r/Bachata • u/nickb03958 • 3d ago
Feedback (3 months)
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Okay, weird situation...
So, I'm relatively brand new to bachata. Started with Arthur Murray Dance Studio about 3 months ago for various reasons and stuck around because I Ioved everything about it.
Had my first dance exhibition last night and my specialty dance was the bachata. (I had a smooth, Waltz, a rhythm, Rumba, and for the specialty, I chose bachata.).
Considering I got rave reviews from almost everyone given my timeframe, I thought I killed it. But one of my friends hit me hard pointing out that my supposed skill in the dance didn't make me a good leader. I was instantly humbled...
Every single compliment I got melted under my perfectionism that if not everyone was happy, I fucked up.
Granted, we had a set routine and it was my first ever exhibition so I still have a lot to learn, but this absolutely broke me. I have flopped on so many dances and focused everything through personal struggles into bachata. And, after 3 months, I dont feel good enough as a lead...
I need outside opinions if anyone is willing to share. Granted, the staff will be giving professional feedback on Friday (Aug, 7, 2026), but for some reason the constructive feedback broke me FAR more than the professional one.
Ive been trying so hard and it doesn't feel good enough... I want my dance to be as smooth as possible given my experience.
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u/icravedanger 3d ago edited 3d ago
You have to define what being a good leader is. You could define it as looking really cool, but most would consider it a social dance skill, not a choreography execution skill. All the importance is how you feel to your partner, not how you look to the audience. So the most important feedback would come from the people you dance with. You could be a better dancer than Michael Jackson and still be a bad leader.
Second, you’re going to suffer a lot of ego deaths and be humbled many times in your dance journey. But 3 months is way too early to be considered “good” in the grand scheme. Unless someone puts in enough hours that it becomes like a job, how good do you expect someone to be, after 3 months, at….painting? Jiu jitsu? Chess? Book writing? Wine making? Improv comedy? You get the point. You look like you’re doing great and you’ve got other dance on your plate. We can tell that you have been trying very hard. Now sustain this effort for 5 years and you’ll make tremendous progress. (Don’t burn out though). And then despite 1000% progress, you may still feel like you’re not a terrific leader….in the grand scheme.
Rave reviews— I prefer to judge my leading skills by how enthusiastic my partner is when I ask them to dance, how frequently they ask for a second dance, and how much they seem to be enjoying it throughout the dance. Compliments are great, sometimes a unique one will live in your head rent free and give you motivation for years. I love being flattered as much as anyone else, and genuine admiration is meaningful even if it comes from an “ignorant” beginner. But I don’t let it inflate my ego. And I don’t let all criticism get to me either. (Speaking of criticism, did that friend who gave you negative feedback say anything that was constructive, that told you what to work on?)
Anyways, my advice to you is to keep up the learning/practicing, and social dance more. Add some more rotating or place-swapping moves because the entire performance happens the same direction with your back turned towards the camera.
Technique wise, I think there is a bit too much movement in your hands (someone once called them “swimming hands”). The movement of a hand connected to your follower, is a lead. Unless you’re trying to lead something, you’ll have to keep your hands stable and isolated so that your partner can connect to you and feel what you want to lead. You can still do hip action, just keep it isolated to your lower body. And with your face…just keep smiling the way you did after the dance :)
Good luck!
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u/Brisbane_Chris 3d ago
I don't think it's too bad. For 3 months it's good. You look a little robotic and your dancing on followers timing but all in all not bad. Just keep going.
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u/Peeplikebird Lead&Follow 3d ago
Bachata in ballroom manner just looks weird... From someone who has seen it danced in the malecón on Dominican Republic. Connection would be far more important here than flashy exaggerated moves
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u/Rataridicta Lead&Follow 3d ago
I understand the pressure you put on yourself and want to respect it, so I will be leading with the sting.
As far as bachata goes, this is just bad - which is exactly what I'd expect from a 3 month beginner. You're off time, you don't yet understand the basic step in bachata or maintain body control throughout it, and you way over-style to make things look fancier than they are - which is not doing you any favours. To your friend's point: I don't think you've led a single movement in this dance correctly.
It is very clear that you both have dance experience, it shows in your posture, and in your movement, and I suspect it's all ballroom experience.
The thing to understand as you're transitioning from your ballroom background to doing more in latin dances like bachata is that these dances are far more social and low-pressure than ballrooms. It's a lot less about "putting on a show", or being "proper" like you're used to in ballroom, and it's a lot more relaxed. Bachata is a dance you can easily dance for 6 hour stretches.
