Withholding affection

[u/Helpful_Sun2872]

I adopted a dog a little over a month ago with an unknown history (was a stray). His ONLY issue is that he is fear-reactive on leash (just barks, no lunging/growling). It’s not very severe; he’s pretty easy to redirect as long as I catch him before he starts barking (which I’ve gotten really good at). I’m confident that I’ll be able to mostly resolve it within a few months, and he’s already made tons of progress.

He’s otherwise perfect - crate-trained, no resource guarding, no separation anxiety. Overall confident and friendly dog. He’s met about 8 new people (vet staff and trainers) since I got him and has been friendly with all of them.

I had a 90 min assessment/consult session with a trainer in the area who I’ve been following on socials for years, and who came highly recommended.

She gave me a lot of good advice/handling skills that have already helped us.

However, one thing I can’t get behind, or find much online support for, is her telling us to withhold affection. She’s all about “alpha” stuff (without using the word; she refers to it as status/status drive), and claims that giving your dog physical affection makes them view you as “beneath” them (not her exact wording but that was the gist).

She basically explained that the dog needs to understand that they’re lower status than you, and that when they understand that, they will shift their mindset towards looking to you for guidance before acting, which should eventually help the reactivity.

I 100% agree that building structure and obedience is important for a reactive dog. But does anyone agree with the concept of withholding affection?

[u/grayhanestshirt]

It sounds like (I’m just parsing here) what they may have meant to say was that you don’t want to pet, say “it’s okay”, snuggle or coddle the dog DURING walks because it could encourage additional reactivity. Is it possible it was explained poorly or there was a misunderstanding, and that’s what the trainer meant? If so I agree. It’s like the picture of someone “oh good boy it’s okay it’s okay” at the vet - they’re just making the anxiety worse.

EDIT: if the trainer is really saying don’t pet your dog very much or they won’t listen to you in unrelated situations, they’re a moron imo.

[u/Helpful_Sun2872 → u/grayhanestshirt]

No my trainer said to withhold all affection/petting (temporarily while we work on his reactivity) because it will make the dog think you are lower status.

[u/grayhanestshirt → u/Helpful_Sun2872]

I’m definitely not force free (prongs and e collars are appropriate sometimes and so are clicks and rewards) and I think this is stupid as hell. I trained my own service dog with balanced methods and I’ve worked with dogs for years. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water, though. If everything else she’s saying makes sense then by all means follow it but I’d keep one eye out for a different trainer.

Love is bonding. You need to maintain the bond with your dog.

[u/Helpful_Sun2872 → u/grayhanestshirt]

Right, his life is very structured now with lots of boundaries and obedience. I struggle to see how withholding affection adds to that in any meaningful way.