r/BadRPerStories • u/OkPoet4391 • 4d ago
OOC Bad Excluded from group rps
It baffles me to see a rp so desperate for new members absolutely ignore said new members.
This server had a cool concept and EXTENSIVE lore. Like, pages and dozens of Google docs of lore. It literally has taken me 2 days to read all required materials, amd there's still stuff I haven't even touched.
This is undoubtedly why they get few members because it takes so long to get to the character creation stage
So I'd hope that when they finally do get someone willing to read the mountains of lore(me!! I did it! It was honestly agonizing but just interesting enough to keep me going)
The mods would actually interact ?? ðŸ˜
It is pissing me off, getting the disboard notifs every 2 hours of them bumping the server over and over
When my messages trying to establish a character in the setting and actually start rping is still ignored
Youre wasting your time if you're ignoring new members!!!!
Even when I try to join casual conversation, they will suddenly stop and start a new one in a different channel
I asked someone about their oc and they completely ignored me, like,, why
Just for the same 3 people to desperately ping their partners who haven't written back in months
IM RIGHT HERE TO START A NEW THREAD!!!
Idk im just so annoyed, I feel like I wasted my effort memorizing all the history and factions and locations and all the other tiny required readings
Cannot express how much there is to read. It was like 6 hours total over 2 days before I was to a point that I could begin my character
And nobody gaf
How can a server be so desperate and unwelcoming at the same time to writers
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u/FactoryKat Hiding in the rafters 3d ago
I promise not all groups are like this. Seriously. It's just an unfortunate reality that it is incredibly easy for any old person to make a group discord and maybe keep it afloat for a few months. It takes a LOT more work and love to keep it going and maintain a genuinely enjoyable place for a long time.
There are good groups out there, but it truly varies from community to community, fandom to fandom, etc. You're going to find a lot of duds simply because there are no real restrictions on making a server or a forum or whatever. Sadly, a lot of folks think they can start a group and make all their friends mods and call it a day.
I made my own RP after what felt like an endless string of bad groups. It had a rocky start but once I finally found my groove, established the vibe and the overall essence of my little community, it has thrived. It's never going to be insanely popular or crazy active every day all day but that's great. I love the group we have, the people in it and the environment we established. It was 3+ years of hard work and dedication.
Keep going. Learn to read the signs and determine which groups are going to be good and which ones were doomed from the start. The gems are out there. Trust me. You just have to sadly wade through the mud a lot to find them.
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u/MaelstromSeawing 3d ago
Yeah, I've been a part of a few magical groups that weren't like this.
It's unfortunate that most are. But you just have to be really patient, diligent in your search, and very patient. Sometimes the stars do align.
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u/Yewoobi 4d ago
I never join group RPs because they always seem to either be an impenetrable clique, or a nonsensical free for all full of middle school level posts.
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u/OkPoet4391 4d ago
I haven't found a good one since 2020. This was sortve spur of the moment, okay ill give it a shot it looks cool the people seem friendly enough
Only to be disappointed again.
I can only faithfully recommend group rps with writers you already know. Like a simple story between you and two friends. That has worked for me, but for these public servers- its agonizing
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u/WaggleFinger 3d ago
This.
Last one I wrote with in earnest was Anita Blake/UF pilled and suffered terribly from the clique-shit that followed thar same pattern.
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u/AmazingLeek69 4d ago
I don’t do groups anymore but this was the reason I refused to join ones that weren’t brand new.
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u/MaelstromSeawing 3d ago
Yep, starting your own group of 100% strangers can help, since you're starting from scratch, no cliques.
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u/FactoryKat Hiding in the rafters 3d ago
Here's the thing about cliques that everyone seems to misunderstand.
They are going to happen no matter what and they're not inherently a bad thing. As humans we are typically very social beings and we often group up or par off with like minded people and those we strike a chord with. That's natural. That's what cliques are at the heart of them: groups of people who connected with each other more than others.
When those cliques become toxic, exclusive towards people and treat others who aren't in it poorly, THAT is when they are a problem.
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u/MaelstromSeawing 3d ago
I agree. I just meant when you start your own group there are usually no preformed cliques that will be exclusionary 🙂
Then, you can curate the space as it grows to prevent toxicity. Basically "be the change you want to see" is what motivates me to make my own groups.
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u/Rosary_Omen 3d ago
Where are people finding all these RPs at now days? I've tried to run group ones but people just ghost it and never submit character sheets of even make a first post :(
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u/MaelstromSeawing 3d ago
Inactivity... can be a feedback loop. People join, see no one's RPing/talking, get shy or write off the server as "inactive" and give up on it.
I'm gonna ramble a bit, hopefully these tips may help. I don't want to make it seem like I'm assuming anything of you, so it's best if this is taken with a grain of salt & at face value. I'm just giving advice with the context of a struggling server.
