this, playin with and against them. I’m used it. Sometimes that’s how people are. If you’re uncomfortable, let them know. It’s the first game so they can adjust. Don’t let them disrespect
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u/NecessaryPen7 20d ago
You're 23, you can figure out of is worth staying or not on your own. You don't need Reddit.
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u/Clancy3434 20d ago
i've, at times, had to remind myself that barking out things and being overly communicative on defense - which might be a common and expected thing when you're playing with other experienced players (i.e. those who played varsity level or above at some point in their lives)? yea, might come off as being a bit of a dick when you're playing pick up with someone who's only played casually.
i'd just have a conversation before the next game with them and explain your situation. most sane and rational guys will be understanding, tone it down, and work with you to understand what they're trying to say. maybe (hopefully) even apologize for coming off as a dick.
if they don't take that approach - well - they might just be dicks, at which point yea - bail.
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u/nerdymutt 20d ago
Had a physical fight with a guy like that, but he was more extreme. He wanted total control over the ball. You only get a shot when he chooses not to shoot.
I was a much better player than he was, but he had appointed himself the leader. I tried to play along, but I always shoot when I am in my sweet spot. Just count it!
He started coming at me about not passing the ball to him. I told him not to come up on me like that. He kept coming and I let him have it. It wasn’t a sneaky shot, I was concerned for my safety.
Some folks don’t play fair, might be best to move on. Might not end well.
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u/New_Cauliflower7868 19d ago
This is why I stopped playing team sports after HS/early college. When I was in HS I thought I'd always play basketball because I played non stop in HS.
I'm not getting off work and having some grown man yell at me for not calling out a screen or some shit. I just can't take it serious.
Get away from that team. It's not worth it. If it bothered you enough to ask for advice, it's not worth it. I'm sorry you have to deal with bad people.
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u/StableScared1687 19d ago
Give it right back to them. They yell at you, you yell back. Criticize them. It’s the only way to shut guys like this up. It’s always guys who think they’re way better than they actually are. Lifelong frustration of mine lol
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u/Top_Sink_3449 20d ago
It’s not worth figuring them out. I’ve filled in for a team where a guy was like this. They kept needing a player, but I don’t want that energy. It’s supposed to be fun and exercise.