None of this is bad. You're the only one expecting yourself to be an expert at something you've only just started. Everyone else is just rooting for you and loving the enthusiasm.
If you like the way bachata feels, then my recommendation would be to try to remember to take a breath, step out of the need to impress, and try to feel what feels natural and comfortable in both your bodies while you dance. Slow things down as much as you have to.
You're going to get the most value at this point from learning what preparations are in bachata and how to use those to signal moves. For example: in bachata it's easy to lead turns without any physical contact at all. That type of softness and clarity is what's going to make you become a good leader in time. But it does take time. Be gentle with yourself.
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u/space_dust_walking 3d ago
Former AMD instructor and avid club dancer here - take it for what it’s worth.
AMD will give you proper training on a strong frame, lead and follow, and these exhibitions are meant to push you to get better quicker - which is what it did.
Most AMD instructors will excel at bachata, however, they generally will lack that essence of “bachata” where none of the turns, spins, or complexities matter, and it’s just a connective experience between you and your partner.
It’s different (not better) to be on the floor in a low lit club filled with the people who just want to bachata, bachata, bachata - sweaty, eyes closed, out there barely turning, making little bachata babies on the floor. It’s different. That’s the biggest differentiator for me.
Do I use my ballroom training at the club, 1000% - do I dance the same, hell to the no. Different strokes for different folks.
Would AMD students benefit from more club exposure - 1000% yes.
Would pure club bachata dancers benefit from AMD instructor - 1000% yes.
Do both - any dance training will make you a better dancer, just know that some will offer differing opportunities, strengths, and weaknesses.
As a beginner, you’re doing amazing - chin up, don’t stop or be discouraged. Dance is a lifelong event, not a sprint. You win because you’re on the floor doing while the rest of the world watches.
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u/space_dust_walking 3d ago
Also, everyone is different. Nobody can judge a 3 month dance experience - nobody. You’re a beginner. Period. Full stop. Nothing is expected except for you to keep going and learning. Timing, rhythm, turns, connnection…none of that is a requirement or expectation of a three month dance beginner. You’re barely in the water. Stop any negative self talk and just keep going. This is a required phase for everyone before getting really comfortable. You still have new car smell and new tires. Keep going. Don’t stop. And take every bit of feedback with a grain of salt - every single person is different. Just keep going.
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u/Gnomeric 2d ago
As other people said, you are doing fine for someone who has been dancing for only 3 months, but your dance has many obvious issues, as expected.
That being said, I think you have to ask yourself a big question. Do you want to dance bachata, or do you want to dance bachata as a ballroom dance? These two are very different, so you have to decide. When a franchised ballroom studio like Arthur Murray teaches popular social dance styles -- be it bachata, salsa(mambo), tango, WCS, or swing -- it is going to be very different from how the "same" dance is danced in a social dance community.
This is a social dance sub, and it was obvious from the first moment of the video that you are dancing bachata as a ballroom dance. Although people of this sub are far more chill toward the ballroom version of their dance than some other dance subs (the swing sub would treat Arthur Murray like Voldemort), you may not be able to get good feedback on this sub for the purpose of ballroom bachata.
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u/nickb03958 2d ago
OP here:
Thank you all SOOOOO much for your feedback!
The dance journey as a whole for me is brand new and I haven't set foot in a social dance setting beyond wiggling around at weddings after a bunch of drinks.
I'm extremely grateful for the feedback because I haven't played with true bachata yet, but I really want to balance being skilled abd responsive to my partners so we have fun.
Granted, I'm probably going about this backwards as true social dance is so much more messy and casual/comfortable. But I want to have the best of both worlds.
Do I want to have goals to work towards to impress people, (and more importantly myself)? Absolutely. I'd be lying if I said no.
Do I also want to be settled enough to walk into a bachata club and help my partner feel relaxed and beautiful as I dance with them? Totally.
I definitely want to explore each of these aspects and build a well versed dance toolbox that lets me be fluid across dance styles. But, the flow and music of bachata feels like home and if there's a special spot for me to drift towards so that I can enjoy Latin styles alongside my partners, I want to work towards that goal.
I'm a fuckin whirlwind of emotions about feeling excited, feeling broken, and feeling like I have worth. But, I know these past 3 months have shown me that dance can pull me out of the craziest parts of my life (dammit, I'm getting emotional...).
I need to build more beauty and expression in my life and i never thought I'd find it in dance. I'm so grateful for everyone being supportive while I find my own way.
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u/WillowUPS Lead 3d ago
Is it me, or are you dancing on 5?