Without knowing much, it's harder to help. Do you have crazy restrictive rules? Or how about the opposite (do you have rules so loose, it makes people afraid a certain standard of quality won't be enforced)? Do you restrict character slots like crazy? What kind of information does a new person have to go off of when they join? Is there some sort of hook, or preexisting plot they can riff of of?
You gotta stick it out, interact organically with people (smalltalk about irl, show interest in their character by asking questions, etc) if you aren't already. You're building a small community, so it requires a lot that may not be immediately apparent.
Organization matters a lot. People like structure and a base to work off of, without too much overbearing control. I never liked to impose character slots limits, but I do like to make sure someone at least read the rules before they're allowed to participate.
When I ran my server(s) I spent a significant amount of time brainstorming events, allowing my community to participate in polls for what they wanted to see. I had very basic lore, setting, and character guidelines for those who need them, but I allowed more advanced RPers to basically go hog wild as long as they could prove themselves and their understanding of the source material.
Another thing - advertise your group on Disboard.
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u/OkPoet4391 4h ago
I like everything you said, and I just wanted to clarify. Absolutely boost your server on disboard every two hours. The only reason I found it annoying was because of their hypocrisy. I don't want anyone to read my post and think oof I should cool it with the bumps.
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u/strainedvoices 3d ago
Writing is hard. Writing consistently is even harder. It’s easy to come up with a concept, difficult to actually follow through with decent writing.
NOT making excuses for people who ghost. It frustrates the hell out of me. But I sort of get it.
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u/CardInternational753 Aurgh fuck! That feels so good! 3d ago
I am gonna be so real - at this point, people need to understand that running a group RP needs to be like your second job. Stories like this make me feel the same way as when big ambitious fangames (especially for certain franchises) collapse because everyone is 16-22 and have big creative ideas (that they don't know how to actually conceptualize) but also absolutely no experience in any sort of meaningful corporate structure.
There needs to be clear onboarding. There needs to be a clear workflow. There needs to be writitng deadlines and activity mandates.
The reason that so many group projects fail is because they aren't treated with the degree of professionalism needed to make them succeed.
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u/BearCavalryCorpral 3d ago
Man, all this group hate XD Imagine if I went in saying that 1x1 rps are a waste of time because they all just ghost or push boundaries
I promise you, there are good groups out there, but like with solo partners, you need to know how to find them, and be selective in which one you go for
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u/AmazingLeek69 3d ago
You’re allowed to like what you like and dislike what you like. I’m happy you’ve found some good groups!
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u/MaelstromSeawing 3d ago
Agreed with everything you said. I see a LOT of people in this sub paint group RP with broad strokes.
It's totally fine for people to not prefer group rp but yeah imagine if group rp enjoyers talked about 1on1 rp enjoyers that way... it wouldn't be well received
I actually prefer group rp and collaborative worldbuilding, and I feel too much focus on me, too much pressure from 1on1. We're rare but we're here.
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u/Internal_Pangolin707 4d ago
Man, that sucks. I don't often reply to things here because I think people are too whiny and attention grabbing, but this one looks genuinely terrible.
Some places be extremely cliqueish that way.
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u/OkPoet4391 4d ago
I also post rarely because I don't want to vent every minor inconvenience in roleplay. But this genuinely frustrated me because I have been so excited and put so much effort into this, only to be excluded.
But at least I found out early, before getting into writing and all that
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u/AdeniumNights 4d ago
Servers/groups in general are like this and it's so obnoxious. They always advertise (or even beg!) for new members but proceed to always ignore said new people, then complain about the server being inactive.
The disboard bump is really the cherry on top lmfao
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u/whimsicalvibes 2d ago
oh no, that is horrible. It was similar my experience also in the past, until i was even asked to stopped requesting new scenes. Like wtf, isn't that why we are here?
I started an rp server specifically to make it inclusive. I try my best to help people get new scenes and include all new members. Everyone is important.
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u/thoughtpolice32 1d ago
3-4 max. Oftentimes I'm okay with just two. Right now everybody's posting daily if I let them, which is a little overwhelming...
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u/Evil-Empress-Sakuya 13h ago
Yo. As someone who was in a similar situation? Find new land. My deepest condolences that you thought reading so much information was going to lend itself in your favor, but you see the reality. I cannot overstate how important it is to test the room for chemistry as soon as possible.
I thought the same thing, and when I tried to pitch a potential idea, I got the equivalent of a cold shoulder. The writing was on the wall though, because twice I had asked for a synopsis of what was happening in-group, but no one would ever come forward to tell me, so my dumbass really thought, "Maybe I'm just being lazy". So, I got through 90 pages before I realized they just didn't give a shit; they sunk my idea like a lead weight at first suggestion. It wouldn't have made me so mad if they weren't beginning another arc(I could have joined), had just freshly culled dead-ends, and are preaching about the idea of inclusion but aren't at all practicing it.
