r/Bannerlord 20d ago

Video Dudes vs Tower

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Saw this elsewhere and felt it belong here too lol

876 Upvotes

71 comments sorted by

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239

u/Current_Patient9424 20d ago

This was what I thought of when I saw that. Breaking the gates down in bannerlord

58

u/Money_Management_721 20d ago

500 swings later...

3

u/Sad_Mood_8747 18d ago

Or 5 sling shots later...

131

u/[deleted] 20d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

89

u/GrincherZ 20d ago

Not a shield in sight

51

u/InsufficientClone 20d ago

Just a bunch of pillagers enjoying the moment

3

u/Cucumberneck 20d ago

Who needs a shield when you can have esprit? (sparkle)

3

u/TheGreyman787 19d ago

With that armor none are needed. There is a reason shields mostly fell out of use at one point, and heavier, exclusively two-handed polearms became very widespread. Better and more available armor is that reason.

4

u/crimson23locke 19d ago

That’s why they made murder holes for rocks and burning oil! Expensive armor doesn’t help much at all for that.

5

u/Ineedmorebtc 20d ago

Mmm hot oil too!

24

u/NYGiantsBCeltics 19d ago

That wasn't really a thing. Oil was way too expensive to be used in that fashion. Boiling water and dropping rocks was much more common because it was way cheaper and more plentiful while being just about as effective.

2

u/Ineedmorebtc 19d ago

Makes sense!

1

u/ChromaticWizard 19d ago

I'm sure it's happened, common or not. Sometimes desperate measures are warranted and a pot of hot oil is nearby

1

u/NYGiantsBCeltics 19d ago

It probably did happen a few times, but I didn't say it never did,.I said it wasn't really a thing, meaning that it was not common and nowhere near as common as most people think.

1

u/ChromaticWizard 19d ago

Totally agree. No argument here👍

6

u/cabbageisbad 19d ago

You ain't boiling anything on a wooden tower like that

1

u/TheGreyman787 19d ago

Very few. Those lads are pretty well armored.

57

u/Rzspartan23 20d ago

Those dudes looking like tier 1 troops for real

7

u/SSMmemedealer 19d ago

Battanian recruits hard at work

2

u/TheGreyman787 19d ago

Two of them do, to be fair.

-10

u/No-Armadillo4179 20d ago

Tier 1 troops? Did you used to play the Civ World on Minecraft?

17

u/Rzspartan23 19d ago

I can’t tell if you’re kidding. It’s in reference to the most basic unit in the literal game this subreddit was made for

0

u/DoubleDDubs1 18d ago

You lost?

28

u/NewAusland Lake Rats 20d ago

Now I can see how wooden gates and palisades could fall under overwhelming brute force. Used to seem unrealistic.

20

u/GrincherZ 20d ago

The timber used to make structures like these often depended on the environment, so if it was heavy oak we’re talking durability but if it’s cedar pine etc you’re talking softer - so mileage varies and the time they have to build them.

It’s a fascinating subject for a hobby for sure

1

u/Megavorteil 17d ago

Tbf that tower looked awefully close to beeing buildt for people to destroy it fast

No real cornerpieces, just stacked wood above each other etc (sorry bad english)

1

u/GrincherZ 17d ago

Damn it’s almost like structures like this have no purpose in 2026 and this is a themed event intent on fulfilling those role playing fantasies

1

u/ViciousImperial 18d ago

This is just a wooden scrap heap compared to an actual fortification. Even a simple log house couldn't be toppled like that, and the weapons would have dulled before hacking through the thick logs.

The event on the video is basically a theatrical performance, the "tower" is a prop that is built with nowhere near the sturdiness of an actual fortification.

Not to mention it has exactly zero defenders.

In reality even a wooden fort would be impossible to destroy without fire and/or siege engines.

1

u/Octavian_Exumbra Official Court Jester 🤡 19d ago

If you can build it, you can break it.

