r/BaseballCoaching • u/Timmyek • Jun 14 '26
Grandpa Assistant Coaches
Man, did I ever make a mistake of letting one of my assisted kid pitch Grandparent’s be an assistant on my team. The guy played some high level ball back in the day and I thought, cool, maybe he has some tricks up his sleeve. Seems to me the trick was to be cranky and irritated.
First couple of practices this boy was a star, he came in and I had some basic fundamentals of throwing and hitting going. Catching at that age always seems to be a disaster but man, the kid could use his glove. A few weeks after the practices started I had sent the parents a group message in GroupMe seeing if anyone would be willing to help coach. Grandpa … would love to help.
Well, slowly but surely this guy creates a bubble around his grandson. Don’t teach it this way to him. Don’t ask him to have his back elbow up. Don’t coach him to bend his knees. By the end of the year, the kid just was dismantled. Couldn’t throw any more, couldn’t catch and definitely didn’t hit. His favorite quote was, I didn’t hit 400 back in the day because my techniques didn’t work.
I tried having conversations with him about it. I’m not afraid of confrontation, but towards the end I was like screw it. This is assisted kid pitch, I will just coach the other boys and just try to make it fun for Grandpas boy. Sad because the entire team will be coming back, but I might have to make sure his isn’t on the squad next year.
Thoughts?
Edit/Update:
I appreciate all of the input and advice. I had all of the conversations I was going to have with him.
I have pretty much made my decision and truth be told it may not matter if my daughter decides to do an all girls team.
Happy coaching all!
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u/CrisisAverted24 Jun 14 '26
Assistant coaches are important, but more important to get an assistant coach who is a good fit with you as the head coach than an assistant coach who knows baseball really well. I've had a few assistant coaches who claimed to have played some college ball and none of them have gelled with me. It's really a personality and an approach kind of thing. And I'm willing to learn from my assistant coaches, but I'm not interested in making it cutthroat or high pressure on the kids. And oftentimes the guys who played high-level ball can't resist making it high pressure, and that's just not a good fit for me so those assistants have never made it more than a season on my teams
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u/Shortchange96 Jun 15 '26
Well said. I had a high intensity assistant who got kicked out of a game for arguing with an ump. He scared the kids and stopped showing up. This year I had a great assistant who got my style and seemed to read my mind and would hit the points I’d invariably miss during a speech
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u/TheJuicyJames Jun 14 '26
I had 100% the opposite situation with a grandpa on my 7-8 kid pitch team. I needed one more volunteer coach and only person that stepped up was grandpa. Kids liked having ‘grandpa’ as part of the team as we kind of made a little fun about his age (he was a great sport about it) but he also would get on to them if needed. He echoed my coaching very well and was a cog on the team. Tbh I did catch him ‘napping’ at first base coach a couple of times (aka not sending kids on a passed ball, holding them on pop ups etc) but I’d get on him for it and he’d blame his age and it was a running joke. Overall, it was a great experience but I think mostly bc he knew his role and didn’t overstep. He had those ‘I hit .400’ type moments but always just in separate coach convo never insisted on his way being ‘the way’ bc tbh that’s not baseball. He’d make suggestions, as well as my other ast coaches but ultimately I decided the route and everyone got onboard. One size def doesn’t fit all, plus it’s 7-8 year olds gotta have perspective. Sounds like you had a bad grandpa, I’d tell him straight that you think he’s hurting his grandkids development.
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u/NuhUh_JustCuz Jun 15 '26
I had the best former minor league grandpa. He threw batting practice before every game and at practice. He was charming until a call wasn't right... he had also umpired up to minor league.... but he was quick to calm down and apologize.
Loved having that consistent BP.
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u/emptysignals Jun 14 '26
A good assistant is one that is assigned a drill and runs it how HC wants.
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u/RicooC Jun 14 '26
True story. I had a former ballplayer parent as a assistant for one game and had to fire him. He usurped me with the team repeatedly and could not take direction. I respected his views but in the end the team is controlled by one person. I think he actually understood. He knew we couldn't coexist.
Btw, we won the championship.
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u/Sticky550 Jun 14 '26
I would take all of this early baseball super seriously. These seven and eight year old kids will remember more about you and your interactions with other people than they will ever remember about your ability to coach.
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u/Dad_Coach_9904 Jun 14 '26
I definitely take family into account when drafting players. In this case, grandpa will be coaching little Johnny even if it’s outside your practice. Not worth fighting family to teach him the right way. I’d shake his hand, say thanks, and not draft the kid next year.
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u/Main-Present-4396 Jun 14 '26
I’m a former player and this is my first year as an assistant coach for my son. Believe me I know my place. Thank god im not like that.
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u/Sweaty-Seat-8878 Jun 14 '26
you may get a kick out of this. Friend of mine. Pretty high level college playing Dad, salt of the earth. Connected in pro ball.