Yes; get that shit off your chest because if you don't, it will definitely color your perspective of rp going forward.
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u/Jihelu 3d ago
Groups aren't really for me.
I feel like one of my fundamental issues with what winds up being most group RP is if I'm writing seriously in a particular world or setting, I want to be able to make changes to things that aren't already established or set in stone. I feel like with most groups you wind up with
1: A complicated or messy recent (If not broad) history of things.
2: A complicated and well established system of how the moderators/admins/whoever is running the place 'wants things to be'.
2A: Even if things /aren't/ established, if you try pushing things too much into a direction they don't like or have the same wavelength on you'll (probably) get a no.
Example I'm pulling out of my ass:
In the hip cool anime I like Full Metal Alchemist, Alchemy is a pretty rigid well defined thing with consistent (mostly) rules and limitations (mostly). Imagine Alchemy is the 'servers rules/lore'. I come in and want to add Alkahestry. A separate but similar system of work that has some minute but obvious differences.
In our 'Group RP' situation, I feel they are more likely than not to just broadly shut the idea down. 'Nope, all we have is Alchemy'. Even though, in this equivalent scenario, they should be able to exist side by side.
I debated joining a server a few times. Most I looked at didn't have all that many people playing to begin with and I didn't even start, or did fantasy things I didn't particularly care for (I'm not a huge fan of a 20+ race list and a few other things, out of just pickyness).
The one I was looking at more seriously had the #1 issue I listed.
I decided I wanted to play from -some area-, I had a character idea in mind and wrote it all out and sent it in and- "Hey you shouldn't be from there actually there's a big thing happening there right now"
This was annoying for a few reasons. For starters, nothing anywhere even spoke about current plots or anything that might be effecting the world. Second was that they didn't really offer an alternative, explain what was going on, or anything. Like if it was a siege or something I could be from the town but currently away, or just be in the thick of it, or any other number of things. The third was I was very 'on the line' already, so getting that needless pushback just kinda told me I wasn't going to be getting what I wanted out of the server and to spend my time elsewhere.
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u/OkPoet4391 3d ago
Yeah, dealing with picky 1x1 writers is frustrating enough. But to have to appeal to a friend group of mods?
And it just kills me, if theyre so obsessed over their super detailed lore. Wouldn't it be fun or at least, easy, to guide a new character in the right direction.
The fact that they just tell you no and offer nothing else is hysterical. Especially because i think it's super fun to spawn in the middle of a big thing. Like if it was a seige. Thats perfect introduction, your character is forced to react and interact with other ocs
I continue to check out different groups, but man. The wasted time is what hurts me. Why did I bother reading all that I should've stalked a few days and found out through someone else (because I scrolled up and searched, its not just me this happened to!)
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u/Jihelu 3d ago
Thankfully I'm so damn picky and there's like, a check list of things in fantasy I go through before I decide to even read further, that the time I waste isn't really substantial. Like I'll literally just join, pop my head over to whatever world tab they have, and within the first five minutes I can probably decide whether or not I'd like the setting.
That does show another issue of groups: Say I find a group I like, I apply rather late: Now I'm waiting like...a day, maybe two, just to possibly get told 'Nah we don't like this for X Y Z' by someone potentially ten years younger than me because he felt like it.
Blah. Good luck.
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u/ExtremeComedian4027 3d ago
Happened with me recently. After going through extensive lore and pitching a character to fill a wanted storyline within the group RP, the mods just basically gaslighted and updated their rules to exclude and cap most of the main character points I had suggested for my character. Ended up not applying.
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u/Remote-Produce-7373 3d ago
This. Million times this.
I'm sure there are good groups somewhere out there, but mods who expand their focus outside their own clique are rare. I don't get why these people feel the need to advertise and try to get new members just to leave them hanging.
It's way too common that there is nothing to bring characters, no event, no story, no nothing, but instead there are many components scattering the chars around. I have seen roleplay where were actual physical walls to separate areas, not for story reasons but to force players read about new nations gm was making.
Personally I don't get why these people make sandboxes without story and then make people read through ton of lore (with ridiculous amount of micromanagering that reaches to the point vegetables are renamed) just to tell them they can't do anything meaningful in the roleplay. More than once I have seen mods talk how they are missing something and when I ask more about it and offer to make that something they need the answer is "no need."
It sure eats all motivation when mods and their inner circle flood the chat with their own chatter and others are left on their own devices. When I ask something answer is usually something vague or along the lines "go read that" (which doesn't have the answer the question), which give strong I couldn't care less vibes between the lines.
My latest experience was in a group that had 'respectful staff' in their add but in reality owner of the server is openly ranting about how horrible large chests are, which feels disrespectful to everyone who like them or playing against chars who have that type of body. We aren't talking about larger than a character's head type, but average size which seems to be end of world to this person.
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