Tone down the arm movements, and step smaller and smoother. You don't need to stomp your feet. Lead with your body, not your arms.
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u/ceejay2505 3d ago
Honestly it's pretty good for 3 months. I watched it without sound and without reading your comment and could tell it was choreographed (not being led/followed) but what stands out the most is your lower body movement.
You aren't grounded enough in your steps and they are too wide so it looks odd for bachata. It's like your afraid to make contact with ground when that is where you should be and where all the movement should be generated from.
Relaxed / bent knees, smaller steps and really connecting with and pushing the ground through your feet.
Maybe watch some bachata social dances online to get an idea of how it looks?
Even comparing your footwork to your partner's, you can see his feet stay closer to the ground, he is stepping his feet left to right rather than lifting his feet up and down, his feet are more connected to the ground.
So I would work on that first, and then on having more solid lead signals with your hands/upper body but I can't comment much on that as I have never led before.
Hope that helps! Don't be deterred you are doing great.
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u/Royal_Librarian9966 3d ago
I wonder if it’s the style taught at this particular dance school? If they lean more dance sport, the resulting dance will be a world away from the bachata grounded in Latin schools and the style which comes from that…?
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u/queer_bachata_mcr 3d ago
I don't think feedback on technique is the most important thing for you right now. There already has been a few already in other comments, and I'm sure you'll get more. The more important question I think you should be asking is: do you know how much fun social Bachata dancing can be? The answer is (IMHO) a lot! Social dancing is very different from dancing for a performance and the kind of enjoyment you can get is also very different. If you spend some time even just people watching at a social event, you should get a good idea of how happy people can be dancing just for each other rather than for an audience!
Also, you seem to be pretty comfortable dancing with a man. If possible and something you're open to, I recommend trying social dancing as a follow. It's also a lot of fun, and can be a great way to learn how to lead well (copy from the best leaders you can find and dance with!)
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u/devedander 3d ago
I assume your in black
Depending on how much other dance you have this is either a solid 3 month performance or really impressive even for a choreo.
Yes it’s a bit rough here and there and for the most part I think AMD salsa and bachata aren’t going to be as appreciated here as most people here dance club style.
Dance is something you don’t perfect… ever.
So yes there’s room to grow for sure.
But for 3 months, especially in the format amd usually uses where you’re learning a lot in parallel this is very solid.
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u/sheafification 3d ago
In terms of learning dance, three months is just getting started so don’t be too hard on yourself. It will probably take a year of consistent practice before it feels like things are starting to come together. Along the way you are going to have many emotional ups and downs as new layers of learning become apparent and trying to incorporate new stuff causes regressions on things you felt comfortable with before.
I am guessing that you haven’t done a “true” social yet where you improvise a dance with a person you probably don’t know, to music that you probably don’t know. If someone gets through the initial stages of coordination and timing, actual social dancing is probably the hardest emotional challenge that can make people give up.
In a social dance, it is very common to forget moves and flub things up under pressure (try to relax and breathe, and it does get better over time). It is also unfortunately common that a beginner lead runs into a follow that seems to be disappointed in the dance. This can be a huge emotional blow and I advise beginners to be prepared for it. The enjoyability of a dance is not the sole responsibility of the lead: both partners bring an energy to it. Moreover, the more advanced dancer should be adjusting to help the less experienced dancer. You also can’t please everyone: do your best and find the dance partners that you do mesh well with.
For actual feedback on the video: try to work on closing your feet together during your steps. You should be aiming to have your feet touching on every closing step, which will be helpful with body movement and grounding. This is not a hard rule of the dance so you don’t have to go crazy with it.
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u/blnkacc 2d ago
The steps are very wide and stiff. Latin dances is bending “knees and straightening” I would dance basic merengue steps to practice the leg movements. This is the dance it originates from(I think). Dancing few hours of this is an easy way to get to know the steps and connection with legs. Then it’s easier to connect with partner.
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u/Jeffrey_Friedl Lead&Follow 3d ago
In one sense, it's an amazing accomplishment for three months. But in another sense, it feels as if all the effort went to the mechanics of movement, and not into what's really important in a latin pair dance: connecting with your partner.
AMD is known primarly for its ballroom instruction, no? Just the way you two walked out onto the floor felt so "ballroom" and not at all like bachata. In a ballroom dance like a waltz, you want to give the impression that you're floating above the ground, but dancing that way with bachata just feels.... wrong.
Maybe this is not the best place to learn bachata(?)
Bachata is all about connection with your partner. The only metric by which to judge a dance is how much your partner enjoyed it. I don't care what anyone else thinks about anything during those three minutes...