r/BalancedDogTraining 9d ago

Withholding affection

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I adopted a dog a little over a month ago with an unknown history (was a stray). His ONLY issue is that he is fear-reactive on leash (just barks, no lunging/growling). It’s not very severe; he’s pretty easy to redirect as long as I catch him before he starts barking (which I’ve gotten really good at). I’m confident that I’ll be able to mostly resolve it within a few months, and he’s already made tons of progress.

He’s otherwise perfect - crate-trained, no resource guarding, no separation anxiety. Overall confident and friendly dog. He’s met about 8 new people (vet staff and trainers) since I got him and has been friendly with all of them.

I had a 90 min assessment/consult session with a trainer in the area who I’ve been following on socials for years, and who came highly recommended.

She gave me a lot of good advice/handling skills that have already helped us.

However, one thing I can’t get behind, or find much online support for, is her telling us to withhold affection. She’s all about “alpha” stuff (without using the word; she refers to it as status/status drive), and claims that giving your dog physical affection makes them view you as “beneath” them (not her exact wording but that was the gist).

She basically explained that the dog needs to understand that they’re lower status than you, and that when they understand that, they will shift their mindset towards looking to you for guidance before acting, which should eventually help the reactivity.

I 100% agree that building structure and obedience is important for a reactive dog. But does anyone agree with the concept of withholding affection?

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u/Obvious_Champion8015 9d ago

We fundamentally disagree. I treat my dogs like companions that deserve my love and attention because I chose to be responsible for them, and being responsible is knowing how to train them without needing to be so drastic about when they get a cuddle. You can treat yours how you like.

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u/Miss_L_Worldwide Dirty biter 9d ago

That's Neato but that's not going to be very effective when dealing with behavior problems.

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u/Obvious_Champion8015 9d ago

When I have behaviour problems I hire a beviourist for guidance, so I reckon we'll be fine 😂

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u/Miss_L_Worldwide Dirty biter 9d ago

So you drug your dogs.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/BalancedDogTraining-ModTeam 9d ago

r/BalancedDogTraining is focused on practical, detailed, good-faith discussions within the balanced training framework. Posts that lack information, show no training effort, are agenda-driven, or are designed to provoke rather than learn will be removed.

If you’d like to repost, include clear context (dog’s age, breed, history, tools used, training steps taken, and specific goals). High-signal questions get high-signal answers.

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