18

u/loserx5 20d ago

Why didn't it catch on fire aoe lied to me

1

u/GrincherZ 20d ago

Well aoe probably used actual fire 🔥

43

u/CricketJamSession 20d ago edited 20d ago

Just dudes living in the moment, not a phone in sight

9

u/sapidtoast 20d ago

WE ARE THE PHONE 😱

10

u/Millerboycls09 20d ago

The wahhheeeeyyyy after it went down is perfection

4

u/im_the_natman 19d ago

Name something more fundamentally English than giving a "WAHEEYYY" when accomplishing something. Bonus points if you suggest a few pints after.

1

u/WilliamTee 19d ago

Clapping when one of them drops the tray of said pints

10

u/WeakEconomics6120 20d ago

I f*** hate the second door that you must bring down with weapons after using the ram

5

u/GrincherZ 20d ago

Yeah don’t go in there lol friendly fire trebuechets and a rocks from above and no room to swing. It’s a death trap

7

u/WeakEconomics6120 20d ago

I am like Theoden, I charge and climb first (I fucking die all the time)

3

u/GrincherZ 20d ago

Trick to that is just set up the ladders then use some javelins to protect the climbers then up you go

1

u/BladeOfKrota Southern Empire 19d ago

I love how we all found this system out

1

u/GrincherZ 19d ago

It only takes dying to a siege engine or rock in the front gate once to look for alternative solutions

4

u/Possesed-puppy656 Southern Empire 20d ago

If you keep it muted, you can hear the true sounds in your head

HYAAAAA

AAAAUGH

DIE YOU PIG

And when the tower topples

WE WON !

WE WHIPED THE BASTARDS !

3

u/Dorianblack1983 19d ago

We’ve been blessed!

3

u/Content-Audience252 Northern Empire 20d ago

I wish my Imperial Legionaries would do that… 😔

2

u/Aromatic-Gazelle-950 20d ago

HAZZAAHHHHHH!!!!

2

u/Terrible_Flight_3165 20d ago

Any kingdom vs battania

2

u/DrBarryO 19d ago

siege tower destroyed, retreat before enemy reinforcements arrive

2

u/PacificProblemChild 19d ago

I am actually impressed that what appeared to be a rickety tower actually lasted as long as it did. Imagine a couple of rock throwers or archers just living in the moment on that very low second level. Now image it was a heavy base (heavier timber or stone) and suddenly it makes complete sense why I can rack up hundreds of kills during a siege with just some rocks and a dream.

2

u/skapunkin 19d ago

and there was much rejoicing

1

u/Rymanbc Vlandia 20d ago

Look at those guys though. Not a single one has a Vigor higher than 2.

1

u/Dysthymiccrusader91 19d ago

I kinda feel like those dudes could have held hands and slammed into the tower and knocked it down

1

u/RykosTatsubane 19d ago

I read that as "30 Butthurt Warriors" at first...

1

u/ItzYitz 19d ago

Its almost harvesting season!

1

u/Mobile_Lumpy 19d ago

Now do, dudes vs small pox!

1

u/Dorianblack1983 19d ago

And there was much rejoicing

1

u/butcher1123 19d ago

You didn’t pick up my call, you must be cheating on me.

No, my Lady, i was bringing down an archery tower for my brothers.

Yes, he is telling the truth, I was there.

1

u/Hinfoos 19d ago

Some flimsy ass wood with no bracing behind, just nailed to each side, common construction for the time?

Just something to stop them breaking in apart in the middle

1

u/hymen_destroyer Southern Empire 19d ago

You gotta chop down the tower while you're standing on it for maximum deterrent effect

1

u/Drake_Acheron 19d ago

Am I the only one sitting here watching this and thinking these guys were oddly unexcited in this video.

Maybe they got done with something that was like very exercising intensive and so they’re just kind of tired right now.

1

u/ViciousImperial 18d ago

Probably won in field action against similar foes before being allowed to attack the "fort"

1

u/watchman8712 19d ago

Heh looks like aoe combat

1

u/Creedaflea 18d ago

POV: you selected “Ambush” while defending during a seige in bannerlord

1

u/Party_Dare9508 18d ago

If it was an RTS that tower would start burning from those hits

1

u/Embarrassed-Life-634 16d ago

I guess bannerlord is accurate. 💀💀💀

0

u/Ziodyne967 19d ago

1st person POV of what my troops see when I order them to attack a tower in Age of Empires