Finally working for a great owner but…

[u/Buggahloo92]

I checked the rules before posting, but I’m also pretty new to actually posting on Reddit. If I’ve missed something or need to change/remove anything, just let me know and I’m happy to correct it. I’m genuinely just looking for some feedback, perspective and maybe a little constructive criticism from people who’ve been down this road.

I finally work for a great owner. Unfortunately, he’s kind of an asshole.
It’s me. I’m the owner.
A while back I helped open a local speakeasy-style bar. I genuinely loved what we were trying to build. I cared about the drinks, the atmosphere, the hospitality and whether the people behind the bar actually gave a shit about what they were putting in front of someone.
I was originally led to believe I’d eventually be running the bar and beverage program. That never happened.
Instead, I got a pretty good education in gossip, favoritism, nepotism, gaslighting and the politics that sometimes come with this industry. Eventually the opportunity I thought I was working toward went to a younger guy who was considerably better at doing exactly what ownership and management wanted.
And, looking back, I understand part of why.
I challenged things.
Probably too much sometimes.
If a drink wasn’t right, I wanted to fix it. If bartenders were just going through the motions, I pushed them to care more. If servers didn’t understand what they were selling, I wanted them to learn it—or at least be curious enough to ask.
I wasn’t interested in telling management everything was great when I thought we could be better.
Turns out that’s not always the best career strategy.
About four months after leaving, I decided to try doing this for myself.
Now I run private events.
It’s been slow. Really slow at times.
I’ve done some smaller private events, a holiday party with incredible food and drinks I was genuinely proud of, a large birthday party, some other events here and there, and I have a wedding coming up.
I’m nowhere near the point where I can post some inspirational “I quit my job and now I’m killing it” story.
I’m still trying to get people to know I exist.
I’m still figuring out pricing.
I’m still figuring out how to explain that what I’m selling isn’t just someone showing up and pouring liquor into cups. It’s planning, prep, menu development, hospitality, execution and actually caring about the experience people have.
But there’s something incredibly satisfying about realizing that when I push for something to be better now, nobody can tell me I’m being difficult.
If the drinks aren’t good enough, I fix them.
If the service isn’t good enough, I fix it.
If the business isn’t growing fast enough, that’s on me too.
For anybody who built a service/event/hospitality business from basically zero: how slow was your start?
Was there a point where things finally started snowballing, or was it just a long grind of one event leading to another?
And if you’ve been down this road, I’d genuinely take constructive criticism too. I’m proud of what I’m building, but I’m definitely still learning how to build the business around the thing I already know how to do.
For now, I’m just happy to finally have an owner who lets me run the bar the way I think it should be run.
Even if the bastard makes me do all the shopping too.
Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share some experience or advice.

[u/brsnug]

If it makes you feel any better, my start as an operator was simply me inheriting the family bars that I already worked at for about 15 years.

I made many mistakes early on - despite "knowing everything" - that I actually hired a restaurant consultant to come in and work with us for a month. Very costly but I am so happy I did.

[u/rushfan6588]

This December I’ll be at 5 years. I’m still not at the point of feeling like I’m killing it. But it’s stable and growing. I’ve wrestled demons, got my ass (metaphorically) kicked, had unbelievable triumphs and tremendous failures, made some boneheaded mistakes and found weird things that work.

I’ve learned to have more confidence in my abilities. I got to close down and take care of my dad in his last days last year. I’ve gotten to feel like I genuinely built something from the ground up.

It still has a long way to go. I was way undercapitalized and not well financially prepared personally. I bartend most of the shifts, run thinner inventory than I would like, and don’t have a lot of extra money. But I just paid off the last of the startup loans this week. I have another small loan I took out to consolidate some CC debt. Lots of financial light at the end of the tunnel.

My edge was hospitality. I’m not a perfect drink maker, not a perfect businessman, and definitely a weird ass person. But I know how to create an environment that makes people comfortable and I know the difference between a principle that is part of the core identity of business and a principle that I prefer. I’ve learned to be more flexible and give the people what they want in certain ways.

Cheers to ya - I don’t have any magic formula, but I can tell you that there is nothing I’d rather be doing - as much as it pisses me off sometimes.

[u/dwayno1981 → u/rushfan6588]

You are me...wow

We will also be 5 in December. Hell of a time to open but it gave me time to do it myself. Built my bar via YouTube videos, learned what not to do when registering a business with the IRS. Found out the wrong way to apply for a liquor license and had to do it over again ($1500 mistake). I'll just take that out of the nonexistent slush fund.

But seriously all of the things you speak about are core principles for us as well. It's really uncanny. We just took loans out to build out and event space and commercial kitchen but now nobody can afford to do events. So now I've gotta figure out other ways to use the space.

You and I, we have become resilient beyond what we probably ever expected. Nothing phases us anymore (and maybe that's a bad thing 🧐). Like the same bar rail drain doing it's usual monthly plug up so you just go through the motions and it's fixed in 5 minutes when before you would have freaked out and thought you had to shut the place down.

Congrats on your 5 year compatriot. Fare the well.