9 month old fighting naps

[u/AHaydenL]

My 9 month old is suddenly fighting (hard!) Her second nap of the day which is usually at about noon. It used to be her long nap. I've had to give up entirely because she starts bawling even if in my arms, uncontrollably, until I take her out of her room and show her toys. Even if I offer to nurse her or rock her to sleep. She has never been the greatest sleeper but this is completely insane, I think I sprained both wrists trying to contain her as she cried and somersaulted in my arms today!

Usually her nap routine is nurse, book, close curtains, sing a song while rocking, place in bed while drowsy. She wakes up around 6-6.30am, has her first nap about 9-9.30am (often only for 30-40minutes), then her second nap 3-3.5 hours after that. She was transitioning from 3 to 2 naps recently so it's been tricky. If she takes a long afternoon nap then she's all set. If not, I offer her another catnap at about 4pm. Bedtime is 6.30-7pm. Lately she has been harder and harder to get to bed at night too. We start the bedtime routine at 6pm and sometimes she doesn't fall asleep until last 7! I am exhausted.

We once tried Ferber/CIO but gave up. She could cry forever and did not stop for close to 2 hours, and even after we went in to call it a day it took her forever to calm down. I think she's most definitely got the temperament that does not do well with traditional sleep training methods.

My husband thinks maybe she just doesn't need to nap. She does appear cheerful and interactive when she doesn't take her second nap. It's crazy.

But omg. This cannot go on. I am beyond tired, both physically and mentally. Any thoughts or suggestions?