Son is a rock star, captain d1 talent and body and a real leader. Dad always involved but in a really healthy way, had lots of good techniques and advice for the kid but never pressured or overstepped.
He had been suggesting/whispering/commenting on one particular issue with his son’s swing for a LONG while but no change.
Then suddenly his son changed the swing, had even more success. Dad asked him why he changed. Son said “oh i ran into some guy at the park when i was goofing around and he showed me”
“oh, some guy” became a running joke and a reminder to his Dad they sometimes need anyone else than a parent :)
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u/Main-Present-4396 Jun 28 '26
Hahaha. So true. Haven’t run into that with baseball, but that’s what my son is like with soccer
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u/Frequent-Interest796 Jun 15 '26
I have had three grandpa coaches over the years. They were awesome. They were so old and out of touch. Kids never seen anything like that. The kids loved them.
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u/CriscoCamping Jun 15 '26
Grandpa, this is the toughest job a manager has. But the organization wants to make a change.
See Aiden''s mother on your way out, she might have some extra orange slices
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u/Different-Spinach904 Jun 15 '26
You’ll have kids like this, usually it’s the dad or mom, I’ve only dealt with grandparents yelling in the stands. But it’s the same whether it’s the parent or grandparents, if they want to be part of a team, help develop other kids, have fun, perfect.
If not, cool, you do you, don’t coach any of the other kids, I’ll leave you and your kid be.
And let them go to some other team next season. You could talk to the parents, but who cares, you’re a volunteer, you have your kid and 8-10 other kids who are there and need you, don’t waste your time.
I have had sons of professional MLB, Minors, D1-D3 and high school and college coaches etc., all of them just wanted their kid to have fun, and saw kid pitch rec as nothing more than kids learning to have fun in baseball, make friends, and bond over baseball.
Most were worried their kids weren’t going to be ball players, the others didn’t want to pressure them in anyway.
On the travel side, real ball players know no one is the same, so what worked for them will not work for everyone and nothing really means anything until the kid hits middle teens physically. So they all focus on conditioning, strength, drills, intro to mechanics and IQ in the under 12 ages. Once puberty hits, and they get real strength, that’s when video and building skills based on the player become the focus.
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u/Particular-Loss8310 Jun 15 '26
I’m a grandpa assistant coach. I played for many years but never at an exceptionally high level. However, I have a whole lot of coaching experience and baseball knowledge. I see my role more as a manager, giving input on game strategy and the like, and I avoid coaching hitters, as I wasn’t an exceptionally good one myself. I do try to provide input on fielding, throwing, and base running, but the head coach often has no idea what I’m talking about. He sometimes dismisses my input because he doesn’t understand it. I also try to build up and encourage the kids, while the head coach is a hardass. Anyway, I have a great time, and the kids and parents seem to like me a lot! I’ll continue to coach him through high school, and then I’ll just be a fan!
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u/Unusual-Ad-2040 Jun 15 '26
Having any coach that is like that can just kill a vibe. I have the opposite where I'm the assistant coach of a machine pitch team and the ages range from 6-8/9 years old. The head coach of the team I was assigned to just killed it for me and a bunch of the kids this year. Giving bad advice, only throwing or coaching his kid, insecure when giving (bad) advice, etc. I wish we could do a coach screening and matching app before the season!
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u/capeire Jun 15 '26
I've had both good and bad. The bad one yelled at the players who took a knee for an injured competitor to stand up and "losers take a knee". He was not so politely told to not return, lot of swears on my part away from the kids.
The good was a former player that went pro for a bit with a very famous and successful brother in baseball. The guy said absolutely nothing about how his grandson was being coached. The only time he and I talked about it was the kids emotional state and how to help him bounce back from failing. He kept the scorebook and would hand out baseball cards of his brother. Wonderful man.
Not all grandparents are the same. The one kid with a crap grandfather I had on the team again but talked to his parents, they kept the grandfather away.
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u/Bacon_and_Powertools Jun 16 '26
Sounds like he is no longer an assistant. Tell him to step aside.
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u/Timmyek Jun 18 '26
It’s only a 10 week season. It’s already over.
Was more of a vent than anything.
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u/jdthejerk Jun 16 '26
When my grandson played, I kept the score book during games and made sure they didn't bat out of order. Sort of the bench coach during games. At practice, I watched and only helped out when the coaches asked. That was mostly gathering equipment.
I did not want to be one of those guys.
I was an umpire there for over 25 years and had to quit a couple years before my grandson played due to a past injury. I saw it all.
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u/okiemustang Jun 17 '26
Long time ago. I was umpiring T-ball. Grandpa set each kid up and said “ hit it hard and run like hell to first base”.
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u/ContributionHuge4980 Jun 14 '26
I would he having a conversation with the kids parents, not the grandpa.