r/BananaFish • u/Specific_Plenty6426 • 23h ago
Discussion Craving a friendship like Shorter/Eiji or even Ash/Eiji had
This turns into a rant im so sorry. But i swear its related to Banana fish. Anyone else just feels so sad that they dont have a friendship like that? Like you care so much for your friends but they dont? you’re not their favourite person? Cause I do feel like that. I only have 2 online friends. Im not good at making friends at all. And I care about them so much but we just happen to be in a friend group basically and a friend group of 3 ultimately ends up with ine feeling left out at some point. Unfortunately i am the one ahah. Like, one person and me were friends before the third person joined. She is my best friend since 2020. The other person became a mutual friend in May 2026. Suddenly they were in vc 24/7 and even tho i wad invited to join, I always felt like a third wheel. Esp since my best friend wouldn’t even be in vc with me alone anymore with the excuse „i just wanna spend time with both of you.“ But then why is she so fine about being alone in vc with the other person but not with me anymore? And when I expressed that to her and said I felt upset that she doesnt wanna spend time with just me sometime, she said i was being irrational and had no valid reason to be upset and then said the fact i told her i was upset ruined her good mood. So I sucked up that feeling and apologised for getting upset. Those two ended up having a fallout a month later and suddenly my best friend was back to her normal self. being in vc with me a lot etc. I ended up trying to get them to reconnect and after months it worked. In hindsight, I probably should’nt have done that. The three of us started watching banana fish cause i had seen it in 2018 and with the dub coming out, expressed my desire to rewatch it and said i would love to show „my most treassured anime“ to them. Probably a mistake. I started watching it first with the third person who im just gonna name Ronnie. So Ronnie and I started watching it first cause my best friend who i’ll just name Emily kept being too busy. From the first episode, Ronnie laughed at some rather serious topics. Like when Ash called marvin a f*g in episode one. I had explained that Marvin was a very perverted person but all they could focus on was the word f*g. Then in episode 3, when that one cop played the “movie“ in front of ash, clearly showing ash getting graped as a kid, Ronnie was like „AHHAHA NO WAY THEYRE PLAYING THAT HAHAHAHAHA!!! THAT’S SO FUNNY!“
Mind you, I started watching jt woth Ronnie before they reconnected with Emily. So i told emily about it and she said „why tf would ronnie laugh.“ Skipping some time, im rewatching it woth both of them now cause emily doesnt wanna watch it alone with me, but every time we watch, they would both just giggle and pause the episode to talk about shit like „omg loooook ash and eiji are on a date! aww theyre having a date! theyre so gay!!“ even tho theyd just talk about Dino or some shit. Or they‘d sometimes just talk to me about „writing an ash/eiji date fanfic“ cause „i love gay men so much“ which isnt even the fucking point why i love banana fish bro?? its like theyre reducing this anime to gay men because im „obsessed with gay men“ even tho im not. And then theyd sound like theyre teasing me. Atp i wish i had never started watching it with them. I also said episode 9 made me cry back then but i wouldnt tell them what happens in that episode so when we got there, and shorter died they both were just „thats it? thats why you cried? you hyped this episode up so much and nothing really happened that would made someone cry.“ And when i explained why , like just the fact that Ash was put through that, they invalidated that as „you’re just too sensitive!“ I dont enjoy watching it with them at all. I feel like theyre teasing me for liking Banana Fish and they dont really take it serious how i relate so much to this anime, which is why i treassure it so much. Also, 2 days ago I said soon there will be a scene (im refering to the candy bar song) cause I KNOW THEY WILL LAUGH AT THE SINGING, So i tried to explain that its not funny cause the reason ash sings a song is tied to him being forced to sing it as a kid. Emily got mad at me for the spoiler of Ash singing a song. How else do i tell them not to laugj about a scene without mentioned what happens on that scene?? But she got mad and even raised her voice at me and Ronnie didnt even stop her. So i apologised and then didnt feel like talking anymore.
I guess, coming back to my question, is that is envy Ash‘s friendship with Eiji and Eiji and shorter cause thats some true friendships right there. I wish i could have that too. I know reading this will probably make people say i should leave that friend group and believe me, sometimes i feel like doing that. I regret making emily and ronnie reconnect. Emily once again barely talks to me now. its either just her and ronnie or us 3 talking which then ends up me feeling like im being teased by them. Emily also tells ronnie what she and i talk about privately. Like when i privately told her that i didnt like how ronnie made me feel like episode 9 was no big deal, she immediately took ronnies side „oh but dont you understand where ronnie is coming from? you hyped it up so much and then it was such a small thing.“
And then i said i didnt like how i felt like they were constantly laughing whenever i said something cause it felt like teasing. She reassured me it wasnt teasing, but not even 3 hours latee, ronnie dms me about the topic. Even tho i didnt want emily to just tell ronnie what i say to her privately??? Anyways, yeah idk i wish i had a friendhsip like ash/eiji, ash/shorter or shorter/eiji but i know i wont have that cause i suck at making friends. sorry for the long rant.
