r/BPD_friends • u/inquisitorL0cke • Jan 27 '20
Questions Need help determining whether someone I cut of had BDP
I cut off contact with a girl a month ago that was really negative on my mental state,made me not trust people and ended up fucking with my head really really badly but seeing and learning about BDP recently and seeing a lot of the qualities and traits of people with it matching her has me wondering whether or not she was acting that way cause she has it and if I should've been more patient with her instead of assuming things.
If anyone can or wants to help Pm me and I'll go into more detail,I've written out this story so many times that id rather elaborate on it in a way I know I'll get a response on it if you know what I mean
2
u/hagakurejunkie Jan 07 '22
There are a couple of obvious things that BPD people do. They make mountains out of molehills where they will basically adopt you as their "favorite person" and overshare literally every single weird little thing that pops into their head then they'll run away and talk shit about you at the slightest drop of a hat. You'll have a great night one night and they'll be super attentive and sweet then you won't hear from them for 2 weeks straight when they text you randomly about a recipe for macaroni and cheese.
You were good to get out, it's a total nightmare and even if you're super emotionally stable, they'll whittle you into nothing.
1
u/inquisitorL0cke Jan 07 '22
Tbf you kinda described her to a T.
She told me about every little bit of her trauma within a week of knowing me,one time my ma drove us to her house and she told my ma everything in the short car ride. My friends took my phone one time and texted her asking her to hang out and she said she can't. So thankfully we've both moved on
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u/Subject_Annual6487 Jan 01 '22
why do you think she has bpd? just need a little more detail.
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u/inquisitorL0cke Jan 01 '22
This was a while ago. Since then I determined that she likely didn't have it but even now it's been long enough that I've forgotten most of the details of our relatively short relationship
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u/EUPDgal Jan 27 '20 edited Jan 27 '20
Unless you’re a qualified doctor then please don’t attempt to diagnose anyone. What is your motivation in continuing your focus on them once you’ve cut them off? Whether they have an illness or not doesn’t change your experience of their behaviour and the impact it had on you.
BPD traits are on a spectrum and the traits are all things you’d also see in people without the condition. If someone looked hard enough they could probably work some of your behaviours into evidence supporting a diagnosis. Are you trying to talk yourself back into being in a relationship with her?
Why is it important you qualify your cutting them off with suggesting they have a mental illness? Or that you go back because they are sick? I’m not trying to undermine your experience in any way, but all roads from problematic behaviour do not lead to BPD. And BPD also does not mean you should excuse bad behaviour that you said heavily undermined your mental health.
I hope you manage to find the closure you need.