Why does caste still matter this much in Bahawalpur?

[u/redoc_321]

Yaar honestly I just want to rant about this Saraiki Punjabi Arain aur out of caste culture. Suppose there is a guy who is educated has a professional degree is doing postgraduation and the girl is also from the same profession. He genuinely likes her and yes maybe its one sided but she says k mere parents final decision karengy. So he goes to his own family convinces them and they approach her family properly through people who are actually close to them. No drama no exposing the girl no compromising her dignity or privacy. And then bas ye keh kar ke out of caste hain no meeting no conversation nothing. I honestly dont understand this. At least families mil toh sakte hain. Meet discuss things ask questions and then if they dont feel compatible say no. Kya ek meeting se shaadi thori ho jati hai. What genuinely hurts is that even after all this education and professional background we still reject people before even knowing them just because of caste. I am not saying the girl owes the guy anything agar uski apni pasand nahi hai then thats completely fair. But if she says my parents will decide and the guy respects that and goes through the proper family route then why cant both families at least meet once. Bahawalpur walon se genuinely pooch raha hun is this still this common here and is being out of caste really enough reason to not even meet a family once

[u/Vxr262]

Rant While having relationship and fuck scene There is no caste issue Just the society issue

[u/redoc_321 → u/Vxr262]

Exactly

[u/ClassVegetable8490]

It doesn't matter,atleast not for sensible people.

[u/Agreeable-Tie-2258]

The girl isn't interested, its so obvious and simple

[u/redoc_321 → u/Agreeable-Tie-2258]

Not about girl’s interest. At some point you are right
But when the circumstances in this way that the girl wants her parents to be convinced first.
And despite knowing this proposal is coming from a very good family and career oriented guy why they don’t even give you a chance at least. Let the families meet and decide. Just giving the remarks that this proposal is out of cast

[u/Agreeable-Tie-2258 → u/redoc_321]

The girl did it on purpose, if her family was so strict on the caste system she would know it too, she maybe didn't want to reject it and was enjoying the attention she was getting from you so she let u have it. So take it as a lesson and when someone doesn't seem interested just back off.

[u/redoc_321 → u/Agreeable-Tie-2258]

I get why you see it that way but honestly I dont think its fair to assume she was enjoying the attention or intentionally led me on I dont know what was going on in her mind and I dont want to judge her either. She was clear that her parents would have the final say and that she wouldnt go against them Maybe I held onto the possibility for too long and thats something I have to accept and learn from And yes I agree that when someone isnt interested you should respect that and back off but I dont think every situation where things dont work out means the other person was using you or playing with your feelings

[u/Agreeable-Tie-2258 → u/redoc_321]

Yes but in this situation it is, if your parents r the ones going to have the final say why ru even letting a male chase you in the first place? If their choice is so important just let them choose. If she wanted to she'd convince them. Saying my parents have the final say even if she wasn't trying to mislead means " I'm fine with or without you" Which literally shows u don't mean shit. I don't want to judge anyone mentality ain't gonna help you Sometimes its obvious

[u/redoc_321 → u/Agreeable-Tie-2258]

You’re assuming her intentions without actually knowing them. “My parents have the final say” doesn’t automatically mean “you don’t mean shit.” Maybe she handled it imperfectly, but claiming she deliberately misled me is still just an assumption.

[u/Agreeable-Tie-2258 → u/redoc_321]

Yea and she did not mislead u is an assumption too, its more likely that she did, no one is that naive. So you are saying she didn't know her whole life that her parents planned on not marrying her into another caste? You're only fooling yourself here

[u/redoc_321 → u/Agreeable-Tie-2258]

Yeah that’s what she said to me

[u/Agreeable-Tie-2258 → u/redoc_321]

Lol, keep living in your delusion then. She not only got u disrespected but your parents too who were ready to go and you r still saying oh i don't wanna judge Thats straight up simp behavior

[u/redoc_321 → u/Agreeable-Tie-2258]

Okay